Thursday, November 10, 2005

Reality Bites

This evening I decided to rededicate myself to cardiovascular fitness through an evening jog. No big deal, right? I mean, I play basketball once a week and I walk my dog faitfully every morning. I've always seemed to have the energy when I needed it so a reinstitution of a simple jog should be no problem....................................well, time and slothful living can do a lot to a middle aged body.
I probably made it 5/6th of a mile before I was winded. Exhausted to the point of where my throat was tingly and I felt like vomiting. My legs wobbled as a feebly tried to wave to my neighbors, hoping to convince that I was just wrapping up a long jog and not passing out after a short one. I arrived home ready to cry, my road to physical well being just got a lot longer and considerably bumpier.
Up until I was about 25 exercise was very easy. I didn't need to condition myself I just went out and played. My friends and I were so active that we didn't have to pay close attention to small and meaningless things such as diet or sleep. Everything changed about 5 months into my marriage. We were at a friends wedding. While dancing I noticed that some strange soft substance on my sides prevented me from experiencing a full range of motion. I had started to grow sides, I was getting fat.
Since then I have been in fitness limbo. My appearance is changing to the point of taking action but the fact that I can still do things keeps me believing that no real action is necessary. Well I might be reaching a crossroads. Changes need to be made. Tough decisions need to be taken when dining out. Dedication is needed in the form of regular exercise. It's no longer a matter of exercising to have fun it's become exercising to keep from getting fat and becoming a poster child for heart diesease.
I better cut this entry short, I've got a night cap with the floor. I still need to do 50 more pushups.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

The Baby Blessing

Today was a day that will not soon be forgotten. In the presence of our parents and ward family I was able to give Alexandra her baby blessing. It was quite an overwhelming feeling, I was very nervous for the first time in several months. To think of the responsibility that I have as a father to bless and care for a little beautiful baby.
Alexandra was dressed in a beautiful white, frilly dress that extended well past her little legs. She was an angel and reverently sat through the whole blessing and meeting. The blessing itself was a singular experience. My heart was so full and my mind was racing so fast that I don't think that I adequately conveyed my feelings. But the spirit of the act and the support of friends and family helped buoy my inadequate toungue. I take comfort in knowing that the Lord knows my heart and understood what I was trying to say.
I have spent countless hours thinking about how I am going to help Alex to fulfill what was stated in her blessing. We are to be her nurturers, her teachers, her friend, her providers. The Lord has made us stewards over the most precious thing in world; we must respond by taking our stewardship seriously. This blessing is just the first in many critical steps that we are going to be part of in the life of Alexandra Jean Jensen.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Randomizer Volume III Series I

Halloween- Another unnecessary holiday. But I suppose if it gets we an extra long lunch break on a Friday afternoon for a costume party then it can't be all that bad. There are some people that really get into the whole costume thing. Part of me wouldn't mind being a Roman legionaire or Mariachi but the other part just doesn't want to make the effort. For this years parties I was Rocky, a Doctor, and a Canadian. It's amazing what a little creativity and a thorough search of ones closet can create.

Football- My resolve to minimize my Sunday football was stretched and broken today. I figured I spent a good 3 hours listening to the sweet strains of pads crunching and Troy Aikman. This is going to be a hard habit to break. There has to be a way that I can satisfy my football cravings
without destroying the spirit of the Sabbath.

Saturday- There's a certain sense of satisfaction that comes with a hard days work on ones own house. Yesterday I employed the services of the rug doctor and really went to town on my carpet. It is amazing the amount of dirt that those machines can pull out, I will never lay on the ground again. We want to get the house nice and clean before the arrival of our parents this week, so far the place is looking pretty good.

Thought Magnitude- I frequently visit the blogs of several of my friends. The level of discussion and thought really blow me away, I feel like such a simpleton. Every day it seems like there is thought provoking commentary on current events, philosophy, or gospel principles. I haven't really conditioned myself for that kind of critical thinking since college, quite a shame. Right now my level of interest and understanding of most critical subjects is superficial and goes no deeper then a quick glance at the latest news source. I have selected a couple of pet topics, such as immigration reform for example, but have I given the requisite time and thought to the subject to really be conversant?

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Sunday Thoughts

It's Sunday evening and instead of laying in bed and trying to satisfy myself with whatever cable television has on, most likely weekend stalwarts such as Die Hard or Speed, I opted to spend some quiet time in the office. Sunday is a day of peace and reflection and sometimes I feel like I let the tv get in the way.
Today was a good day. I was able to spend alot of time with Alexandra. She is really starting to show some personality and is now smiling rather liberally. I was also able to spend some good time preparing my Sunday School lesson the importance of families. Church was good, the usual Sunday lineup of high council speakers was broken up with a missionary homecoming. Dinner was a very tasty and tender pot roast, venerable american sunday tradition. We even had one of our good friends over. All of these things are what make Sundays the most enjoyable day of the week.
Now I can quietly read and get myself ready for another week. I still think I can get more out of my Sundays but I am happy at the progress that has been made. I don't give myself enough time like this, truly a shame. The best thoughts and moments of learning come at quiet times when one is free from the distractions of every day life. Thats why I need to take Sunday observance more importantly, I don't want to rob myself of these benefits.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Finding our passion

