I recently had the opportunity to host a lifelong friend for a long weekend visit. We had grown up together but over the past several years our paths seldom crossed and our contact was very limited. That all changed earlier this year when both of us had events that completely changed our own lives and the way that others look at us. I went through a heart breaking divorce and he accepted the fact that he was gay.
Since our news broke we have become very close. As different as our experiences have been there are some erie similarities in the feelings that we have gone through. We can empathize with each other in a way that no one else can...I feel like he can understand some of my pain, hope, and anxieties and vice versa. He can be sharing an experience with me about a break up or about alienation and I can relate.
No one else really understands us. They can try to explain our circumstances by reducing them to their lowest common denominators. "He can overcome these feelings of homosexuality, he's just weak.... so he was betryed by his wife, just move on". Life is much easier when it is reduced to black white; life is much more simple when it can be reduced to it's simplest terms. But is it really so?
He brought one of his girlfiends down with him (brief side note: gay friends have enormous caches of pretty girlfriends) and we set out to have a memorable weekend. We did things I wouldn't normally do (eating a vegan restaurants and visiting mystical readers in Sedona) and we had some incredibly engaging conversations (can anything in life be changed? how one deals with having faith in mormonism knowing that you are living a lifestyle contrary to its teaching. how to associate with someone who has hurt you deeply while still staying positive.)
Some circumstances in my life have truly prevented me from moving on with my life. Until my divorce is final I am prohibited from dating. Until my divorce is final my financial situation will remain somewhat precarious. I have been truly experiencing a crisis of faith lately. For the first time in my life I have begun to question some of my beliefs that for so many years had served as the foundation for my actions and hope. Sometimes I feel completely alone and abandoned.
This weekend I felt a strange companionship...like we were all lonely strangers whose lives brought us together to offer each other mutual support in our trials. It's strange but my newly minted gay friend has offered me hope and perspective that family, friends, bishops, and books could not.
My perspective is changing. While I feel confident that I will make it out of this abyss it gets so amazingly frustrated knowing that, for some reason, I am still wading neck deep in it. I am eternally grateful for my gay friend for coming down into my abyss and helping me swim in the darkness. It gets so lonely down here and it sometimes helps knowing that I'm not drowning alone.
The weekend soon left but as it ended I felt that my resolve was somewhat strengthened. I found beauty in unlikely new places. I didn't reduce things to their simplest terms but life isn't simple. We took certain issues and challenges and faced them head on. Life isn't black and white. Life is very gray and it is through confronting this "grayness" that we can really determine what is and what isn't meaningful and true.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Getting out with the in crowd
I work next to one of the retail meccas in the greater Phoenix area. This area is replete with all of the customary vestiges of wealth- the BMW's, the bronzed and tightened women, the designer clothing, and the feigned look of importance. An old co-worker hit the nail on the head when he observed that Scottsdale was the home of the $30k a year millionaire. The Jones’s can't even keep up with the Jones’s here.
Anyways, I am human and on occasion I give into the siren song of Facconable or the corduroy call of the Gap or the high fashion of the Republic. Today I was determined to get some new shoes...the Nordstrom rack would be my destination. Am I a woman?
As expected the store was absolutely busy. It makes perfect sense, right? All of the top name brands at reduced prices. The most affordable way for the savvy shopper to keep up with the latest, well sort of latest, looks. Brand name, after all, does mean something...especially in this town. I went over to the shoe racks and was greeted by several people feverishly poring over the Cole Haans and Alan Edmunds like if they didn't react with lightning speed then someone else would claim their find. As I looked around I could have sworn that I was in the Serengeti and that the people were hyenas and the clothes were the rotting yet savory carcass of a once proud beast- a once relevant clothing style. There was a determination and savage look on their faces as they efficiently sorted through the racks.
I tried to be more casual in my routine, trying not to look like I was a slave to clothes. But I do admit that I almost bought a pretty ugly Facconable shirt just because it had the tag. I suck. I picked out my shoes and left with a pang of guilt because I was sort of that type of person that I sometimes mock.
Scottsdale is an exceptionally superficial town. That was made very clear to me after recent trips to Austin and Chicago, two towns with real people and real identities. There is a definite self-centeredness there that can only be shadowed by the Capital of "Me", Los Angeles. It is kind of sad to see people define themselves by colorful possessions. I have to admit that even self righteous little me isn't immune to this tendency. I left the store asking myself whether or not it was possible to enjoy high fashion and high society without becoming a slave to it. Any answers?
Anyways, I am human and on occasion I give into the siren song of Facconable or the corduroy call of the Gap or the high fashion of the Republic. Today I was determined to get some new shoes...the Nordstrom rack would be my destination. Am I a woman?
As expected the store was absolutely busy. It makes perfect sense, right? All of the top name brands at reduced prices. The most affordable way for the savvy shopper to keep up with the latest, well sort of latest, looks. Brand name, after all, does mean something...especially in this town. I went over to the shoe racks and was greeted by several people feverishly poring over the Cole Haans and Alan Edmunds like if they didn't react with lightning speed then someone else would claim their find. As I looked around I could have sworn that I was in the Serengeti and that the people were hyenas and the clothes were the rotting yet savory carcass of a once proud beast- a once relevant clothing style. There was a determination and savage look on their faces as they efficiently sorted through the racks.
I tried to be more casual in my routine, trying not to look like I was a slave to clothes. But I do admit that I almost bought a pretty ugly Facconable shirt just because it had the tag. I suck. I picked out my shoes and left with a pang of guilt because I was sort of that type of person that I sometimes mock.
Scottsdale is an exceptionally superficial town. That was made very clear to me after recent trips to Austin and Chicago, two towns with real people and real identities. There is a definite self-centeredness there that can only be shadowed by the Capital of "Me", Los Angeles. It is kind of sad to see people define themselves by colorful possessions. I have to admit that even self righteous little me isn't immune to this tendency. I left the store asking myself whether or not it was possible to enjoy high fashion and high society without becoming a slave to it. Any answers?
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Recent Church Talk
I was recently asked to speak at church in my new singles ward. I guess it is rather interesting considering that I am not even a member of the ward. Here is the text of the talk I gave. I ended up shelving the talk in favor of following a more rough outline.
---------
Brother Swenson has asked me to offer some thoughts regarding General Conference last week; particularly on the importance of following the prophet. Using the talk titled “Becoming Wise unto Salvation” by Elder John E. Fowler as a guide I will share a few remarks.
We are all here more or less doing the same thing. We are having a mortal experience and learning to use our free agency in order to find the true happiness that will ultimately lead us to Celestial glory. But thanks to free agency, temptation, and sin that clear vision can oftentimes get muddied down in things that slow our progress or even bring misery. This whole notion was made clear to me on a recent trip to a music festival in Austin, Texas. While this trip gave me the opportunity to sample some world class music and food it also allowed me to observe some people who have, perhaps, lost sight of the plan of salvation or of values in general. Between all of the free loving hippies, pot smoking teenagers, and strange smelling Europeans I was exposed to a multitude of differing philosophies and outlooks on life; most of them differing from those of the Latter-day Saint persuasion. I was reminded of the scripture in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 that was recently quoted by Elder L. Tom Perry in last week’s general conference.
“The time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears…And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables”
That scripture does a masterful job of illustrating the feeling of “relativity” that exists in our age. We live in a world that no longer values a true sense of right and wrong. It has become a day of “everyone’s” philosophy for themselves. There is no certainty, they say, it all depends on where you stand. This is not a wise point of view, we know better then this.
As we struggle to make our way through this maze of uncertainty we have been given certain aids to help us along our journey. These things are fixed and unchanging and we are to grasp on to them if we are to stabilize our lives. The principle source of this aid comes from the counsel of both modern and ancient prophets. These chosen vessels of the Lord understand his will and receive inspiration as it pertains to our people. General Conference is our designated time to receive this counsel.
Before I continue with my remarks let me share a statement from Elder Fowlers 1992 talk that underscores the importance of General Conference.
“Do members of the church truly understand the importance of the messages spoken from this pulpit in general conference session held in the tabernacle? Do they understand their responsibility to “hear the voice of the Lord through his servants? For certainly whether by the Lord’s voice or by the voice of his servants it is the same.”
I don’t know about you but there is something calming and comfortable about General Conference. It doesn’t matter where you are at in the world or in your life there’s just a feeling during that weekend that this is where you need to be. It’s like coming home from a long trip and being greeted by an old friend. We long to hear President Monson share another incredible story or quote Shenandoah for the 16th time. We feel so absolutely assured hearing President Hinckley offer sage advice. We feel a slight twinge of guilt as Elder Scott peers into our souls and teaches us doctrine that, while maybe hard, is nonetheless true. The messages shared with us are familiar but they resonate. And to those who apply them they are a source of immense happiness.
For me General Conference is about feeling….feeling this sense of “everything is going to be alright if I just listen and do what they say”. It is sometimes difficult to have a concrete grasp of their messages upon the first listen and oftentimes one talk can blend into the other. That’s why we have six months between sessions so that we can study them and discover how they apply to our own personal salvation. I would like to spend the rest of my talk discussing how I’ve prepared for General Conference and how I’ve learned to get the most from the weekend.
Preparation:
First things first, we need to come prepared to hear. Since we can now view conference from the comfort and convenience of our own couch we have the tendency to treat this as any other program we’d watch on TV. Sometimes I attend out of habit. Meaning I show up in my pajamas, get a bowl of cereal, casually listen, and wait for someone from the General Primary leadership to speak so that I can sneak in a nap. The results are very little gained but a stiff neck, lost time, and a wasted opportunity. A very wise bishop once counseled me to pray specifically that I might receive answers during General Conference to questions or issues that I was struggling with. This focused my attention and allowed me to receive the personal revelation regarding my life.
So in short we need to come prepared to listen. A lot of power of these messages rests in their subtlety. To the unprepared listener they appear to be routine and redundant but to the humble and ready ear they are the exact message that needs to be heard. If we are not in the right stand of mind or humility we might pass up a lot of the best opportunities to learn.
Attention:
Once we are prepared we are ready to listen, to really listen. Oftentimes there are many distractions to take our attention away from the subtleties of the message. I’ve noticed that I’m able to get more from conference when I actually get dressed up and head over to the church and listen. Less donuts but better results.
1 Kings 19:11-12 states:
“And behold the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake;
And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”
It’s through quiet contemplation and attention that we are able to hear the whisperings of the spirit. These whisperings can come as quickly as they go so we need to ensure that we capture these insights as soon as they are received. These impressions can often take root and become sound principles that we can build from.
Revisiting the topic:
Conference goes as quickly as it came and we are soon left with a few impressions and some bad Pomory’s commercials. We obviously don’t have big enough nets to catch the entire deluge of what is shared during conference so we have the next six months to ponder and apply those principles that are especially pertinent to our lives.
We know our own lives, our own circumstances, our own weaknesses, our own yearnings. When we study the conference messages with that understanding we are able to be richly rewarded with specific counsel for our unique set of circumstances. Sometimes we might listen to a talk five or six times before we are able to glean the intended message. Sometimes the wonderful insights that we obtained are completely lost on someone else. Each of us is unique and though the gospel of Jesus Christ is universal it can be felt and learned in different ways.
Here are some insights that I received from recent conference talks. Most of them are based on the April session because I have only begun to digest the remarks from last week. Perhaps you felt the same way perhaps you learned something completely different.
· From Elder Holland I learned that I am truly not alone. And that, regardless of what difficulties I am facing in my life, I will always have a loving Savior who can understand and succor me.
· I learned about true humility and learning to become like a child from Elder Eyring. This talk offered me a pattern from which to make a very important decision in my life.
