Performing Live

Jodi and I have declared this the year of "Yes". Each week we seek out to do something new, challenging, and out of our comfort zone. It has gone well and provided a new and more colorful texture to the daily grind.

I've had something I've wanted to do for a long while....perform some of my music to a live audience, or at least one that wasn't a reflection of myself in the mirror. I've written several songs and even made an attempt to record some of the simpler ones. But I have never really performed them in front of a group of living and breathing people. This past Thursday I mustered up the guts to do just that at the Fiddlers Dream.

A few things about the selection of the Fiddlers Dream for the performance:

• It is affiliated with the Quakers so I figured that this would be a very tolerant and accepting place.
• It's main patrons are ex-Hippies in their middle ages. Once again a very open, accepting, and "mellow" group.
• It is basically a big wooden shack behind the Quaker compound....making it a far cooler venue then some random Coffee House or Book Store.

It's a pretty straight forward affair. Every Thursday night they have an open mic type of thing. The first 20 people put their names in a hat and the order is randomly selected. You have 8 minutes or two songs and the whole thing lasts a couple of hours. As expected I was one of the very last people in the rotation. That gave me ample time to second guess myself and for my nerves to turn soft and gooey.

Most performing and in attendance were veterans of the scene. This is their little club and they all had their following and routine down. About half of the performers also do this semi-professionally by doing festivals or concerts throughout the valley and region. There was one dude, think Caucasian Tommy Chong, who broke up the performances with a bit of stand up.

Eventually my time came. The crowd, knowing that I was a 'first-timer' was especially supportive. I took my place on the stage, introduced myself, and tried to focus on the songs and not the crowd. Strangely enough it worked. I sang "Peace Comes in the Morning" and "What I'd Say". My biggest concern was my voice and the high notes of the song. Fortunately I was able to get that down without killing the key. The only thing I wish I could have changed was the tempo. My nerves were still gangly and the pace of the songs sped up to match the thunderous beat of my heart.

I got the two songs done in the allotted amount of time and received a great response. I'm sure most of it was a courtesy response but I'd like to think that a couple of people enjoyed what I had to play. I left the stage satisfied that I finally did something that I had wanted to do for a long time.

I'm realistic and realize that my music will probably never be played by anyone other then myself. But that's not really the point. This music means something to me and I have felt a sort of obligation to write it and record it. It would just suck to have all of those songs sit there on the tip of my tongue without trying to record and bring them to life. The performance was an icing on the cake to prove to myself that I have the fortitude to do it.

I don't know if I will try many more live performances but I'm glad I said "yes" to the challenge and stepped on to the stage. If anything I learned that the greatest stuff in life comes by stepping beyond your normal self.

The tracks keep a comin'

I was hoping to have this one complete but the timing of the vocals were off in a couple of places. I need to go back on the drawing board. The final cut will also contain a hammond organ in the bridge and an additional guitar.

Feedback is appreciated.

Click here to listen to Ryan's super cool "Untitled-Track-1-46"

New Song

I've taken my act back to the studio. I still have about 12 songs to record before I feel comfortable in moving on to new stuff. This song is a couple of years old and carries emotion from another time and place.


Click here to listen to "Held-you-in-my-arms-once-upon-a-time"

Revised Song

This is a song that I posted awhile ago but was still rough. I like version better but there are still a couple of issues. I had three guitars layered and there are spots in which they don't synch. I think that all of the guitars might detract a little bit from the bleak mood that the song is trying to evoke.

Click here to watch 'I-had-a-dream-and-it-wouldnt-end-17'

New Song- "What I'd Say"

A fairly simple melody almost reminicent of Buddy Holly. An older piece that was almost set up as a conversation. One friend pleading with another to look past his hurt and move on.

http://media.putfile.com/What-Id-Say

A new song

Follow the link below to another new song. I'm still not set on the title. Humor me and listen.

Click here to watch "Peace-comes-in-the-morning"

Another song

It's a bit old and speaks of another time. It's titled "I had a dream and it wouldn't end". I will be redoing the vocals but since I don't know when I will get to it I will post this.


Click here to watch 'I-had-a-dream-and-it-wouldnt-end'

Sugar Sweet Something

Here is one of my new songs for your listening pleasure. Click on the link below to sample


Click here to watch 'Sugar-Sweet-Something-Master'

The first performance

Earlier this year I set the goal to perform live by the end of August. With the self-imposed deadline fast approaching I decided to act. The location? The "Into the Bean" coffee shop just north of the Mesa Community college. The audience? About 20-25 some odd college aged kids present to catch some music, do some homework, and get the latest tips for Dungeons and Dragons. It was open mic night and full of possibility.

I opted to go with two songs. I would lead with my arrangement of the unheralded McCartney classic from the White Album, "Mother Natures Son". That song would fade and lead into one of my own numbers, "i had a dream and it wouldn't end." All in all the mood evoked would be somber and one of loneliness....the feelings that seemed so over powering in my life a year ago.

I had prepared the arrangement about three weeks and practiced it until I could play it blindfolded and in the dark. I even got the vocals to the point where I felt like I could successfully embellish certain lyrics. I was geared up and ready to go. Nothing big, right? Nothing to lose, perform in front of a few anonymous people and be done with it.

I was fine until about twenty minutes leading up to the performance. The kid in front of me did a splendid job with some of his songs and performed with poise and confidence. Meanwhile I was starting a feel some mild trepidation. I had to play the songs with a new guitar- mine didn't have the necessary pickups- and I had never sung into a mic while playing. The amplified vocals would definitely exacerbate any flaws in my singing. I was wavering when my name was called.

I introduced myself and the fact this was my first time doing something like this. The crowd was very understanding and their interest seemed to pique slightly when they heard this fact and saw that my nerves were becoming soft. I took a deep breath and went into the piece.

From the get go, the Beatles song was fraught with miscues. I played the tempo too quick and the vocals were off. I lost a little bit of confidence and lowered my voice, things were lost. Thankfully the song ended and I moved into my song. Things definitely improved as I was far more comfortable with my music then with hacking up an accepted classic. My vocals felt more natural and more emotion was released. I felt slightly better.

All in all the whole thing lasted about 8 minutes. The performance sounded so much worse then the countless times I practiced it in private, I blame that on nerves. I understand the big picture. This was nothing more then a small coffee house and not a spacious concert hall. But I am very glad to have done this and I think that I will do some more. I have overcome the first and most difficult hurdle. The first, and most difficult, step has been taken.