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker today at lunch, one that has got me thinking. It basically revolved around job satisfaction and what kept us in our current positions. We both argreed that it is pointless and futile to pursue a job in which you don't enjoy. We spend too many hours in our work to waste it on something that doesn't produce an honest degree of satisfaction. A great job is one that has you thinking about it even after you have come home.
Based on that criteria, I think I am failing. I either need to give my job a more honest effort or quit, refusing to act would be a disservice to both me and my employer. In all honesty there are some good opportunities to get involved. While the products of the company and the industry it serves aren't the most captivating to me there are still opportunities to utilize the skills I obtained as an MBA. If after 3-5 months of honest effort things don't change than it might be time to move on. It should be as simple as that.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Good Dad/Bad Dad

Words cannot express my love for my daughter. Her presence has brought an immense joy into our life that money, words, or accolades cannot match. But there are strings attached to this joy, mainly a complete restructuring of our once comfortable lifestyle and a trial of our patience.
Every now and again Alexandra will get in a sour mood. There is certain protocol that is to be followed to calm her down. This usually consists of music, various types of rocking, and routine and it typically works 90% of the time. But there is the rare occasion where none of this will work and she her cries will grow increasingly loud and desperate. My patience grows thin with each passing minute until it is on the verge of snapping. What should I do here?
My first inclination would be to calmly set her in the crib or rocker and walk away. She can cry herself to sleep. I have, afterall, done everything humanly possible to assuage her infant pains. My wife typically doesn't agree with this approach and is an advocate of waiting out her cries, however long they should last. So am I bad dad for knowing when to set her down? Should I rush in every time she starts to whine? I am torn and am trying to find a middle ground between abandoning my baby girl and over pampering her. Maybe additional thought or one of my wise friends will help me deal with this.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Born at the wrong time

One thing, possibly the only thing, that I like about business travel is that I can select a good book to keep me company. The latest selection is "A war like no other" by Victor Davis Hanson. It edged out "Theodore Rex" and "1776". It details the Peloponessian War and its application to the complex world that we face today.
The book is very exhaustive in its coverage and offers the best details of the war and its strategies this side of Thucycides. Hanson has a very strong background in both military and greek history. He makes a strong case in comparing ancient Athens to the current United States. While both nations were not perfect they did create systems that engendered a degree of resentment with their neighbors. Athens- with its democracy, prosperity, culture, and pomp- elicited the ire and jealousy of Sparta, Corinth, Euboea, and others- the same way that the US has done in the past half century. While the war was relatively small, when one looks at the number of people involved, it serves as a strong historical microcosm from which we can learn various things. Evidently this long and drawn out war is one of the most studied chapters of military history.
While I am only 100 pages into the book I am very much into it. I have been reading much about the ancient Greek and Roman societies lately. I must say that everything that I admire about the Romans can actually be attributed to the Greeks. Their finest moments and achievements were built on the foundation that the Greeks left behind. In reading a biography on Cicero I quickly learned that all of the greatest Roman thinkers were trained and followed the tenets led out by their older neighbors across the Adriatic.
Something else that I have found interesting. All of the great names that we associate with Classical Greece lived in the tumultuous 30 year Peloponnesian war. While the Spartans and Athenians were mired in war, figures like Socrates, Pericles, and Aristophanes were thriving. It's hard to think that highest moments of Greek achievement were couched between the Persian invasion and the Peloponnesian war.
Anyways, back to the present day and my present concerns... Namely trying to figure out why Alexandra won't stop crying.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

The Sunday Dilemma

The NFL is my favorite sport/league. It has been ever since the Jazz faded into oblivion. But my love for this sport has never really had a chance to blossom. Why? Sunday football. As long as games are played on Sunday I will always watch with a strong feeling of guilt.
Sunday's are designed to be a respite from the day to day grind of work and life. If executed properly a Sunday allows one to relax, regain perspective, and refuel for another week. Family time, quiet thought, church, and relaxation are key ingredients for this to happen. Through in the NFL into the mix and the whole cake gets half baked. Do you get my dilemma?
So what usually happens is that I will go to church and prepare my lessons but my thoughts will be on how the Cowboys are performing. Hence I will be "going the motions" on both things. I can't really get into the season; but more importantly, I am short changing myself of the benefits associated with proper Sabbath observance.
As I really dissected my love for football I realized something. Most of my interest in the sport peaks in the obsession. This is attributed to the fact that I can control the time I give to the sport and can avoid Sunday watching. Plus, every team has a chance when everyone's record is 0-0.
Anyways, I am at an interesting crossroads. I know what direction I need to take but I regret having to say goodbye to to a life long friend. I am afraid that I will demote myself to a casual NFL fan in order to regain the real blessings of Sunday.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Alternative Fuels?

The most recent spike in gas prices has me wondering if the perpetual increases will ever stop. I, like many, am almost to the point where I am going to seriously alter the way that I drive. Upon initial consideration it appears absurd that we haven't either come up with commercially viable alternative ways to power vehicles or come up with better long term strategies for gas consumption. I keep hearing the argument that to make an across the board change to another fuel would be impossible. We would need to completely overhaul our infrastructure, our cars, etc... Nothing short of a JFK moon vision, they say, will change this.
If the biggest obstacle to change is the fact that we are so far along the gasoline path, why don't we explore other types of consumption in developing nations like China and India. I don't think that they have the massive infrastructure dedicated to gasoline that we do and as they develop why don't they do it with the myriad options that supposedly are out there? I imagine that I am really simplifying the issue but is it even being considered. If you haven't already sunk so much into a dated and infinite resource such as gas wouldn't you want to explore other cheaper and cleaner alternatives?
I know that this would cause headaches such as having machines that are compatible with both types of fuels, dealing with the oil cartels, getting everyone to buy in etc... but I don't think that they are insurmountable. I guess I'm just sick of hearing about all of these great alternative fuels and not seeing anything done about it. China or India would be great places to test them.