· Elder Hales taught me about the amazing gift of free agency and the enormous impact for both good and evil that our decisions can have on ourselves and others. His story that recounted his experience with President Spencer W. Kimball and his remarks regarding our ability to withstand Satan left a profound mark on me.
· Elder Packer used the example of Corianton to illustrate the how the law of justice and mercy work in our lives.
· President Monson, always the storyteller, used the Tongan makefeki to illustrate just how dangerous certain sins can be if we don’t make the necessary effort to avoid them.
These are just a few examples of some of the recent talks that made a measurable impact on me during the last six months. They will not soon be forgotten because I made the effort to allow them to be studied and applied towards my life.
In closing I want to testify that the teachings and counsel offered during General Conference represent one of our best opportunities to combat the sin and uncertainty that we face today.
Testimony---
---------
Brother Swenson has asked me to offer some thoughts regarding General Conference last week; particularly on the importance of following the prophet. Using the talk titled “Becoming Wise unto Salvation” by Elder John E. Fowler as a guide I will share a few remarks.
We are all here more or less doing the same thing. We are having a mortal experience and learning to use our free agency in order to find the true happiness that will ultimately lead us to Celestial glory. But thanks to free agency, temptation, and sin that clear vision can oftentimes get muddied down in things that slow our progress or even bring misery. This whole notion was made clear to me on a recent trip to a music festival in Austin, Texas. While this trip gave me the opportunity to sample some world class music and food it also allowed me to observe some people who have, perhaps, lost sight of the plan of salvation or of values in general. Between all of the free loving hippies, pot smoking teenagers, and strange smelling Europeans I was exposed to a multitude of differing philosophies and outlooks on life; most of them differing from those of the Latter-day Saint persuasion. I was reminded of the scripture in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 that was recently quoted by Elder L. Tom Perry in last week’s general conference.
“The time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears…And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables”
That scripture does a masterful job of illustrating the feeling of “relativity” that exists in our age. We live in a world that no longer values a true sense of right and wrong. It has become a day of “everyone’s” philosophy for themselves. There is no certainty, they say, it all depends on where you stand. This is not a wise point of view, we know better then this.
As we struggle to make our way through this maze of uncertainty we have been given certain aids to help us along our journey. These things are fixed and unchanging and we are to grasp on to them if we are to stabilize our lives. The principle source of this aid comes from the counsel of both modern and ancient prophets. These chosen vessels of the Lord understand his will and receive inspiration as it pertains to our people. General Conference is our designated time to receive this counsel.
Before I continue with my remarks let me share a statement from Elder Fowlers 1992 talk that underscores the importance of General Conference.
“Do members of the church truly understand the importance of the messages spoken from this pulpit in general conference session held in the tabernacle? Do they understand their responsibility to “hear the voice of the Lord through his servants? For certainly whether by the Lord’s voice or by the voice of his servants it is the same.”
I don’t know about you but there is something calming and comfortable about General Conference. It doesn’t matter where you are at in the world or in your life there’s just a feeling during that weekend that this is where you need to be. It’s like coming home from a long trip and being greeted by an old friend. We long to hear President Monson share another incredible story or quote Shenandoah for the 16th time. We feel so absolutely assured hearing President Hinckley offer sage advice. We feel a slight twinge of guilt as Elder Scott peers into our souls and teaches us doctrine that, while maybe hard, is nonetheless true. The messages shared with us are familiar but they resonate. And to those who apply them they are a source of immense happiness.
For me General Conference is about feeling….feeling this sense of “everything is going to be alright if I just listen and do what they say”. It is sometimes difficult to have a concrete grasp of their messages upon the first listen and oftentimes one talk can blend into the other. That’s why we have six months between sessions so that we can study them and discover how they apply to our own personal salvation. I would like to spend the rest of my talk discussing how I’ve prepared for General Conference and how I’ve learned to get the most from the weekend.
Preparation:
First things first, we need to come prepared to hear. Since we can now view conference from the comfort and convenience of our own couch we have the tendency to treat this as any other program we’d watch on TV. Sometimes I attend out of habit. Meaning I show up in my pajamas, get a bowl of cereal, casually listen, and wait for someone from the General Primary leadership to speak so that I can sneak in a nap. The results are very little gained but a stiff neck, lost time, and a wasted opportunity. A very wise bishop once counseled me to pray specifically that I might receive answers during General Conference to questions or issues that I was struggling with. This focused my attention and allowed me to receive the personal revelation regarding my life.
So in short we need to come prepared to listen. A lot of power of these messages rests in their subtlety. To the unprepared listener they appear to be routine and redundant but to the humble and ready ear they are the exact message that needs to be heard. If we are not in the right stand of mind or humility we might pass up a lot of the best opportunities to learn.
Attention:
Once we are prepared we are ready to listen, to really listen. Oftentimes there are many distractions to take our attention away from the subtleties of the message. I’ve noticed that I’m able to get more from conference when I actually get dressed up and head over to the church and listen. Less donuts but better results.
1 Kings 19:11-12 states:
“And behold the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake;
And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”
It’s through quiet contemplation and attention that we are able to hear the whisperings of the spirit. These whisperings can come as quickly as they go so we need to ensure that we capture these insights as soon as they are received. These impressions can often take root and become sound principles that we can build from.
Revisiting the topic:
Conference goes as quickly as it came and we are soon left with a few impressions and some bad Pomory’s commercials. We obviously don’t have big enough nets to catch the entire deluge of what is shared during conference so we have the next six months to ponder and apply those principles that are especially pertinent to our lives.
We know our own lives, our own circumstances, our own weaknesses, our own yearnings. When we study the conference messages with that understanding we are able to be richly rewarded with specific counsel for our unique set of circumstances. Sometimes we might listen to a talk five or six times before we are able to glean the intended message. Sometimes the wonderful insights that we obtained are completely lost on someone else. Each of us is unique and though the gospel of Jesus Christ is universal it can be felt and learned in different ways.
Here are some insights that I received from recent conference talks. Most of them are based on the April session because I have only begun to digest the remarks from last week. Perhaps you felt the same way perhaps you learned something completely different.
· From Elder Holland I learned that I am truly not alone. And that, regardless of what difficulties I am facing in my life, I will always have a loving Savior who can understand and succor me.
· I learned about true humility and learning to become like a child from Elder Eyring. This talk offered me a pattern from which to make a very important decision in my life.
· Elder Hales taught me about the amazing gift of free agency and the enormous impact for both good and evil that our decisions can have on ourselves and others. His story that recounted his experience with President Spencer W. Kimball and his remarks regarding our ability to withstand Satan left a profound mark on me.
· Elder Packer used the example of Corianton to illustrate the how the law of justice and mercy work in our lives.
· President Monson, always the storyteller, used the Tongan makefeki to illustrate just how dangerous certain sins can be if we don’t make the necessary effort to avoid them.
These are just a few examples of some of the recent talks that made a measurable impact on me during the last six months. They will not soon be forgotten because I made the effort to allow them to be studied and applied towards my life.
In closing I want to testify that the teachings and counsel offered during General Conference represent one of our best opportunities to combat the sin and uncertainty that we face today.
Testimony---
Friday, October 06, 2006
Of muscle shirts and protein shakes
One of my new routines involves me spending a few hours a week in the gym. It is in this fortress of vanity…er, self improvement… that I work to get my body back into a suitable “dating” condition. I’m determined- well, let’s be honest…somewhat determined- to get in excellent shape. So far I have lost 25lbs and am at 11% body fat. The next goal is to add a little muscle and get myself prepared to either do a marathon or triathlon.
Anyways, while the whole thrill of feeling and looking better has been great the real treat is observing how extreme the “gym” culture can be taken. This is a complete way of life for some of these meatheads. I am all for working hard but most certainly not at the expense of living a normal and well rounded life. Some of these people live and die by the gym.
There’s a group of people that I regularly observe. Their routines, while probably pleasing to steroid dealers, can be rather comical. They literally observe every action they make in the mirror. There’s a reason why every club has more mirrors in it than a fun house. Things here aren’t measured in how much faster one can run or how much farther they can hit the ball but rather how well their pectorals look in relation to their biceps. These people, it seems, tie their self image directly in how they look in that mirror. They’ll hour after hour obsessing over the slightest detail in their physique.
I suppose that this gym might just be a microcosm of society in general. Good lucks and muscle are the desired “veneer” that we value. So much so that things like communication, education, religion, work, and even normal physical activity are forgotten. This somewhat superficial fix is easy and will go a long way in covering up inadequacies in other areas. We value some of the strangest things. Sometimes we don’t spend enough time on the things that really bring the most value. You can’t have a meaningful conversation with a deltoid after all, can you?
Anyways, while the whole thrill of feeling and looking better has been great the real treat is observing how extreme the “gym” culture can be taken. This is a complete way of life for some of these meatheads. I am all for working hard but most certainly not at the expense of living a normal and well rounded life. Some of these people live and die by the gym.
There’s a group of people that I regularly observe. Their routines, while probably pleasing to steroid dealers, can be rather comical. They literally observe every action they make in the mirror. There’s a reason why every club has more mirrors in it than a fun house. Things here aren’t measured in how much faster one can run or how much farther they can hit the ball but rather how well their pectorals look in relation to their biceps. These people, it seems, tie their self image directly in how they look in that mirror. They’ll hour after hour obsessing over the slightest detail in their physique.
I suppose that this gym might just be a microcosm of society in general. Good lucks and muscle are the desired “veneer” that we value. So much so that things like communication, education, religion, work, and even normal physical activity are forgotten. This somewhat superficial fix is easy and will go a long way in covering up inadequacies in other areas. We value some of the strangest things. Sometimes we don’t spend enough time on the things that really bring the most value. You can’t have a meaningful conversation with a deltoid after all, can you?
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I guess it's never really just a visit
I just got back from my old house and a brief visit with my old wife. It’s something that’s awkward, unnatural, even somewhat forced. More then anything it leaves me with a feeling of emptiness.
It’s amazing how such a routine act, such as dropping something off, can carry such an emotional weight. Given what we’ve trudged through I imagine that it will take a long time, if ever, before we can be around each other without having some of the old feelings resurface.
We chatted for maybe 10 minutes. Really nothing, you know. Superficial things like what we’ve been up to and Alex. We can move the conversation away from us and over to Alex because it is much easier. It’s strange because as intimate partners there was nothing that couldn’t be discussed; now there is very little that can enter the conversation. I no longer feel the responsibility or disposition to share my life, goals, and pursuits.
After the pleasantries and “how to do’s” ran their course I thought it best that I leave. I just don’t see any point to lingering. There’s still a part of me that sometimes longs for that old family but those hopeful embers are quickly extinguished by the realization that there is too much pain that I can’t afford to wait or hope for a person who doesn’t truly love or respect me. My greatest joys will be fulfilled through someone else.
I took one last look around my old house; the place I once called “home” and put my heart into maintaining. Now it was just an empty shell…no warm feelings, no welcome sensation. Now I was just a visitor. As I left she thanked me for doing a few helpful things and then she called me “Ryan”. What the hell? I don’t think that she had ever called me that, it was somewhat awkward. I’m now home alone with my thoughts. This whole ordeal has made me more expressive and I want to make sure that I capture moments like this. Why? I don’t really now. Maybe it’s so that I don’t forget what I’ve gone through; maybe it’s to remind me that I have better days ahead.
It’s amazing how such a routine act, such as dropping something off, can carry such an emotional weight. Given what we’ve trudged through I imagine that it will take a long time, if ever, before we can be around each other without having some of the old feelings resurface.
We chatted for maybe 10 minutes. Really nothing, you know. Superficial things like what we’ve been up to and Alex. We can move the conversation away from us and over to Alex because it is much easier. It’s strange because as intimate partners there was nothing that couldn’t be discussed; now there is very little that can enter the conversation. I no longer feel the responsibility or disposition to share my life, goals, and pursuits.
After the pleasantries and “how to do’s” ran their course I thought it best that I leave. I just don’t see any point to lingering. There’s still a part of me that sometimes longs for that old family but those hopeful embers are quickly extinguished by the realization that there is too much pain that I can’t afford to wait or hope for a person who doesn’t truly love or respect me. My greatest joys will be fulfilled through someone else.
I took one last look around my old house; the place I once called “home” and put my heart into maintaining. Now it was just an empty shell…no warm feelings, no welcome sensation. Now I was just a visitor. As I left she thanked me for doing a few helpful things and then she called me “Ryan”. What the hell? I don’t think that she had ever called me that, it was somewhat awkward. I’m now home alone with my thoughts. This whole ordeal has made me more expressive and I want to make sure that I capture moments like this. Why? I don’t really now. Maybe it’s so that I don’t forget what I’ve gone through; maybe it’s to remind me that I have better days ahead.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Austin City Limits Recap (Sept 2006)
Day 1 Highlights:
We (my cousin Christian and I) came to Austin for the music and our first day was spent satisfying that pursuit. Well rested and barbequed (at Ray’s of course) we set out early Friday morning for Barton Springs and Wilker park, home of the 5th annual Austin City Limits Music festival. I was in store for a singular time; one that would contain several experiences I don’t believe I will often encounter again.
We arrived shortly after 10am and quickly started to formulate a strategy. It was going to be a long day filled with sunshine and multiple musical acts from which we would have to choose. There was an expected attendance of around 70,000, at this time the crowds were relatively sparse.
After setting shop in one of the many restaurant/cafes along Barton Springs road we enjoyed a nice breakfast of Migas and read musical reviews of our prospective musical selections. The newspaper revealed that we were in a for a wide array of sounds; everything from rock to blue grass to punk to blues. With the continuous arrival of more and more people our excitement and expectations increased.
I convinced my road weary cousin that it was in our best interest to spend the entire day at the park instead of trying to venture downtown first. The first hour was spent getting acclimated to the humidity and heat as well as listening to the moderately interesting sounds of the Benevento Russo Duo. There eight stages that were in constant musical activity.
Christian soon got weary and sought refuge with a Heineken at the AT&T tent. For the next hour he sat in the air conditioned enclosure watching an E! True Hollywood story while I enjoyed the surprisingly good melodies supplied by Paolo Nutini. During this time I tried in vain to connect with a co-worker, this would take place for the next two hours until we just gave up.
Things really started to heat up at the Guster concert. While their performance was above average at best it signaled a change for the better. More and more people were arriving and the good music was just beginning. The next hour was spent putting up with the blue grass doldrums of the girl favorite, Nickel Creek, and thoroughly enjoying the harder sounds of Wolf Parade. It was at the Wolf Parade concert that I meant my first girl, a pretty gal from Austin who was a swimming coach, and witnessed some teenagers fumble around with a bong. They rolled a few blunts and passed them around for their neighbors to enjoy; hippies can be the nicest people.
The weather wasn’t getting any cooler and our appetites were growing fierce. We spent the next couple of hours lounging about in the sand, eating vegan food, and casually listening to Los Lonely boys. They performed nothing particularly noteworthy or interesting; some bands I just can’t connect to. It was during this time that I was approached for a third time by a girl searching for mushrooms. I don’t know if it was a pick up line or if I just looked like the type of person who would carry that sort of thing around. It was kind of amusing, however, to respond to their requests.
With the sun down we were refueled and ready to enjoy the next round of musical performances. We spent a few minutes at the Sparklehorse performance; just long enough to realize how strange and mediocre they were. It was during our next selection that we were richly rewarded; The Tragically Hip. They were very cool, very high energy, and very unique. Their lead singer oozed with charisma and showmanship. We met a few more UT hippies who invited us to a trance party in the woods later that evening. I also spotted my first topless hippes; one of several firsts for me. We left the show prematurely so that we could catch Van Morrison.
My low expectations were soon surpassed because I never gave him much of a chance over the years. It was there that I meant a very pretty UT student named Rachel. We spent several minutes during the show playing “get to know you” games. She is studying Anthropology and History and works at a local steakhouse downtown. Things soon stalled, however, when I didn’t take it to the next step. The problem is that, when dealing with non-mormon girls, I don’t know what the next step is. Do I propose something for the next night? What do I do? Anyways, I thought that she was a pretty cool girl and I think I blew an opportunity to get to know her better. But then again, what good is it to put that kind of effort into someone I wouldn’t see beyond the weekend.
We left the concert slightly early to avoid the crowd. That is hard to do when there are 70,000 people also in attendance. It was a veritable sea of people flowing onto the street from the park. We ran into everything from street performers, to nude hippies, to evangelists, to normal folk. We passed a little time at a local BBQ joint eating and planning our next part of the evening, we were just catching our second wind.
We hopped in the convertible and were downtown in minutes, unfortunately so was the rest of Austin. After much effort we found a parking spot and were soon bustling with a sea of people along the famous sixth street corridor. This is where all of the great bars and clubs are. The great thing about this area is that all of the big bands during ACL play here after the festival. We were all “musiked” out so we decided to focus our efforts on people watching and the bars. After a couple hours of watching my cousin drink I soon became too tired and bored. We were on the road home around 2am. It was a long but very rewarding first day indeed.
We (my cousin Christian and I) came to Austin for the music and our first day was spent satisfying that pursuit. Well rested and barbequed (at Ray’s of course) we set out early Friday morning for Barton Springs and Wilker park, home of the 5th annual Austin City Limits Music festival. I was in store for a singular time; one that would contain several experiences I don’t believe I will often encounter again.
We arrived shortly after 10am and quickly started to formulate a strategy. It was going to be a long day filled with sunshine and multiple musical acts from which we would have to choose. There was an expected attendance of around 70,000, at this time the crowds were relatively sparse.
After setting shop in one of the many restaurant/cafes along Barton Springs road we enjoyed a nice breakfast of Migas and read musical reviews of our prospective musical selections. The newspaper revealed that we were in a for a wide array of sounds; everything from rock to blue grass to punk to blues. With the continuous arrival of more and more people our excitement and expectations increased.
I convinced my road weary cousin that it was in our best interest to spend the entire day at the park instead of trying to venture downtown first. The first hour was spent getting acclimated to the humidity and heat as well as listening to the moderately interesting sounds of the Benevento Russo Duo. There eight stages that were in constant musical activity.
Christian soon got weary and sought refuge with a Heineken at the AT&T tent. For the next hour he sat in the air conditioned enclosure watching an E! True Hollywood story while I enjoyed the surprisingly good melodies supplied by Paolo Nutini. During this time I tried in vain to connect with a co-worker, this would take place for the next two hours until we just gave up.
Things really started to heat up at the Guster concert. While their performance was above average at best it signaled a change for the better. More and more people were arriving and the good music was just beginning. The next hour was spent putting up with the blue grass doldrums of the girl favorite, Nickel Creek, and thoroughly enjoying the harder sounds of Wolf Parade. It was at the Wolf Parade concert that I meant my first girl, a pretty gal from Austin who was a swimming coach, and witnessed some teenagers fumble around with a bong. They rolled a few blunts and passed them around for their neighbors to enjoy; hippies can be the nicest people.
The weather wasn’t getting any cooler and our appetites were growing fierce. We spent the next couple of hours lounging about in the sand, eating vegan food, and casually listening to Los Lonely boys. They performed nothing particularly noteworthy or interesting; some bands I just can’t connect to. It was during this time that I was approached for a third time by a girl searching for mushrooms. I don’t know if it was a pick up line or if I just looked like the type of person who would carry that sort of thing around. It was kind of amusing, however, to respond to their requests.
With the sun down we were refueled and ready to enjoy the next round of musical performances. We spent a few minutes at the Sparklehorse performance; just long enough to realize how strange and mediocre they were. It was during our next selection that we were richly rewarded; The Tragically Hip. They were very cool, very high energy, and very unique. Their lead singer oozed with charisma and showmanship. We met a few more UT hippies who invited us to a trance party in the woods later that evening. I also spotted my first topless hippes; one of several firsts for me. We left the show prematurely so that we could catch Van Morrison.
My low expectations were soon surpassed because I never gave him much of a chance over the years. It was there that I meant a very pretty UT student named Rachel. We spent several minutes during the show playing “get to know you” games. She is studying Anthropology and History and works at a local steakhouse downtown. Things soon stalled, however, when I didn’t take it to the next step. The problem is that, when dealing with non-mormon girls, I don’t know what the next step is. Do I propose something for the next night? What do I do? Anyways, I thought that she was a pretty cool girl and I think I blew an opportunity to get to know her better. But then again, what good is it to put that kind of effort into someone I wouldn’t see beyond the weekend.
We left the concert slightly early to avoid the crowd. That is hard to do when there are 70,000 people also in attendance. It was a veritable sea of people flowing onto the street from the park. We ran into everything from street performers, to nude hippies, to evangelists, to normal folk. We passed a little time at a local BBQ joint eating and planning our next part of the evening, we were just catching our second wind.
We hopped in the convertible and were downtown in minutes, unfortunately so was the rest of Austin. After much effort we found a parking spot and were soon bustling with a sea of people along the famous sixth street corridor. This is where all of the great bars and clubs are. The great thing about this area is that all of the big bands during ACL play here after the festival. We were all “musiked” out so we decided to focus our efforts on people watching and the bars. After a couple hours of watching my cousin drink I soon became too tired and bored. We were on the road home around 2am. It was a long but very rewarding first day indeed.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Thoughts taking root
Lately my mind has released a deluge of thoughts, ideas, and songs. This torrent of creative activity has hit me like never before in any time of my life. I am taking advantage of this by taking copious notes and by writing music. By the end of the year I hope to have an album recorded.
Whether I like it or not I have to credit this increase in creative output to the recent circumstances of my life. It seems like it often times takes extremely emotional experiences before one feels the need or desire to express themselves. I have also spent a considerable amount of time studying the biographies of a lot of prominent thinkers and writers. It seemed like most of them had passed through some sort of strong emotional experiences that spurred their creativity.
I'm not saying that I'm the next Picasso or Hemmingway but I feel like, in some way, I can relate to their desire to have their voice heard.
Whether I like it or not I have to credit this increase in creative output to the recent circumstances of my life. It seems like it often times takes extremely emotional experiences before one feels the need or desire to express themselves. I have also spent a considerable amount of time studying the biographies of a lot of prominent thinkers and writers. It seemed like most of them had passed through some sort of strong emotional experiences that spurred their creativity.
I'm not saying that I'm the next Picasso or Hemmingway but I feel like, in some way, I can relate to their desire to have their voice heard.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
New life...new habits
Quite a bit has changed for me. My priorities have changed and have allowed me to restructure my free time. As I write, I am currently involved in a 4 hour fantasy football draft. This has been a great opportunity to rediscover old hobbies and potentially explore new interests. Relatively new changes include:
- Yoga- A suprisingly relaxing option at the local, Bohemian Sikh temple. It's also worth noting that there is no dearth of pretty girls.
- Gym- I now have the time, and certainly the motivation, to get into peak shape. I way what I did in high school and I feel like I'm in the best shape in years.
- Tennis- Always loved the sport; why not get better at it?
- Travel- Going to Austin for City Limits next week. Just got back from Utah, DC, California, and Charlotte.