Meanwhile in the time that it took me to post this rant gas prices have increased $.03.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

A moment to catch my breath

Shelley and the baby are out of town for a few days which means I get to recuperate some of the lost sleep from the last few weeks. I've never been so excited to go to bed at 9pm. Their absence will also give me a chance to catch up in other things, namely yard work, errands, and reading. My weekend is booked exclusively with things that I want to do, imagine that.
The past few weeks have taught me the importance of establishing a routine with your newborn. A routine provides stability and structure. Our most frustrating moments have come when Alex has broken from the norm.

-----
I have very mixed feelings about the hurricane. On one hand my heart goes out to the people whose lives have been temporarily or permanently devasted by the storm. I am comforted by the outpouring of assistance and aid that has come. On the other hand I am appalled at the general lawlessness that is taking place in certain quarters. People not looting grocery stores for necessities but stealing guns and appliances. Police having to focus on maintaining the peace when they should be performing rescues. Another example how tragedies can bring out the best in most people and the worst in others. I guess you can tell a lot about a community/person/nation by how they respond to adversity. I hate to see the reputation of New Orleans tarnished because of the actions of a few.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Baby Thoughts

We've had the baby now for almost three weeks and I must confess that she dominates my thoughts and efforts. Soon enough I'll have time to devote to other matters but right now I am relishing fatherhood. A few thoughts that I've had over the past couple of weeks.

  • Life really hasn't changed as much as many people said it would. The only real alterations are an adjustment to my sleeping patterns, less tv, and a more conscience effort to maintain patience. At this stage we are basically just feeding, holding, and changing her. The real changes and challenges, I feel, will come in a few years when we will see how well she responds on her own to our teaching. That is a couple of years away and in the meantime I will enjoy the sweet and simple joy that comes with holding your baby girl.
  • Bowel movements. There have been a couple of times when I have just completed a changing and within 30 seconds of picking her up I feel an explosion between her legs. Man, kid's today have no scruples. I'm starting to wonder if there is away to get more mileage out of diapers. All in all I don't mind changing diapers, right now they smell almost like a bakery. Things will probably change once they start eating chicken nuggets.
  • We have been in public enough to receive advice and tips from a variety of different sources. This started at early pregnancy and evidently carries over through the growth of the baby. One thing I've learned is that there is more then one way to successfully care for a baby. I've probably heard 15 different opinions on when you should feed a baby and I bet that 13 of them would probably work.
  • Alexandra is a sharp and alert girl. When she is awake, which is happening more and more, she loves to make eye contact and look around. She loves to wiggle and can already flip over. She also has the most powerful little mouth. I have a new found respect for breast feeding.
  • More thoughts to come...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

The Birth Announcement

Announcing the birth of Alexandra Jean Jensen

On a humid Phoenix afternoon, 3:29pm on August 1, 2005 to be exact, the heavens opened and the stork dropped off a miraculous package in the form of a little girl named Alexandra. The prenatal journey, the one that included random bits of advice from strangers and plenty of back aches, has given way to the spectacular adventure called life.

She initially weighed in at 7lbs 2ozs and 20 inches but those numbers seem to vary depending on the size of her diaper. She very much enjoys to wiggle around and confuse her days from her nights. She has a generous helping of beautiful dark hair compliments of Ryan, Kaysville’s 1976 recipient for the hairiest kid award. She also has the most gorgeous and penetrating eyes.

Being parents has created a lot of exciting and strange changes; we are now considering trading in our Outback for a Honda Odyssey. We couldn’t be any happier and we are very excited, and a tad nervous, for the journey that awaits us as parents.

We wanted to briefly notify you of the news and, fulfilling our role as “proud parents”, send you a couple of photos of our beautiful little gal.

Enjoy,

Ryan and Shelley Jensen

Thursday, August 04, 2005

The grand arrival

Alexandra Jean Jensen
August 1, 2005

The day finally arrived. The prenatal journey has ended and the grand adventure called life has just begun. After three days in the hospital we were able to introduce Alexandra to her new home. Quite a feeling.

Right now I feel an abosulute sense of being overwhelmed. I am now caretaker over the most precious thing in our lives. I am very much committed to being the best father she could of received. No acheivement, award, or accolade can even come close to comparing to the simple majesty that exists in raising a family.

I look forward, in the coming weeks, to documenting how Alexandra changes our lives and helps to refine our eternal perspective. I also look forward to spending countless hours looking into her eyes and bragging about her to my friends.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Those lovable penguins

We recently saw "The march of the penguins", a national geographic movie detailing the lives of the Emperor Penguins of Anarctica. It was suprising that we were going to the movies to see something that we probably wouldn't watch on TV. What was even more suprising was that we were greeted with a completely full theatre. All in all we were pleasantly suprised.
What distinguished this from any other special on national geographic was the supreme story telling. The story and music helped us understand their lives on our terms and it made us very much interested in them. You take away the narration and nobody cares. By the end of the show you were completely in love with the penguin and in awe of the sacrifices that they make in order to keep their species going.
As we walked out we couldn't help but do grateful for this type of movie. We hope that this starts a trend and that we can see these kind of shows on a regular basis. We would much rather take our kids to see something that has some educational value than the mindless CGI eye candy that most kids love.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Books...I almost forgot about those things.