- Music- Been listening to some great tunes lately. Elf Power, Guillemots, Beth Orton, etc....all good stuff.
- Music Making- I've always been casually interested in recording stuff. This is my chance. I'm really proud of some of the stuff I've created so far.
- Church- Great chance to be of more service.
- Dating- Been an interesting ride thus far.
- Reading- Have an ever expanding library. Lots to get to...
Friday, August 04, 2006
A new day....a new life
I have been conspicuously absent from my blog for the past several months. This absence wasn't due to wontful neglect or busyness but, rather, due to an unbelievably difficult set of circumstances that I was passing through. This "baptism" of sorts consumed my life, hope, and soul for the better part of the last 9 months. It something that has taken me to the very brink of utter despair but also lifted me up to a new plain of perspective and understanding.
The selfish actions of my ex-wife changed just about everything I was accustomed to. I no longer live in the same house. I no longer am a father. I no longer have the warm embrace of a wife. I no longer have all of the those "warm comforts" that accompany the middle ages of ones life. The first part of this experience was spent trying to grasp to certainty...the last part was spent trying to cope with the realities of my new uncertainty.
I now feel like I have passed through the darkest throes of this harrowing journey and that I can begin to adopt certain aspects of my previous life. I am adopting to a new life as a single man. I am trying and experiencing new things. I am reclaiming certain vestiges of normalcy...things such as this blog.
I have gained valuable insights into the human condition. I have risen and continue to rise from the ashes like the great Phoenix. I am forging a new path for my life and creating new circumstances. I am the ultimate arbiter of my success or failure. I look forward to the challenge ahead. I am reclaiming my blog as one of the means in which I document this journey.
Keep the faith.
The selfish actions of my ex-wife changed just about everything I was accustomed to. I no longer live in the same house. I no longer am a father. I no longer have the warm embrace of a wife. I no longer have all of the those "warm comforts" that accompany the middle ages of ones life. The first part of this experience was spent trying to grasp to certainty...the last part was spent trying to cope with the realities of my new uncertainty.
I now feel like I have passed through the darkest throes of this harrowing journey and that I can begin to adopt certain aspects of my previous life. I am adopting to a new life as a single man. I am trying and experiencing new things. I am reclaiming certain vestiges of normalcy...things such as this blog.
I have gained valuable insights into the human condition. I have risen and continue to rise from the ashes like the great Phoenix. I am forging a new path for my life and creating new circumstances. I am the ultimate arbiter of my success or failure. I look forward to the challenge ahead. I am reclaiming my blog as one of the means in which I document this journey.
Keep the faith.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Perspective
I'm learning a lot about perspective these days. I'm also learning a lot about the circumstances or events that take place that usually lead one to think about something like perspective. Unfortunately perspective is something that not many people seek. It seems like life is in typically in charge of deciding when we are ready to evaluate our station or position along the journey. Such has been the case with me.
The events of the last several weeks have been beyond my control. Unfortunately I cannot avoid these events. Fortunately I can learn from these events. It feels to me that perspective is the positive result of responding to a challenge in the right way. When we are dealt a difficult hand we can either look inward, seek pity, and lament our condition our we can look inward, ask why, and seek to discover what can be learned. Life is a schoolmaster... it would be a big shame if we did not look at it from that perspective.
The events of the last several weeks have been beyond my control. Unfortunately I cannot avoid these events. Fortunately I can learn from these events. It feels to me that perspective is the positive result of responding to a challenge in the right way. When we are dealt a difficult hand we can either look inward, seek pity, and lament our condition our we can look inward, ask why, and seek to discover what can be learned. Life is a schoolmaster... it would be a big shame if we did not look at it from that perspective.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Reality Bites
This evening I decided to rededicate myself to cardiovascular fitness through an evening jog. No big deal, right? I mean, I play basketball once a week and I walk my dog faitfully every morning. I've always seemed to have the energy when I needed it so a reinstitution of a simple jog should be no problem....................................well, time and slothful living can do a lot to a middle aged body.
I probably made it 5/6th of a mile before I was winded. Exhausted to the point of where my throat was tingly and I felt like vomiting. My legs wobbled as a feebly tried to wave to my neighbors, hoping to convince that I was just wrapping up a long jog and not passing out after a short one. I arrived home ready to cry, my road to physical well being just got a lot longer and considerably bumpier.
Up until I was about 25 exercise was very easy. I didn't need to condition myself I just went out and played. My friends and I were so active that we didn't have to pay close attention to small and meaningless things such as diet or sleep. Everything changed about 5 months into my marriage. We were at a friends wedding. While dancing I noticed that some strange soft substance on my sides prevented me from experiencing a full range of motion. I had started to grow sides, I was getting fat.
Since then I have been in fitness limbo. My appearance is changing to the point of taking action but the fact that I can still do things keeps me believing that no real action is necessary. Well I might be reaching a crossroads. Changes need to be made. Tough decisions need to be taken when dining out. Dedication is needed in the form of regular exercise. It's no longer a matter of exercising to have fun it's become exercising to keep from getting fat and becoming a poster child for heart diesease.
I better cut this entry short, I've got a night cap with the floor. I still need to do 50 more pushups.
I probably made it 5/6th of a mile before I was winded. Exhausted to the point of where my throat was tingly and I felt like vomiting. My legs wobbled as a feebly tried to wave to my neighbors, hoping to convince that I was just wrapping up a long jog and not passing out after a short one. I arrived home ready to cry, my road to physical well being just got a lot longer and considerably bumpier.
Up until I was about 25 exercise was very easy. I didn't need to condition myself I just went out and played. My friends and I were so active that we didn't have to pay close attention to small and meaningless things such as diet or sleep. Everything changed about 5 months into my marriage. We were at a friends wedding. While dancing I noticed that some strange soft substance on my sides prevented me from experiencing a full range of motion. I had started to grow sides, I was getting fat.
Since then I have been in fitness limbo. My appearance is changing to the point of taking action but the fact that I can still do things keeps me believing that no real action is necessary. Well I might be reaching a crossroads. Changes need to be made. Tough decisions need to be taken when dining out. Dedication is needed in the form of regular exercise. It's no longer a matter of exercising to have fun it's become exercising to keep from getting fat and becoming a poster child for heart diesease.
I better cut this entry short, I've got a night cap with the floor. I still need to do 50 more pushups.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
The Baby Blessing
Today was a day that will not soon be forgotten. In the presence of our parents and ward family I was able to give Alexandra her baby blessing. It was quite an overwhelming feeling, I was very nervous for the first time in several months. To think of the responsibility that I have as a father to bless and care for a little beautiful baby.
Alexandra was dressed in a beautiful white, frilly dress that extended well past her little legs. She was an angel and reverently sat through the whole blessing and meeting. The blessing itself was a singular experience. My heart was so full and my mind was racing so fast that I don't think that I adequately conveyed my feelings. But the spirit of the act and the support of friends and family helped buoy my inadequate toungue. I take comfort in knowing that the Lord knows my heart and understood what I was trying to say.
I have spent countless hours thinking about how I am going to help Alex to fulfill what was stated in her blessing. We are to be her nurturers, her teachers, her friend, her providers. The Lord has made us stewards over the most precious thing in world; we must respond by taking our stewardship seriously. This blessing is just the first in many critical steps that we are going to be part of in the life of Alexandra Jean Jensen.
Alexandra was dressed in a beautiful white, frilly dress that extended well past her little legs. She was an angel and reverently sat through the whole blessing and meeting. The blessing itself was a singular experience. My heart was so full and my mind was racing so fast that I don't think that I adequately conveyed my feelings. But the spirit of the act and the support of friends and family helped buoy my inadequate toungue. I take comfort in knowing that the Lord knows my heart and understood what I was trying to say.
I have spent countless hours thinking about how I am going to help Alex to fulfill what was stated in her blessing. We are to be her nurturers, her teachers, her friend, her providers. The Lord has made us stewards over the most precious thing in world; we must respond by taking our stewardship seriously. This blessing is just the first in many critical steps that we are going to be part of in the life of Alexandra Jean Jensen.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Randomizer Volume III Series I
Halloween- Another unnecessary holiday. But I suppose if it gets we an extra long lunch break on a Friday afternoon for a costume party then it can't be all that bad. There are some people that really get into the whole costume thing. Part of me wouldn't mind being a Roman legionaire or Mariachi but the other part just doesn't want to make the effort. For this years parties I was Rocky, a Doctor, and a Canadian. It's amazing what a little creativity and a thorough search of ones closet can create.
Football- My resolve to minimize my Sunday football was stretched and broken today. I figured I spent a good 3 hours listening to the sweet strains of pads crunching and Troy Aikman. This is going to be a hard habit to break. There has to be a way that I can satisfy my football cravings
without destroying the spirit of the Sabbath.
Saturday- There's a certain sense of satisfaction that comes with a hard days work on ones own house. Yesterday I employed the services of the rug doctor and really went to town on my carpet. It is amazing the amount of dirt that those machines can pull out, I will never lay on the ground again. We want to get the house nice and clean before the arrival of our parents this week, so far the place is looking pretty good.
Thought Magnitude- I frequently visit the blogs of several of my friends. The level of discussion and thought really blow me away, I feel like such a simpleton. Every day it seems like there is thought provoking commentary on current events, philosophy, or gospel principles. I haven't really conditioned myself for that kind of critical thinking since college, quite a shame. Right now my level of interest and understanding of most critical subjects is superficial and goes no deeper then a quick glance at the latest news source. I have selected a couple of pet topics, such as immigration reform for example, but have I given the requisite time and thought to the subject to really be conversant?
Football- My resolve to minimize my Sunday football was stretched and broken today. I figured I spent a good 3 hours listening to the sweet strains of pads crunching and Troy Aikman. This is going to be a hard habit to break. There has to be a way that I can satisfy my football cravings
without destroying the spirit of the Sabbath.
Saturday- There's a certain sense of satisfaction that comes with a hard days work on ones own house. Yesterday I employed the services of the rug doctor and really went to town on my carpet. It is amazing the amount of dirt that those machines can pull out, I will never lay on the ground again. We want to get the house nice and clean before the arrival of our parents this week, so far the place is looking pretty good.
Thought Magnitude- I frequently visit the blogs of several of my friends. The level of discussion and thought really blow me away, I feel like such a simpleton. Every day it seems like there is thought provoking commentary on current events, philosophy, or gospel principles. I haven't really conditioned myself for that kind of critical thinking since college, quite a shame. Right now my level of interest and understanding of most critical subjects is superficial and goes no deeper then a quick glance at the latest news source. I have selected a couple of pet topics, such as immigration reform for example, but have I given the requisite time and thought to the subject to really be conversant?
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Sunday Thoughts
It's Sunday evening and instead of laying in bed and trying to satisfy myself with whatever cable television has on, most likely weekend stalwarts such as Die Hard or Speed, I opted to spend some quiet time in the office. Sunday is a day of peace and reflection and sometimes I feel like I let the tv get in the way.
Today was a good day. I was able to spend alot of time with Alexandra. She is really starting to show some personality and is now smiling rather liberally. I was also able to spend some good time preparing my Sunday School lesson the importance of families. Church was good, the usual Sunday lineup of high council speakers was broken up with a missionary homecoming. Dinner was a very tasty and tender pot roast, venerable american sunday tradition. We even had one of our good friends over. All of these things are what make Sundays the most enjoyable day of the week.
Now I can quietly read and get myself ready for another week. I still think I can get more out of my Sundays but I am happy at the progress that has been made. I don't give myself enough time like this, truly a shame. The best thoughts and moments of learning come at quiet times when one is free from the distractions of every day life. Thats why I need to take Sunday observance more importantly, I don't want to rob myself of these benefits.
Today was a good day. I was able to spend alot of time with Alexandra. She is really starting to show some personality and is now smiling rather liberally. I was also able to spend some good time preparing my Sunday School lesson the importance of families. Church was good, the usual Sunday lineup of high council speakers was broken up with a missionary homecoming. Dinner was a very tasty and tender pot roast, venerable american sunday tradition. We even had one of our good friends over. All of these things are what make Sundays the most enjoyable day of the week.
Now I can quietly read and get myself ready for another week. I still think I can get more out of my Sundays but I am happy at the progress that has been made. I don't give myself enough time like this, truly a shame. The best thoughts and moments of learning come at quiet times when one is free from the distractions of every day life. Thats why I need to take Sunday observance more importantly, I don't want to rob myself of these benefits.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Finding our passion
I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker today at lunch, one that has got me thinking. It basically revolved around job satisfaction and what kept us in our current positions. We both argreed that it is pointless and futile to pursue a job in which you don't enjoy. We spend too many hours in our work to waste it on something that doesn't produce an honest degree of satisfaction. A great job is one that has you thinking about it even after you have come home.
Based on that criteria, I think I am failing. I either need to give my job a more honest effort or quit, refusing to act would be a disservice to both me and my employer. In all honesty there are some good opportunities to get involved. While the products of the company and the industry it serves aren't the most captivating to me there are still opportunities to utilize the skills I obtained as an MBA. If after 3-5 months of honest effort things don't change than it might be time to move on. It should be as simple as that.
Based on that criteria, I think I am failing. I either need to give my job a more honest effort or quit, refusing to act would be a disservice to both me and my employer. In all honesty there are some good opportunities to get involved. While the products of the company and the industry it serves aren't the most captivating to me there are still opportunities to utilize the skills I obtained as an MBA. If after 3-5 months of honest effort things don't change than it might be time to move on. It should be as simple as that.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Good Dad/Bad Dad
Words cannot express my love for my daughter. Her presence has brought an immense joy into our life that money, words, or accolades cannot match. But there are strings attached to this joy, mainly a complete restructuring of our once comfortable lifestyle and a trial of our patience.
Every now and again Alexandra will get in a sour mood. There is certain protocol that is to be followed to calm her down. This usually consists of music, various types of rocking, and routine and it typically works 90% of the time. But there is the rare occasion where none of this will work and she her cries will grow increasingly loud and desperate. My patience grows thin with each passing minute until it is on the verge of snapping. What should I do here?
My first inclination would be to calmly set her in the crib or rocker and walk away. She can cry herself to sleep. I have, afterall, done everything humanly possible to assuage her infant pains. My wife typically doesn't agree with this approach and is an advocate of waiting out her cries, however long they should last. So am I bad dad for knowing when to set her down? Should I rush in every time she starts to whine? I am torn and am trying to find a middle ground between abandoning my baby girl and over pampering her. Maybe additional thought or one of my wise friends will help me deal with this.
Every now and again Alexandra will get in a sour mood. There is certain protocol that is to be followed to calm her down. This usually consists of music, various types of rocking, and routine and it typically works 90% of the time. But there is the rare occasion where none of this will work and she her cries will grow increasingly loud and desperate. My patience grows thin with each passing minute until it is on the verge of snapping. What should I do here?
My first inclination would be to calmly set her in the crib or rocker and walk away. She can cry herself to sleep. I have, afterall, done everything humanly possible to assuage her infant pains. My wife typically doesn't agree with this approach and is an advocate of waiting out her cries, however long they should last. So am I bad dad for knowing when to set her down? Should I rush in every time she starts to whine? I am torn and am trying to find a middle ground between abandoning my baby girl and over pampering her. Maybe additional thought or one of my wise friends will help me deal with this.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Born at the wrong time
One thing, possibly the only thing, that I like about business travel is that I can select a good book to keep me company. The latest selection is "A war like no other" by Victor Davis Hanson. It edged out "Theodore Rex" and "1776". It details the Peloponessian War and its application to the complex world that we face today.
The book is very exhaustive in its coverage and offers the best details of the war and its strategies this side of Thucycides. Hanson has a very strong background in both military and greek history. He makes a strong case in comparing ancient Athens to the current United States. While both nations were not perfect they did create systems that engendered a degree of resentment with their neighbors. Athens- with its democracy, prosperity, culture, and pomp- elicited the ire and jealousy of Sparta, Corinth, Euboea, and others- the same way that the US has done in the past half century. While the war was relatively small, when one looks at the number of people involved, it serves as a strong historical microcosm from which we can learn various things. Evidently this long and drawn out war is one of the most studied chapters of military history.
While I am only 100 pages into the book I am very much into it. I have been reading much about the ancient Greek and Roman societies lately. I must say that everything that I admire about the Romans can actually be attributed to the Greeks. Their finest moments and achievements were built on the foundation that the Greeks left behind. In reading a biography on Cicero I quickly learned that all of the greatest Roman thinkers were trained and followed the tenets led out by their older neighbors across the Adriatic.
Something else that I have found interesting. All of the great names that we associate with Classical Greece lived in the tumultuous 30 year Peloponnesian war. While the Spartans and Athenians were mired in war, figures like Socrates, Pericles, and Aristophanes were thriving. It's hard to think that highest moments of Greek achievement were couched between the Persian invasion and the Peloponnesian war.
Anyways, back to the present day and my present concerns... Namely trying to figure out why Alexandra won't stop crying.
The book is very exhaustive in its coverage and offers the best details of the war and its strategies this side of Thucycides. Hanson has a very strong background in both military and greek history. He makes a strong case in comparing ancient Athens to the current United States. While both nations were not perfect they did create systems that engendered a degree of resentment with their neighbors. Athens- with its democracy, prosperity, culture, and pomp- elicited the ire and jealousy of Sparta, Corinth, Euboea, and others- the same way that the US has done in the past half century. While the war was relatively small, when one looks at the number of people involved, it serves as a strong historical microcosm from which we can learn various things. Evidently this long and drawn out war is one of the most studied chapters of military history.
While I am only 100 pages into the book I am very much into it. I have been reading much about the ancient Greek and Roman societies lately. I must say that everything that I admire about the Romans can actually be attributed to the Greeks. Their finest moments and achievements were built on the foundation that the Greeks left behind. In reading a biography on Cicero I quickly learned that all of the greatest Roman thinkers were trained and followed the tenets led out by their older neighbors across the Adriatic.
Something else that I have found interesting. All of the great names that we associate with Classical Greece lived in the tumultuous 30 year Peloponnesian war. While the Spartans and Athenians were mired in war, figures like Socrates, Pericles, and Aristophanes were thriving. It's hard to think that highest moments of Greek achievement were couched between the Persian invasion and the Peloponnesian war.
Anyways, back to the present day and my present concerns... Namely trying to figure out why Alexandra won't stop crying.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
The Sunday Dilemma
The NFL is my favorite sport/league. It has been ever since the Jazz faded into oblivion. But my love for this sport has never really had a chance to blossom. Why? Sunday football. As long as games are played on Sunday I will always watch with a strong feeling of guilt.
Sunday's are designed to be a respite from the day to day grind of work and life. If executed properly a Sunday allows one to relax, regain perspective, and refuel for another week. Family time, quiet thought, church, and relaxation are key ingredients for this to happen. Through in the NFL into the mix and the whole cake gets half baked. Do you get my dilemma?
So what usually happens is that I will go to church and prepare my lessons but my thoughts will be on how the Cowboys are performing. Hence I will be "going the motions" on both things. I can't really get into the season; but more importantly, I am short changing myself of the benefits associated with proper Sabbath observance.
As I really dissected my love for football I realized something. Most of my interest in the sport peaks in the obsession. This is attributed to the fact that I can control the time I give to the sport and can avoid Sunday watching. Plus, every team has a chance when everyone's record is 0-0.
Anyways, I am at an interesting crossroads. I know what direction I need to take but I regret having to say goodbye to to a life long friend. I am afraid that I will demote myself to a casual NFL fan in order to regain the real blessings of Sunday.
Sunday's are designed to be a respite from the day to day grind of work and life. If executed properly a Sunday allows one to relax, regain perspective, and refuel for another week. Family time, quiet thought, church, and relaxation are key ingredients for this to happen. Through in the NFL into the mix and the whole cake gets half baked. Do you get my dilemma?
So what usually happens is that I will go to church and prepare my lessons but my thoughts will be on how the Cowboys are performing. Hence I will be "going the motions" on both things. I can't really get into the season; but more importantly, I am short changing myself of the benefits associated with proper Sabbath observance.
As I really dissected my love for football I realized something. Most of my interest in the sport peaks in the obsession. This is attributed to the fact that I can control the time I give to the sport and can avoid Sunday watching. Plus, every team has a chance when everyone's record is 0-0.
Anyways, I am at an interesting crossroads. I know what direction I need to take but I regret having to say goodbye to to a life long friend. I am afraid that I will demote myself to a casual NFL fan in order to regain the real blessings of Sunday.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Alternative Fuels?
The most recent spike in gas prices has me wondering if the perpetual increases will ever stop. I, like many, am almost to the point where I am going to seriously alter the way that I drive. Upon initial consideration it appears absurd that we haven't either come up with commercially viable alternative ways to power vehicles or come up with better long term strategies for gas consumption. I keep hearing the argument that to make an across the board change to another fuel would be impossible. We would need to completely overhaul our infrastructure, our cars, etc... Nothing short of a JFK moon vision, they say, will change this.
If the biggest obstacle to change is the fact that we are so far along the gasoline path, why don't we explore other types of consumption in developing nations like China and India. I don't think that they have the massive infrastructure dedicated to gasoline that we do and as they develop why don't they do it with the myriad options that supposedly are out there? I imagine that I am really simplifying the issue but is it even being considered. If you haven't already sunk so much into a dated and infinite resource such as gas wouldn't you want to explore other cheaper and cleaner alternatives?
I know that this would cause headaches such as having machines that are compatible with both types of fuels, dealing with the oil cartels, getting everyone to buy in etc... but I don't think that they are insurmountable. I guess I'm just sick of hearing about all of these great alternative fuels and not seeing anything done about it. China or India would be great places to test them.
Meanwhile in the time that it took me to post this rant gas prices have increased $.03.
If the biggest obstacle to change is the fact that we are so far along the gasoline path, why don't we explore other types of consumption in developing nations like China and India. I don't think that they have the massive infrastructure dedicated to gasoline that we do and as they develop why don't they do it with the myriad options that supposedly are out there? I imagine that I am really simplifying the issue but is it even being considered. If you haven't already sunk so much into a dated and infinite resource such as gas wouldn't you want to explore other cheaper and cleaner alternatives?
I know that this would cause headaches such as having machines that are compatible with both types of fuels, dealing with the oil cartels, getting everyone to buy in etc... but I don't think that they are insurmountable. I guess I'm just sick of hearing about all of these great alternative fuels and not seeing anything done about it. China or India would be great places to test them.
Meanwhile in the time that it took me to post this rant gas prices have increased $.03.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
A moment to catch my breath
Shelley and the baby are out of town for a few days which means I get to recuperate some of the lost sleep from the last few weeks. I've never been so excited to go to bed at 9pm. Their absence will also give me a chance to catch up in other things, namely yard work, errands, and reading. My weekend is booked exclusively with things that I want to do, imagine that.
The past few weeks have taught me the importance of establishing a routine with your newborn. A routine provides stability and structure. Our most frustrating moments have come when Alex has broken from the norm.