We just got back from a pleasant dinner and trip to the local bookstore. While wading through the sea of kids dressed as Harry Potter- the 6th book comes out tomorrow I'm told- I was able to discover a long lost friend, the book. Reading was something that I'd do voraciously while growing up but something that has become more of a casual hobby as of late.
I wouldn't say that I'm a beer bellied TV watching ignoramus but I have to admit that my thirst for education through the written word has somewhat waned. While pouring over numerous interesting titles I had a feeling of guilt. Sometimes I'll come home from work and force myself to watch summer reruns of shows that aren't even entertaining or close to being worthwhile. I've lost that discipline that I once had as a kid to find an interesting book and see it through to the last page.
So I decided to take a stand right there in aisle number 3. I purchased a book on the Roman great, Cicero, and didn't look back. I'm already through the first 30 pages and I'm gaining momentum with each successive chapter. The satisfaction achieved through reading and learning is tenfold over most mundane activity. How sad and dull would be if I didn't take the time or effort to understand this world and its inhabitants. Books are that opportunity. I'm a fool for ever neglecting their inviting pages.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Anxiously Waiting

The 8 month pregancy journey has been equal parts exhilaration and anxiety. The gig is up and we are very ready to have our baby girl in our arms. We've reached the point were additional classes, opinions, and readings provide little more in terms of added benefits. There is one thing that can't be taught and that is parental instinct.
I'm sick of hearing opinions. They come from everyone and from any where. I've learned that there are many ways to deliver and raise a baby and none of them is absolutely right. We know our circumstances and we can tailor the best approach for our family. I'm sick of reading books. It's no fun looking at pictures and reading about things when you don't have a baby available to put them to the test. I'm sick of seeing Shelley in a constant state of uncomfort. She has been very patient up to this point but her resolve is weakening. I'm sick of going into our baby room and not having a baby girl to pick up.
I can't verbally emphasize how anxious we are. We are counting down the hours. If we have to wait any longer I might just have to reach up there and pull her out myself. Gar, do you feel the same?

Friday, July 01, 2005

Swimming through the ambiguity

I've just completed my first month of employment at my new job. So far my initial impressions are mixed. There are alot of good and mediocre things about this company. First, I very much enjoy the entreprenuerial culture that exists here. This is a small and growing company and opportunities abound. But at the same time there is a drag in efficiency and a potential lack of direction. We are, for example, very good at launching innovative new products. But, however, we don't do a good job of managing them once they are in the market. So instead of milking product X for all of its profit potential it languishes in uncertainty because the attention has been turned to the next thing.
Anyways, back to me. From the get go my job was very ambiguous. I was told that I would be the sales/marketing analyst. Beyond that, my job description was anyones guess. This is the first such position at Xyron so there is no precedent or procedure. So my first month has been spent, not only trying to become familar with the company and its culture, it has also been spent trying to create goals and provide structure to my position. I am starting to get a good grasp on the business, the next few weeks will tell if I will be able to truly structure my position to the point where I can really add value to the company.
But in the end it all comes down to me and how proactive I am. Excelling at these qualities, I have found, seperates the wheat from the chaff.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Seeing the future through the eyes of a little girl

My new job has me on the road more often, the whole "road warrior" attraction is way over rated. I was in Dallas for a one day meeting. Naturally 60% of the time was spent traveling and maybe 15% to the actual order of business. Anyways, that gave me a lot of time to hang out in airports and airplanes. An incident on my evening flight back to Phoenix struck a very strong chord with me and gave me a glimpse into my future role as a father.

I as I was boarding the plane I noticed a Hispanic family. Their lack of English proficiency was evident as they struggled to get through the gate. I came to their aid and helped them out, communicating to the stewardess their needs and helping them get seats next to each other. The father was very grateful and he quickly introduced me to his wife and beautiful young daughter. I soon found out that they were from the Honduras and that they were visiting family in Phoenix. Well, we all boarded the plane and, as luck would have it, I was assigned a seat directly behind them.

The flight took off and the first hour was pretty uneventful. I was trying to do some reading when I noticed a small pair of eyes staring at me, it was the little hindering girl. I quickly met her glance with a smile and we were soon making faces at each other. This continued for the next several minutes. Her mom noticed and gave us a warm smile. Soon as was sharing some candy with her and we talked. She told me a little about her family and her city. She had the most beautiful smile that made the flight worthwhile.