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I have very mixed feelings about the hurricane. On one hand my heart goes out to the people whose lives have been temporarily or permanently devasted by the storm. I am comforted by the outpouring of assistance and aid that has come. On the other hand I am appalled at the general lawlessness that is taking place in certain quarters. People not looting grocery stores for necessities but stealing guns and appliances. Police having to focus on maintaining the peace when they should be performing rescues. Another example how tragedies can bring out the best in most people and the worst in others. I guess you can tell a lot about a community/person/nation by how they respond to adversity. I hate to see the reputation of New Orleans tarnished because of the actions of a few.
The past few weeks have taught me the importance of establishing a routine with your newborn. A routine provides stability and structure. Our most frustrating moments have come when Alex has broken from the norm.
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I have very mixed feelings about the hurricane. On one hand my heart goes out to the people whose lives have been temporarily or permanently devasted by the storm. I am comforted by the outpouring of assistance and aid that has come. On the other hand I am appalled at the general lawlessness that is taking place in certain quarters. People not looting grocery stores for necessities but stealing guns and appliances. Police having to focus on maintaining the peace when they should be performing rescues. Another example how tragedies can bring out the best in most people and the worst in others. I guess you can tell a lot about a community/person/nation by how they respond to adversity. I hate to see the reputation of New Orleans tarnished because of the actions of a few.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Baby Thoughts
We've had the baby now for almost three weeks and I must confess that she dominates my thoughts and efforts. Soon enough I'll have time to devote to other matters but right now I am relishing fatherhood. A few thoughts that I've had over the past couple of weeks.
- Life really hasn't changed as much as many people said it would. The only real alterations are an adjustment to my sleeping patterns, less tv, and a more conscience effort to maintain patience. At this stage we are basically just feeding, holding, and changing her. The real changes and challenges, I feel, will come in a few years when we will see how well she responds on her own to our teaching. That is a couple of years away and in the meantime I will enjoy the sweet and simple joy that comes with holding your baby girl.
- Bowel movements. There have been a couple of times when I have just completed a changing and within 30 seconds of picking her up I feel an explosion between her legs. Man, kid's today have no scruples. I'm starting to wonder if there is away to get more mileage out of diapers. All in all I don't mind changing diapers, right now they smell almost like a bakery. Things will probably change once they start eating chicken nuggets.
- We have been in public enough to receive advice and tips from a variety of different sources. This started at early pregnancy and evidently carries over through the growth of the baby. One thing I've learned is that there is more then one way to successfully care for a baby. I've probably heard 15 different opinions on when you should feed a baby and I bet that 13 of them would probably work.
- Alexandra is a sharp and alert girl. When she is awake, which is happening more and more, she loves to make eye contact and look around. She loves to wiggle and can already flip over. She also has the most powerful little mouth. I have a new found respect for breast feeding.
- More thoughts to come...
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
The Birth Announcement
Announcing the birth of Alexandra Jean Jensen
On a humid Phoenix afternoon, 3:29pm on August 1, 2005 to be exact, the heavens opened and the stork dropped off a miraculous package in the form of a little girl named Alexandra. The prenatal journey, the one that included random bits of advice from strangers and plenty of back aches, has given way to the spectacular adventure called life.
She initially weighed in at 7lbs 2ozs and 20 inches but those numbers seem to vary depending on the size of her diaper. She very much enjoys to wiggle around and confuse her days from her nights. She has a generous helping of beautiful dark hair compliments of Ryan, Kaysville’s 1976 recipient for the hairiest kid award. She also has the most gorgeous and penetrating eyes.
Being parents has created a lot of exciting and strange changes; we are now considering trading in our Outback for a Honda Odyssey. We couldn’t be any happier and we are very excited, and a tad nervous, for the journey that awaits us as parents.
We wanted to briefly notify you of the news and, fulfilling our role as “proud parents”, send you a couple of photos of our beautiful little gal.
Enjoy,
Ryan and Shelley Jensen
On a humid Phoenix afternoon, 3:29pm on August 1, 2005 to be exact, the heavens opened and the stork dropped off a miraculous package in the form of a little girl named Alexandra. The prenatal journey, the one that included random bits of advice from strangers and plenty of back aches, has given way to the spectacular adventure called life.
She initially weighed in at 7lbs 2ozs and 20 inches but those numbers seem to vary depending on the size of her diaper. She very much enjoys to wiggle around and confuse her days from her nights. She has a generous helping of beautiful dark hair compliments of Ryan, Kaysville’s 1976 recipient for the hairiest kid award. She also has the most gorgeous and penetrating eyes.
Being parents has created a lot of exciting and strange changes; we are now considering trading in our Outback for a Honda Odyssey. We couldn’t be any happier and we are very excited, and a tad nervous, for the journey that awaits us as parents.
We wanted to briefly notify you of the news and, fulfilling our role as “proud parents”, send you a couple of photos of our beautiful little gal.
Enjoy,
Ryan and Shelley Jensen
Thursday, August 04, 2005
The grand arrival
Alexandra Jean JensenAugust 1, 2005
The day finally arrived. The prenatal journey has ended and the grand adventure called life has just begun. After three days in the hospital we were able to introduce Alexandra to her new home. Quite a feeling.
Right now I feel an abosulute sense of being overwhelmed. I am now caretaker over the most precious thing in our lives. I am very much committed to being the best father she could of received. No acheivement, award, or accolade can even come close to comparing to the simple majesty that exists in raising a family.
I look forward, in the coming weeks, to documenting how Alexandra changes our lives and helps to refine our eternal perspective. I also look forward to spending countless hours looking into her eyes and bragging about her to my friends.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Those lovable penguins
We recently saw "The march of the penguins", a national geographic movie detailing the lives of the Emperor Penguins of Anarctica. It was suprising that we were going to the movies to see something that we probably wouldn't watch on TV. What was even more suprising was that we were greeted with a completely full theatre. All in all we were pleasantly suprised.
What distinguished this from any other special on national geographic was the supreme story telling. The story and music helped us understand their lives on our terms and it made us very much interested in them. You take away the narration and nobody cares. By the end of the show you were completely in love with the penguin and in awe of the sacrifices that they make in order to keep their species going.
As we walked out we couldn't help but do grateful for this type of movie. We hope that this starts a trend and that we can see these kind of shows on a regular basis. We would much rather take our kids to see something that has some educational value than the mindless CGI eye candy that most kids love.
What distinguished this from any other special on national geographic was the supreme story telling. The story and music helped us understand their lives on our terms and it made us very much interested in them. You take away the narration and nobody cares. By the end of the show you were completely in love with the penguin and in awe of the sacrifices that they make in order to keep their species going.
As we walked out we couldn't help but do grateful for this type of movie. We hope that this starts a trend and that we can see these kind of shows on a regular basis. We would much rather take our kids to see something that has some educational value than the mindless CGI eye candy that most kids love.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Books...I almost forgot about those things.
We just got back from a pleasant dinner and trip to the local bookstore. While wading through the sea of kids dressed as Harry Potter- the 6th book comes out tomorrow I'm told- I was able to discover a long lost friend, the book. Reading was something that I'd do voraciously while growing up but something that has become more of a casual hobby as of late.
I wouldn't say that I'm a beer bellied TV watching ignoramus but I have to admit that my thirst for education through the written word has somewhat waned. While pouring over numerous interesting titles I had a feeling of guilt. Sometimes I'll come home from work and force myself to watch summer reruns of shows that aren't even entertaining or close to being worthwhile. I've lost that discipline that I once had as a kid to find an interesting book and see it through to the last page.
So I decided to take a stand right there in aisle number 3. I purchased a book on the Roman great, Cicero, and didn't look back. I'm already through the first 30 pages and I'm gaining momentum with each successive chapter. The satisfaction achieved through reading and learning is tenfold over most mundane activity. How sad and dull would be if I didn't take the time or effort to understand this world and its inhabitants. Books are that opportunity. I'm a fool for ever neglecting their inviting pages.
I wouldn't say that I'm a beer bellied TV watching ignoramus but I have to admit that my thirst for education through the written word has somewhat waned. While pouring over numerous interesting titles I had a feeling of guilt. Sometimes I'll come home from work and force myself to watch summer reruns of shows that aren't even entertaining or close to being worthwhile. I've lost that discipline that I once had as a kid to find an interesting book and see it through to the last page.
So I decided to take a stand right there in aisle number 3. I purchased a book on the Roman great, Cicero, and didn't look back. I'm already through the first 30 pages and I'm gaining momentum with each successive chapter. The satisfaction achieved through reading and learning is tenfold over most mundane activity. How sad and dull would be if I didn't take the time or effort to understand this world and its inhabitants. Books are that opportunity. I'm a fool for ever neglecting their inviting pages.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Anxiously Waiting
The 8 month pregancy journey has been equal parts exhilaration and anxiety. The gig is up and we are very ready to have our baby girl in our arms. We've reached the point were additional classes, opinions, and readings provide little more in terms of added benefits. There is one thing that can't be taught and that is parental instinct.
I'm sick of hearing opinions. They come from everyone and from any where. I've learned that there are many ways to deliver and raise a baby and none of them is absolutely right. We know our circumstances and we can tailor the best approach for our family. I'm sick of reading books. It's no fun looking at pictures and reading about things when you don't have a baby available to put them to the test. I'm sick of seeing Shelley in a constant state of uncomfort. She has been very patient up to this point but her resolve is weakening. I'm sick of going into our baby room and not having a baby girl to pick up.
I can't verbally emphasize how anxious we are. We are counting down the hours. If we have to wait any longer I might just have to reach up there and pull her out myself. Gar, do you feel the same?
I'm sick of hearing opinions. They come from everyone and from any where. I've learned that there are many ways to deliver and raise a baby and none of them is absolutely right. We know our circumstances and we can tailor the best approach for our family. I'm sick of reading books. It's no fun looking at pictures and reading about things when you don't have a baby available to put them to the test. I'm sick of seeing Shelley in a constant state of uncomfort. She has been very patient up to this point but her resolve is weakening. I'm sick of going into our baby room and not having a baby girl to pick up.
I can't verbally emphasize how anxious we are. We are counting down the hours. If we have to wait any longer I might just have to reach up there and pull her out myself. Gar, do you feel the same?
Friday, July 01, 2005
Swimming through the ambiguity
I've just completed my first month of employment at my new job. So far my initial impressions are mixed. There are alot of good and mediocre things about this company. First, I very much enjoy the entreprenuerial culture that exists here. This is a small and growing company and opportunities abound. But at the same time there is a drag in efficiency and a potential lack of direction. We are, for example, very good at launching innovative new products. But, however, we don't do a good job of managing them once they are in the market. So instead of milking product X for all of its profit potential it languishes in uncertainty because the attention has been turned to the next thing.
Anyways, back to me. From the get go my job was very ambiguous. I was told that I would be the sales/marketing analyst. Beyond that, my job description was anyones guess. This is the first such position at Xyron so there is no precedent or procedure. So my first month has been spent, not only trying to become familar with the company and its culture, it has also been spent trying to create goals and provide structure to my position. I am starting to get a good grasp on the business, the next few weeks will tell if I will be able to truly structure my position to the point where I can really add value to the company.
But in the end it all comes down to me and how proactive I am. Excelling at these qualities, I have found, seperates the wheat from the chaff.
Anyways, back to me. From the get go my job was very ambiguous. I was told that I would be the sales/marketing analyst. Beyond that, my job description was anyones guess. This is the first such position at Xyron so there is no precedent or procedure. So my first month has been spent, not only trying to become familar with the company and its culture, it has also been spent trying to create goals and provide structure to my position. I am starting to get a good grasp on the business, the next few weeks will tell if I will be able to truly structure my position to the point where I can really add value to the company.
But in the end it all comes down to me and how proactive I am. Excelling at these qualities, I have found, seperates the wheat from the chaff.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Seeing the future through the eyes of a little girl
My new job has me on the road more often, the whole "road warrior" attraction is way over rated. I was in Dallas for a one day meeting. Naturally 60% of the time was spent traveling and maybe 15% to the actual order of business. Anyways, that gave me a lot of time to hang out in airports and airplanes. An incident on my evening flight back to Phoenix struck a very strong chord with me and gave me a glimpse into my future role as a father.
I as I was boarding the plane I noticed a Hispanic family. Their lack of English proficiency was evident as they struggled to get through the gate. I came to their aid and helped them out, communicating to the stewardess their needs and helping them get seats next to each other. The father was very grateful and he quickly introduced me to his wife and beautiful young daughter. I soon found out that they were from the Honduras and that they were visiting family in Phoenix. Well, we all boarded the plane and, as luck would have it, I was assigned a seat directly behind them.
The flight took off and the first hour was pretty uneventful. I was trying to do some reading when I noticed a small pair of eyes staring at me, it was the little hindering girl. I quickly met her glance with a smile and we were soon making faces at each other. This continued for the next several minutes. Her mom noticed and gave us a warm smile. Soon as was sharing some candy with her and we talked. She told me a little about her family and her city. She had the most beautiful smile that made the flight worthwhile.
At the end of the flight I couldn't help but think about our upcoming baby girl. In a few months I will be experiencing a joy that will make this airplane encounter pale in comparison. I will be the father to a beautiful baby girl. I cannot wait to forge a bound with her and provide her with the guidance she will need. That little playful girl from the Honduras gave me a small glimpse of the bliss and joy that comes with raising kids. That kind of happiness is immeasurable and cannot come from any other source.
I as I was boarding the plane I noticed a Hispanic family. Their lack of English proficiency was evident as they struggled to get through the gate. I came to their aid and helped them out, communicating to the stewardess their needs and helping them get seats next to each other. The father was very grateful and he quickly introduced me to his wife and beautiful young daughter. I soon found out that they were from the Honduras and that they were visiting family in Phoenix. Well, we all boarded the plane and, as luck would have it, I was assigned a seat directly behind them.
The flight took off and the first hour was pretty uneventful. I was trying to do some reading when I noticed a small pair of eyes staring at me, it was the little hindering girl. I quickly met her glance with a smile and we were soon making faces at each other. This continued for the next several minutes. Her mom noticed and gave us a warm smile. Soon as was sharing some candy with her and we talked. She told me a little about her family and her city. She had the most beautiful smile that made the flight worthwhile.
At the end of the flight I couldn't help but think about our upcoming baby girl. In a few months I will be experiencing a joy that will make this airplane encounter pale in comparison. I will be the father to a beautiful baby girl. I cannot wait to forge a bound with her and provide her with the guidance she will need. That little playful girl from the Honduras gave me a small glimpse of the bliss and joy that comes with raising kids. That kind of happiness is immeasurable and cannot come from any other source.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Letting the destination come to you
This weekend Shelley and I had the chance to breakaway from the heat of Phoenix and spend some time in Bisbee, an old ghost town in the high foothills of southeast Arizona. It was once a thriving mining community, reportedly the largest city between San Francisco and St Louis at the turn of the century. Once the mines played out it was abandoned. But like many of the abandoned mining communities, it was later claimed by the counter culture. These hairy hippies, with the help of some enterprising historians, have turned Bisbee, and a few other ghost towns in the state, into quaint artistic, cultural, and historical places to visit.
We pulled in around 7:30pm. A intense thunderstorm and car wreck delayed our arrival by an hour. We chose to stay in a bed and breakfast, one time mansion of some big wig at Phelps Dodge. It was pretty dark so we spent our evening in the well lit part of the old down town. After an nouveau italian dinner, something you'd expect in Park City or Sedona, we retired to our quiet place. Without TV we had to rely on, ghast, conversation and old back issues of "Arizona Highways" to pass the time.
Our morning was somewhat rushed. After a great Eggs Benedict breakfast Shelley's back started to act up. Our six hour itinerary turned into 45 minutes of browsing through shops on main street. We were soon on the road again, a scant 12 hours after arriving. While the visit was worthwhile, we didn't even stratch the surface of this place. Moving onto the opening statement that inspired this entry.
I'm guilty of "checklist traveling". I visit destinations merely for the joy of saying I've been there, another sticker to put on the bumper. I'm afraid that many other people our guilty of this practice. We pull over at the side of the road and take the 15 minute tour and all of the sudden we are experts of whatever place we are visiting and we get in the car and move to the next place. We all need to take a deep breath and let the trip come to us. There are myriad things to do in Bisbee, simple things that require alittle effort. Like most places, you can't truly visit Bisbee from the back seat of a car. You need to take a hike to view some of the rare bird species. You need to spend a couple of hours at a local cafe to observe the ecclectic and eccentric locals.
This trip we weren't able to do that. We saw enough of Bisbee to know that this is a place that we want to truly explore. Next time, when Shelley isn't 7 1/2 months pregnant, we will spend a few days and patiently let Bisbee come to us. That way we will have truly felt its charm.
We pulled in around 7:30pm. A intense thunderstorm and car wreck delayed our arrival by an hour. We chose to stay in a bed and breakfast, one time mansion of some big wig at Phelps Dodge. It was pretty dark so we spent our evening in the well lit part of the old down town. After an nouveau italian dinner, something you'd expect in Park City or Sedona, we retired to our quiet place. Without TV we had to rely on, ghast, conversation and old back issues of "Arizona Highways" to pass the time.
Our morning was somewhat rushed. After a great Eggs Benedict breakfast Shelley's back started to act up. Our six hour itinerary turned into 45 minutes of browsing through shops on main street. We were soon on the road again, a scant 12 hours after arriving. While the visit was worthwhile, we didn't even stratch the surface of this place. Moving onto the opening statement that inspired this entry.
I'm guilty of "checklist traveling". I visit destinations merely for the joy of saying I've been there, another sticker to put on the bumper. I'm afraid that many other people our guilty of this practice. We pull over at the side of the road and take the 15 minute tour and all of the sudden we are experts of whatever place we are visiting and we get in the car and move to the next place. We all need to take a deep breath and let the trip come to us. There are myriad things to do in Bisbee, simple things that require alittle effort. Like most places, you can't truly visit Bisbee from the back seat of a car. You need to take a hike to view some of the rare bird species. You need to spend a couple of hours at a local cafe to observe the ecclectic and eccentric locals.
This trip we weren't able to do that. We saw enough of Bisbee to know that this is a place that we want to truly explore. Next time, when Shelley isn't 7 1/2 months pregnant, we will spend a few days and patiently let Bisbee come to us. That way we will have truly felt its charm.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
The Quiet Peace of Assurance
This weekend I was able to procure employment that will truly take care of the needs of the family and allow Shelley the freedom to decide what she wants to do, careerwise, without the financial pressure of our needs. It truly is a good feeling.
I have roughly two weeks before I begin. That gives me two weeks to wrap up my project work, take care of house related errands, and truly enjoy the quiet of the neighborhood. While I have been working from home for the last 3 months, I don't think I had truly been able to enjoy or take advantage of my free time. Most of the time my idle or free thoughts were filled with anxiety and the job search. I could never truly enjoy simple pleasures because I was always wondering if there was something else I should be doing in my job search. I suppose my faith wasn't as strong as it could have been.
In contrast, the next few weeks will provide alot more freedom and opportunity. With my longer term prospects secure I can truly focus on other activities. I will spend some time this afternoon to learn how my camera works without being worried about how my resume looks. I expect to get alot done in this time and I only wish I had alittle more time.
I have roughly two weeks before I begin. That gives me two weeks to wrap up my project work, take care of house related errands, and truly enjoy the quiet of the neighborhood. While I have been working from home for the last 3 months, I don't think I had truly been able to enjoy or take advantage of my free time. Most of the time my idle or free thoughts were filled with anxiety and the job search. I could never truly enjoy simple pleasures because I was always wondering if there was something else I should be doing in my job search. I suppose my faith wasn't as strong as it could have been.
In contrast, the next few weeks will provide alot more freedom and opportunity. With my longer term prospects secure I can truly focus on other activities. I will spend some time this afternoon to learn how my camera works without being worried about how my resume looks. I expect to get alot done in this time and I only wish I had alittle more time.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
The Randomizer (Series II, Volume I)
- Last night we attended the Maroon 5 concert at the Cricket Pavillion. Evidently we are too old to like them. If I didn't know any better I would have thought we had mistakenly gone to a Back Street Boys show. There were scantilly clad 15 year old girls for as far as the eye could behold. It was as if every "O.C." watching girl in the valley was called for a meeting. I have to admit that all of the screaming and perfume tainted my image of the band. They are, however, pretty talented and they put on a good show.
- A thought related to the concert. I've observed that better musicians put on a far superior show. A very straightforward but true observation. There is no studio magic to hide behind, just your skills as musician. (An assumption that can easily be refuted given todays technological possibilities) Good bands are able to really expand and recreate their songs and give them new life while performed live. Other mediocre performers, Third Eye Blind comes to mind, are limited in the way that they can present their material. As a result, the live performance is lacking. By the way, I was pleasantly suprised by one of the opening acts. They are called the Thrills and are from Dublin. I will give them a look.
- A thought related to the concert. I've observed that better musicians put on a far superior show. A very straightforward but true observation. There is no studio magic to hide behind, just your skills as musician. (An assumption that can easily be refuted given todays technological possibilities) Good bands are able to really expand and recreate their songs and give them new life while performed live. Other mediocre performers, Third Eye Blind comes to mind, are limited in the way that they can present their material. As a result, the live performance is lacking. By the way, I was pleasantly suprised by one of the opening acts. They are called the Thrills and are from Dublin. I will give them a look.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Every troop has got one
One of my more enjoyable church callings is as a "scout volunteer". The calling was issued to help our fledgling troop and allow some of the younger married men in the ward to get out with the scouts. It's a great calling. We don't have to deal with most of the hellish work that occurs between trips, we just show up and provide support on selected camping trips. So far I have cherry picked upcoming trips to Southern Arizona and the Mogollan Rim.
Last week we (the leaders) went up to a local lake (Bartlett Lake) for an over night leadership training camp. The area captured the rare desert beauty that is native to Arizona. A small but clear lake encapsulated by rugged saguro covered hills. Anyways, the trip was enjoyable. We had great meals. We had skits. (The same ones that we all grew up with) We had meetings about the importance of our calling. And we hung out and talked.
It is in these informal conversations around the campfire that certain and more true personalities among friends are uncovered. This is a chance to really get to know your friends who you typically only see on Sundays. I left the trip with a several stronger friendships. I also left the trip having been mildly annoyed by a couple of people. Strangely enough their personality seems to be commonplace with all of the troops I have been associated with. Allow me to describe them.
They are the grisled middle aged men who most likely have served in the military. They have a strong sense of patriotism and all of the virtues espoused by the scouting program. They see scouts as the only true vehicle for which boys can become men. All of these characteristics are very laudable and are not the subject of my criticism. But these men have one consistent characteristic that annoy me. They never stop telling stories. We must have spent 3-4 hours of our 13 hour camp out listening to our military guys tell us about the time when they were "stranded in the Cascades during a training exercise and all they had was a pocket knife" or the time they "took the young kids on a snipe hunt" or "the joke they played on the new colonel at the shooting range" or "the time that one obstinate lughead Johnson boy finally became a man durng the big flood on the Grand Canyon trip". The stories will never end. They all come with a built in lesson.