At the end of the flight I couldn't help but think about our upcoming baby girl. In a few months I will be experiencing a joy that will make this airplane encounter pale in comparison. I will be the father to a beautiful baby girl. I cannot wait to forge a bound with her and provide her with the guidance she will need. That little playful girl from the Honduras gave me a small glimpse of the bliss and joy that comes with raising kids. That kind of happiness is immeasurable and cannot come from any other source.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Letting the destination come to you

This weekend Shelley and I had the chance to breakaway from the heat of Phoenix and spend some time in Bisbee, an old ghost town in the high foothills of southeast Arizona. It was once a thriving mining community, reportedly the largest city between San Francisco and St Louis at the turn of the century. Once the mines played out it was abandoned. But like many of the abandoned mining communities, it was later claimed by the counter culture. These hairy hippies, with the help of some enterprising historians, have turned Bisbee, and a few other ghost towns in the state, into quaint artistic, cultural, and historical places to visit.
We pulled in around 7:30pm. A intense thunderstorm and car wreck delayed our arrival by an hour. We chose to stay in a bed and breakfast, one time mansion of some big wig at Phelps Dodge. It was pretty dark so we spent our evening in the well lit part of the old down town. After an nouveau italian dinner, something you'd expect in Park City or Sedona, we retired to our quiet place. Without TV we had to rely on, ghast, conversation and old back issues of "Arizona Highways" to pass the time.
Our morning was somewhat rushed. After a great Eggs Benedict breakfast Shelley's back started to act up. Our six hour itinerary turned into 45 minutes of browsing through shops on main street. We were soon on the road again, a scant 12 hours after arriving. While the visit was worthwhile, we didn't even stratch the surface of this place. Moving onto the opening statement that inspired this entry.

I'm guilty of "checklist traveling". I visit destinations merely for the joy of saying I've been there, another sticker to put on the bumper. I'm afraid that many other people our guilty of this practice. We pull over at the side of the road and take the 15 minute tour and all of the sudden we are experts of whatever place we are visiting and we get in the car and move to the next place. We all need to take a deep breath and let the trip come to us. There are myriad things to do in Bisbee, simple things that require alittle effort. Like most places, you can't truly visit Bisbee from the back seat of a car. You need to take a hike to view some of the rare bird species. You need to spend a couple of hours at a local cafe to observe the ecclectic and eccentric locals.
This trip we weren't able to do that. We saw enough of Bisbee to know that this is a place that we want to truly explore. Next time, when Shelley isn't 7 1/2 months pregnant, we will spend a few days and patiently let Bisbee come to us. That way we will have truly felt its charm.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The Quiet Peace of Assurance

This weekend I was able to procure employment that will truly take care of the needs of the family and allow Shelley the freedom to decide what she wants to do, careerwise, without the financial pressure of our needs. It truly is a good feeling.

I have roughly two weeks before I begin. That gives me two weeks to wrap up my project work, take care of house related errands, and truly enjoy the quiet of the neighborhood. While I have been working from home for the last 3 months, I don't think I had truly been able to enjoy or take advantage of my free time. Most of the time my idle or free thoughts were filled with anxiety and the job search. I could never truly enjoy simple pleasures because I was always wondering if there was something else I should be doing in my job search. I suppose my faith wasn't as strong as it could have been.

In contrast, the next few weeks will provide alot more freedom and opportunity. With my longer term prospects secure I can truly focus on other activities. I will spend some time this afternoon to learn how my camera works without being worried about how my resume looks. I expect to get alot done in this time and I only wish I had alittle more time.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

The Randomizer (Series II, Volume I)

- Last night we attended the Maroon 5 concert at the Cricket Pavillion. Evidently we are too old to like them. If I didn't know any better I would have thought we had mistakenly gone to a Back Street Boys show. There were scantilly clad 15 year old girls for as far as the eye could behold. It was as if every "O.C." watching girl in the valley was called for a meeting. I have to admit that all of the screaming and perfume tainted my image of the band. They are, however, pretty talented and they put on a good show.

- A thought related to the concert. I've observed that better musicians put on a far superior show. A very straightforward but true observation. There is no studio magic to hide behind, just your skills as musician. (An assumption that can easily be refuted given todays technological possibilities) Good bands are able to really expand and recreate their songs and give them new life while performed live. Other mediocre performers, Third Eye Blind comes to mind, are limited in the way that they can present their material. As a result, the live performance is lacking. By the way, I was pleasantly suprised by one of the opening acts. They are called the Thrills and are from Dublin. I will give them a look.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Every troop has got one

One of my more enjoyable church callings is as a "scout volunteer". The calling was issued to help our fledgling troop and allow some of the younger married men in the ward to get out with the scouts. It's a great calling. We don't have to deal with most of the hellish work that occurs between trips, we just show up and provide support on selected camping trips. So far I have cherry picked upcoming trips to Southern Arizona and the Mogollan Rim.

Last week we (the leaders) went up to a local lake (Bartlett Lake) for an over night leadership training camp. The area captured the rare desert beauty that is native to Arizona. A small but clear lake encapsulated by rugged saguro covered hills. Anyways, the trip was enjoyable. We had great meals. We had skits. (The same ones that we all grew up with) We had meetings about the importance of our calling. And we hung out and talked.

It is in these informal conversations around the campfire that certain and more true personalities among friends are uncovered. This is a chance to really get to know your friends who you typically only see on Sundays. I left the trip with a several stronger friendships. I also left the trip having been mildly annoyed by a couple of people. Strangely enough their personality seems to be commonplace with all of the troops I have been associated with. Allow me to describe them.

They are the grisled middle aged men who most likely have served in the military. They have a strong sense of patriotism and all of the virtues espoused by the scouting program. They see scouts as the only true vehicle for which boys can become men. All of these characteristics are very laudable and are not the subject of my criticism. But these men have one consistent characteristic that annoy me. They never stop telling stories. We must have spent 3-4 hours of our 13 hour camp out listening to our military guys tell us about the time when they were "stranded in the Cascades during a training exercise and all they had was a pocket knife" or the time they "took the young kids on a snipe hunt" or "the joke they played on the new colonel at the shooting range" or "the time that one obstinate lughead Johnson boy finally became a man durng the big flood on the Grand Canyon trip". The stories will never end. They all come with a built in lesson.

Since I was the new guy it seemed like most of the stories were directed at me. I did my best to feign interest while formulating an exit strategy. I went to bed early just so I didn't have to hear one more story about the awesome power of the Black Hawk helicopter. If anything this trip taught me who I should avoid on future campouts.

All in all it was great to get out of the city. This has been something I've wanted to do for quite some time. I will just be a tad more careful about who I set my tent next to on future trips.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Spartan living, today?

Right now I'm currently reading "Gates of fire" by Steven Pressfield, he's the fellow who gave us "Bagger Vance". This book is a historical fiction, like Bagger, that details the Battle of Thermopylae. In this battle, an ancient day version of the Alamo, the grossly undermanned Spartan armies held the large imperial amries of King Xerxes at bay and helped Greece fend off the Persian invaders. The book doesn't try to give a factual play by play, that would be hard, but tries to provide insights into the Spartan culture.

The Spartan region was home to the proud warriors of ancient Greece. While the thinkers came out of Athens, the toughest men came from Sparta. They had an elaborate and harsh warrior code that dictated Spartan living. At age 9 Spartan boys would enroll in the Agoge and would focus on warrior skills and working together in victory. Their training regiment bordered on brutality and young men, beaten down and exhusted by the training, were taught that it was better to keep going and die then to give in and submit. After all, are breaks given for the tired during warfare? As a result of this training the Spartan armies were among the envy of the ancient world and their lines were rarely broken. While training was extreme, these boys learned the value of brotherhood, honor, and competition.

Now to my question. How would the Spartans fare in today's world? Theirs was a world that broke down the individual and built up a unit. Ours is a world that breaks down the group while catering and celebrating the individual. While I would agree that some of Spartan life was extremely brutal, I do greatly admire what they were able to accomplish and what they stood for. I am not alone. The greatest leaders and thinkers throughout history have studied and celebrated the Spartan code. But sadly we live in a time when we couldn't truly live according to their code. Heck, the Boy Scouts can't even function without being intruden upon by someone whose "rights" have been violated.

The reason that the Spartan's were so feared and effective was due to their code and the way they lived. Without those those harsh conditions they wouldn't have been great. Our modern society today wouldn't allow for alot of the conditions that made the Spartans what they were. Personal rights are great and necessary, but sometimes it seems that their excessive emphasis can also be an excuse for not truly being great or not truly being responsible.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Reading Relevance

Sometimes during certain parts of my life I encounter something that perfectly pertains to my situation at that point. Many times I have uncovered scriptures that have spoken directly to a challenge I was facing. Recently the book that is speaking to me is "Atlas Shrugged".

The book, like the views of Rand, espouse the importance of productivity of capital generation. The enemies or antagonists are called "looters" and make their wealth by feeding off of their connections, laws, and socialist tendancies. The real generators of industrial wealth are condemned and weighed down and finally flee the country.

Why does this pertain to me? I am currently in between jobs and evaluating my worth as a contributor to the work force. Do I have the courage, work ethic, and intelligence to generate wealth myself? Do I have to rely on others to make things happen for me? These thoughts were recently evoked by a recent phone call from my mother-in-law. In it she stated that she knew a few people that I can talk to regarding a couple of opportunities in Utah. It made me think. Should I feel guilty for accepting such help? I didn't truly earn this advantage through my own work but through my connection to other people. All things being equal I want my work to speak for me and not my network.

Connections are an essential thing, a true necessity in todays world. I guess they are good in establishing an initial relationship. But work, skill, and knowledge are what should be needed in order prove worth and make connections last. So both social abilities and pure skill are needed to truly succeed. I wonder what Ayn Rand would think?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Parrot Mania

Shelley and I attended the Jimmy Buffet concert last night. If I were to ever switch careers and become an anthropologist his fan following would be a fascinating case study. The show was great but the real treat came from people watching.

Jimmy Buffet is one of those artists, like Phish or the Dead, that don't see much commercial success but have a tremendous and loyal following. So while bands like U2 or ColdPlay make a killing on album sales, performers like Buffet are constantly touring and feeding off of their devoted followings. And these devoted fans definitely make the price of admission worth it.

Most Buffet fans are in their 40's and 50's. Almost all are Caucasian and middle class. These are people who, on any other day you'd expect to run into at Home Depot, have completely embraced the escape Jimmy's tropical sounds. The concerts allow them to forget about their mundane suburban lifestyles and drink insane amounts of alcohol, all while wearing parrot hats and flowered shirts. This is escapism at its finest. Inhibitions are out the window and people are carried far away from reality. We could make some serious money by videotaping and blackmailing random people in the audience. We just sat back and enjoyed the view.

I agree that escapism comes in many forms- sports, other forms of music, gardening, etc...- but it is hard to argue that there is anything more entertaining than watching Jimmy Buffet fans forget about reality and become drunken pirates. It's a real cultural treat. Oh yeah, and the concert wasn't that bad either.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Gadianton Jihad

Just an observation from my scripture reading, nothing more.

The books of Helaman and early 3rd Nephi contain many passages that detail the problems created by the dark and secret works of the Gadianton Robbers. This clandestine group worked in the shadows and constantly thwarted the efforts of the government and church, even to the point of quietly controlling key government posts. While it didn't appear that they were able to influence to most righteous saints, they were able to get to the vast majority whose faith wasn't as strong.

The actions and tactics of this group caught my attention, given what is currently going on in the Middle East. While their motives might be different, Al Queda appears to use many of the same techniques employed anciently by the robbers. The most striking similarity is how they employ quiet and guerilla tactics, blending in among the people and using unconventional warfare. They both appeared to be extremely devoted to their cause, to the point of employing fear and elaborate rituals to ensure loyalty. I won't go as far to say that Satan is the author of Al Queda but both groups were set on the destruction of their enemy, the US now and the Church in ancient times.

This observation isn't too significant but it has shown me that human nature is virtually the same, regardless of place or time. The problems, tendencies, conditions that existed thousands of years ago still exist today. That is why I can read the writings of ancient prophets and still benefit from their teachings. The fundamental aspects of life are always the same.

Friday, March 25, 2005

A thought regarding the apostacy

I have been spending a lot of time with the missionaries these days. This has given me plenty of opportunities to particpate in the lessons they teach. It has been very rewarding. Recent changes in the lesson/discussion structure has included the apostacy and restoration as some of the first principles that people are taught. The first lesson, as taught by local elders, is longer and discusses more complex ideas then I was accustomed to teaching while an elder.
It was during one of these recent first lessons, or discussions or whatever they are called these days, that I was struck with a thought. Not a thought that would in anyway shake my testimony, but a thought that raised an issue that I don't feel has really been addressed. I am hoping that some of the occassional and silent watchers of this page- namely Bell and Gar- will help me with this.
We were at the point in the lesson where the apostacy and restoration were brought up. The elders were discussing what comprised a dispensation and what it meant to be in a state of apostacy. The next few minutes were spent teaching about the rejection of the early apostles and the darkness created by the apostacy. I got to thinking. According to our calculations and understanding of time, we have inhabited this earth for something like six or seven thousand years. (Gar correct me if I'm wrong) Why would the lord allow for such a long apostacy when that period of roughly 1,700 years would account for something like 25% of our existence on earth? That equals millions of people who never even had the blessings of the church and priesthood in their lifetimes.
It seems hard for me to think that a perfectly executed plan would include such a long period of time where there was little eternal progress. I realize that the millenium and temple work will help all of these people out. I also realize that, compared to the answers provided by mainstream religion, this one makes much more sense. This thought doesn't really shake my faith, it's just something I want to better understand.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Public Places

I have been spending alot of time at the Phoenix library lately as I complete work on a current project. I find that I work better in an environment that is different and doesn't have the comfortable distractions of home.

Besides improved productivity I have been able to observe the general populace that goes to the library. The most prominent groups of people I see are high school kids avoiding school -strange place to play hookey-, groups of young school children, mothers with children, and homeless people. The homeless, as can be expected, are among the largest group. I guess if I were in their shoes this would be a preferred location, there aren't many spots where they are truly welecomed. At first I have been nervous, anticipating that every encounter will end in a solicitation for money. While that has happened, I have observed some thing different. They are among the most active people at the library. They seem no less smart then anyone else and are looking into topics that one would assume would belong to more educated folk.

The library has helped me humanize a portion of the population that is conviently turned into aliens. As I've become friends with a couple of people I've realized that, outside of a few bad breaks or choices, they are no different than anyone else. It's sad that I have prejudices but I'm grateful that the library is helping overcome one of them.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Spring respite

I don't know what it is. Despite my best efforts of keeping a record of my life it always seems like theres a drop in my output in the early spring. I'm not sure if it is because this time of year is busy, or it has something to do with the spring soltice, or if there is just so much more to do outside. Nevertheless, I have failed to account for several weeks of memorable events, I will try to do better.

More to come....man, the weather is just too nice.

Friday, February 25, 2005

One last change

It appears that there has been a definite theme to my recent posts. Changes are a natural and necessary function to life, I'm glad that I have been able to recognize and learn from them. The following is just a trite observation that has made me painfuly aware of the fact that I am aging.

Two of my favorite sports icons have recently retired. In January Emmitt Smith joined the Cowboys for a day so that he could retire with a star on his helmet. I have carefully followed his amazing career ever since I was in Jr. High. The monumental 49ers-Cowboys games of the mid 90's were amazing events and strained some of my early friendships. Later, in February, Karl Malone announced that he was leaving basketball. My recollections of the Mailman go back even further to my days as a 4th grader. I remember, as a small lad, briefly meeting him at an appliance store. All of my friends embraced Karl and the Jazz, they were our only team in the world of professional sports.

I guess I took the careers of these two giants for granted. I just assumed that they would always be there, that was atleast the case for most of my life. Their retirements signaled the end of my real involvement and interest in sports and helped me realize that maybe I should devote my recreational efforts to tasks more befitting with my age such as gardening and the symphony. I will still follow sports, but the loss of my intimate connections with these games might lesson my allegiance to some degree. And that just might make my wife a little happier.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

more changes

I guess it takes certain events in my life to truly me wake up and take account for myself. The last few weeks have provided some major events that have really got my attention and focus. The latest of these events was the passing of my boss. He was only 41 and was in the prime of his life. His death has really touched me on many levels. He was a brillant man who positively touched the lives of many people, as was evidenced by the hundreds who attended his funeral.

I have spent several hours evaluating his life and what made it special. He was a visionary man who took risks and thought big. This was what attracted me to seek employment with his company. All it took was 5 minutes and you were equally sold and ready to sign on. More then that he made sure that you were included in his vision. Despite all of the ups and downs that this company encountered over the last few months, his first order of business was to always take care of his employees. He ran a business to make money, but not at the expense of more important things like family.

This death has also given me a chance to look inward. He lived such a good and full life... I needed to see how I was doing. His example has given me new resolve to make some positive changes in my life, that might be the best legacy he could have left me. I feel that I would be letting him down if I didn't act on his example.

This has been particularly hard for me. This is the first death of someone close who wasn't expected to die. He was my contemporary and a great mentor. I will always cherish those memories of our time together. Those times, after work, when we were able to leave work behind and discuss the similarities between Judaism and Mormonism, outline our goals for our future, or just to share quirky stories about our families.




Steven Mark Gootter

Steven Mark Gootter was born on May 2, 1962 in New York. He passed away on February 10, 2005 in Scottsdale, where he resided for the past four years. He moved to Tucson with his family at the age of eight and graduated from Tucson High School, where he was state champion in tennis, and in 1985 graduated from the University of Arizona. Steve was an entrepreneur and enjoyed a successful career in real estate, financial planning, and mergers and acquisitions. He excelled in fostering his own and others' creative ideas. This passion was reflected in his founding of Journey IPD, an intellectual properties firm specializing in helping inventors and entrepreneurs license, commercialize and protect their ideas. Steve, himself, held several patents and has products selling in 27 countries. Steve was an active, giving, optimistic, and honest individual. He had a tremendous sense of humor and a gift for making others laugh. His "joie de vivre" radiated in everything he did and everyone he touched. His spirit will live on by all who knew him. He will be greatly missed by his wife Debbie, his two children, Sophie and Max, his parents Joseph George and Paulette Gootter, Sisters Shari and Claudine (Andrew) Messing, and his nephews, Alex Gootter and Drew Messing. Services will be held at Temple Emanu-EI on Sunday, February 13, 2005 at 2:00 PM., 225 N. Country Club Rd., Tucson, AZ. Interment will follow in the Temple Emanu-EI Section of Evergreen Cemetery. Remembrances can be made to The Steven Gootter Educational Fund, c/o Shoah Foundation, P.O. Box 3168, Los Angeles, CA 90078-3168 or the Sarver Heart Center for Research, UMC 1501 N. Campbell, Tucson, AZ.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Changes....part duex

I grew up in a very stable household. My dad was a dentist and my childhood passed without any great needs or deviations from normal life. That environment did very little for preparing me for my sojourn into life.
The last few years have been full of many twists and turns, ranging from ultimate bliss to the fear of uncertainty. Shelley is now pregnant. With that comes all of the expected changes to our life. These changes will be joyful. One the other end of the spectrum is my current job. It appears that my company will not receive the necessary funding needed to get the business self sustainable. I love my job, my co-workers, and my work but I am now faced with the grim specter of having to find another job. I could stay here and continue to work in uncertainty and risk or I could search for a more stable job. With the upcoming kid, I will be forced to do the latter. The next few months will be filled with faith, diligence, and networking as a work to achieve that stability that I was accustomed to growing up.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Passing of an american generation

With this weeks passing of Johnny Carson I realized that some of the key voices of a generation have left us. People like Johnny, Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra, and even Ronald Reagan were instrumental in serving as a mouth piece for a generation of americans. While I was too young to catch these people in their "cultural" primes I have nonetheless felt the impact of their lives. I truly miss the good nature, nostalgia, and pride that these performers brought. Today's popular culture is void of figures we can relate and look up to.
I remember those occasions as a child when my parents let me lay at the foot of their bed to catch Johnny's monologue. I didn' t understand much of his humor, but that didn't matter. He had a charisma and likeability that resonated enough that even a small boy could be drawn in. In a way, Johnny Carson helped me connect with my parents, grandparents, and so many older people that I loved and respected. I hope that our generation can do the same thing for those that follow.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Changes

It seems like everything I get all of my ducks in a row and start to acclimate myself to a certain stage in life, something happens to make me alter my course. This year is no exception. After a year and half my wife and I are finally pregnant. And with this pregnancy comes a multitude of changes that will completely affect every facet of our lives. And we thought having a dog required adjustments!
Anyways, words cannot adequately express the excitement that I have regarding the upcoming birth. I have looked forward to fatherhood for quite some time. All of those hours spent creating parenting strategies and planning family trips will finally be realized. I just hope that I am ready for this awesome responsibility. Oftentimes my thoughts will uncover inadequacies. Some of them real and some of them created by an overly active mind. Either way I am counting on plenty of help from up above on this endeavor.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Well then...

The New Year, my renewed committment to my paper journal, and my apathy have all conspired against the blog. I will commit to blowing the dust off of this thing and will get back into my routine.

Dude