Since I was the new guy it seemed like most of the stories were directed at me. I did my best to feign interest while formulating an exit strategy. I went to bed early just so I didn't have to hear one more story about the awesome power of the Black Hawk helicopter. If anything this trip taught me who I should avoid on future campouts.
All in all it was great to get out of the city. This has been something I've wanted to do for quite some time. I will just be a tad more careful about who I set my tent next to on future trips.
Last week we (the leaders) went up to a local lake (Bartlett Lake) for an over night leadership training camp. The area captured the rare desert beauty that is native to Arizona. A small but clear lake encapsulated by rugged saguro covered hills. Anyways, the trip was enjoyable. We had great meals. We had skits. (The same ones that we all grew up with) We had meetings about the importance of our calling. And we hung out and talked.
It is in these informal conversations around the campfire that certain and more true personalities among friends are uncovered. This is a chance to really get to know your friends who you typically only see on Sundays. I left the trip with a several stronger friendships. I also left the trip having been mildly annoyed by a couple of people. Strangely enough their personality seems to be commonplace with all of the troops I have been associated with. Allow me to describe them.
They are the grisled middle aged men who most likely have served in the military. They have a strong sense of patriotism and all of the virtues espoused by the scouting program. They see scouts as the only true vehicle for which boys can become men. All of these characteristics are very laudable and are not the subject of my criticism. But these men have one consistent characteristic that annoy me. They never stop telling stories. We must have spent 3-4 hours of our 13 hour camp out listening to our military guys tell us about the time when they were "stranded in the Cascades during a training exercise and all they had was a pocket knife" or the time they "took the young kids on a snipe hunt" or "the joke they played on the new colonel at the shooting range" or "the time that one obstinate lughead Johnson boy finally became a man durng the big flood on the Grand Canyon trip". The stories will never end. They all come with a built in lesson.
Since I was the new guy it seemed like most of the stories were directed at me. I did my best to feign interest while formulating an exit strategy. I went to bed early just so I didn't have to hear one more story about the awesome power of the Black Hawk helicopter. If anything this trip taught me who I should avoid on future campouts.
All in all it was great to get out of the city. This has been something I've wanted to do for quite some time. I will just be a tad more careful about who I set my tent next to on future trips.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Spartan living, today?
Right now I'm currently reading "Gates of fire" by Steven Pressfield, he's the fellow who gave us "Bagger Vance". This book is a historical fiction, like Bagger, that details the Battle of Thermopylae. In this battle, an ancient day version of the Alamo, the grossly undermanned Spartan armies held the large imperial amries of King Xerxes at bay and helped Greece fend off the Persian invaders. The book doesn't try to give a factual play by play, that would be hard, but tries to provide insights into the Spartan culture.
The Spartan region was home to the proud warriors of ancient Greece. While the thinkers came out of Athens, the toughest men came from Sparta. They had an elaborate and harsh warrior code that dictated Spartan living. At age 9 Spartan boys would enroll in the Agoge and would focus on warrior skills and working together in victory. Their training regiment bordered on brutality and young men, beaten down and exhusted by the training, were taught that it was better to keep going and die then to give in and submit. After all, are breaks given for the tired during warfare? As a result of this training the Spartan armies were among the envy of the ancient world and their lines were rarely broken. While training was extreme, these boys learned the value of brotherhood, honor, and competition.
Now to my question. How would the Spartans fare in today's world? Theirs was a world that broke down the individual and built up a unit. Ours is a world that breaks down the group while catering and celebrating the individual. While I would agree that some of Spartan life was extremely brutal, I do greatly admire what they were able to accomplish and what they stood for. I am not alone. The greatest leaders and thinkers throughout history have studied and celebrated the Spartan code. But sadly we live in a time when we couldn't truly live according to their code. Heck, the Boy Scouts can't even function without being intruden upon by someone whose "rights" have been violated.
The reason that the Spartan's were so feared and effective was due to their code and the way they lived. Without those those harsh conditions they wouldn't have been great. Our modern society today wouldn't allow for alot of the conditions that made the Spartans what they were. Personal rights are great and necessary, but sometimes it seems that their excessive emphasis can also be an excuse for not truly being great or not truly being responsible.
The Spartan region was home to the proud warriors of ancient Greece. While the thinkers came out of Athens, the toughest men came from Sparta. They had an elaborate and harsh warrior code that dictated Spartan living. At age 9 Spartan boys would enroll in the Agoge and would focus on warrior skills and working together in victory. Their training regiment bordered on brutality and young men, beaten down and exhusted by the training, were taught that it was better to keep going and die then to give in and submit. After all, are breaks given for the tired during warfare? As a result of this training the Spartan armies were among the envy of the ancient world and their lines were rarely broken. While training was extreme, these boys learned the value of brotherhood, honor, and competition.
Now to my question. How would the Spartans fare in today's world? Theirs was a world that broke down the individual and built up a unit. Ours is a world that breaks down the group while catering and celebrating the individual. While I would agree that some of Spartan life was extremely brutal, I do greatly admire what they were able to accomplish and what they stood for. I am not alone. The greatest leaders and thinkers throughout history have studied and celebrated the Spartan code. But sadly we live in a time when we couldn't truly live according to their code. Heck, the Boy Scouts can't even function without being intruden upon by someone whose "rights" have been violated.
The reason that the Spartan's were so feared and effective was due to their code and the way they lived. Without those those harsh conditions they wouldn't have been great. Our modern society today wouldn't allow for alot of the conditions that made the Spartans what they were. Personal rights are great and necessary, but sometimes it seems that their excessive emphasis can also be an excuse for not truly being great or not truly being responsible.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Reading Relevance
Sometimes during certain parts of my life I encounter something that perfectly pertains to my situation at that point. Many times I have uncovered scriptures that have spoken directly to a challenge I was facing. Recently the book that is speaking to me is "Atlas Shrugged".
The book, like the views of Rand, espouse the importance of productivity of capital generation. The enemies or antagonists are called "looters" and make their wealth by feeding off of their connections, laws, and socialist tendancies. The real generators of industrial wealth are condemned and weighed down and finally flee the country.
Why does this pertain to me? I am currently in between jobs and evaluating my worth as a contributor to the work force. Do I have the courage, work ethic, and intelligence to generate wealth myself? Do I have to rely on others to make things happen for me? These thoughts were recently evoked by a recent phone call from my mother-in-law. In it she stated that she knew a few people that I can talk to regarding a couple of opportunities in Utah. It made me think. Should I feel guilty for accepting such help? I didn't truly earn this advantage through my own work but through my connection to other people. All things being equal I want my work to speak for me and not my network.
Connections are an essential thing, a true necessity in todays world. I guess they are good in establishing an initial relationship. But work, skill, and knowledge are what should be needed in order prove worth and make connections last. So both social abilities and pure skill are needed to truly succeed. I wonder what Ayn Rand would think?
The book, like the views of Rand, espouse the importance of productivity of capital generation. The enemies or antagonists are called "looters" and make their wealth by feeding off of their connections, laws, and socialist tendancies. The real generators of industrial wealth are condemned and weighed down and finally flee the country.
Why does this pertain to me? I am currently in between jobs and evaluating my worth as a contributor to the work force. Do I have the courage, work ethic, and intelligence to generate wealth myself? Do I have to rely on others to make things happen for me? These thoughts were recently evoked by a recent phone call from my mother-in-law. In it she stated that she knew a few people that I can talk to regarding a couple of opportunities in Utah. It made me think. Should I feel guilty for accepting such help? I didn't truly earn this advantage through my own work but through my connection to other people. All things being equal I want my work to speak for me and not my network.
Connections are an essential thing, a true necessity in todays world. I guess they are good in establishing an initial relationship. But work, skill, and knowledge are what should be needed in order prove worth and make connections last. So both social abilities and pure skill are needed to truly succeed. I wonder what Ayn Rand would think?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Parrot Mania
Shelley and I attended the Jimmy Buffet concert last night. If I were to ever switch careers and become an anthropologist his fan following would be a fascinating case study. The show was great but the real treat came from people watching.
Jimmy Buffet is one of those artists, like Phish or the Dead, that don't see much commercial success but have a tremendous and loyal following. So while bands like U2 or ColdPlay make a killing on album sales, performers like Buffet are constantly touring and feeding off of their devoted followings. And these devoted fans definitely make the price of admission worth it.
Most Buffet fans are in their 40's and 50's. Almost all are Caucasian and middle class. These are people who, on any other day you'd expect to run into at Home Depot, have completely embraced the escape Jimmy's tropical sounds. The concerts allow them to forget about their mundane suburban lifestyles and drink insane amounts of alcohol, all while wearing parrot hats and flowered shirts. This is escapism at its finest. Inhibitions are out the window and people are carried far away from reality. We could make some serious money by videotaping and blackmailing random people in the audience. We just sat back and enjoyed the view.
I agree that escapism comes in many forms- sports, other forms of music, gardening, etc...- but it is hard to argue that there is anything more entertaining than watching Jimmy Buffet fans forget about reality and become drunken pirates. It's a real cultural treat. Oh yeah, and the concert wasn't that bad either.
Jimmy Buffet is one of those artists, like Phish or the Dead, that don't see much commercial success but have a tremendous and loyal following. So while bands like U2 or ColdPlay make a killing on album sales, performers like Buffet are constantly touring and feeding off of their devoted followings. And these devoted fans definitely make the price of admission worth it.
Most Buffet fans are in their 40's and 50's. Almost all are Caucasian and middle class. These are people who, on any other day you'd expect to run into at Home Depot, have completely embraced the escape Jimmy's tropical sounds. The concerts allow them to forget about their mundane suburban lifestyles and drink insane amounts of alcohol, all while wearing parrot hats and flowered shirts. This is escapism at its finest. Inhibitions are out the window and people are carried far away from reality. We could make some serious money by videotaping and blackmailing random people in the audience. We just sat back and enjoyed the view.
I agree that escapism comes in many forms- sports, other forms of music, gardening, etc...- but it is hard to argue that there is anything more entertaining than watching Jimmy Buffet fans forget about reality and become drunken pirates. It's a real cultural treat. Oh yeah, and the concert wasn't that bad either.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Gadianton Jihad
Just an observation from my scripture reading, nothing more.
The books of Helaman and early 3rd Nephi contain many passages that detail the problems created by the dark and secret works of the Gadianton Robbers. This clandestine group worked in the shadows and constantly thwarted the efforts of the government and church, even to the point of quietly controlling key government posts. While it didn't appear that they were able to influence to most righteous saints, they were able to get to the vast majority whose faith wasn't as strong.
The actions and tactics of this group caught my attention, given what is currently going on in the Middle East. While their motives might be different, Al Queda appears to use many of the same techniques employed anciently by the robbers. The most striking similarity is how they employ quiet and guerilla tactics, blending in among the people and using unconventional warfare. They both appeared to be extremely devoted to their cause, to the point of employing fear and elaborate rituals to ensure loyalty. I won't go as far to say that Satan is the author of Al Queda but both groups were set on the destruction of their enemy, the US now and the Church in ancient times.
This observation isn't too significant but it has shown me that human nature is virtually the same, regardless of place or time. The problems, tendencies, conditions that existed thousands of years ago still exist today. That is why I can read the writings of ancient prophets and still benefit from their teachings. The fundamental aspects of life are always the same.
The books of Helaman and early 3rd Nephi contain many passages that detail the problems created by the dark and secret works of the Gadianton Robbers. This clandestine group worked in the shadows and constantly thwarted the efforts of the government and church, even to the point of quietly controlling key government posts. While it didn't appear that they were able to influence to most righteous saints, they were able to get to the vast majority whose faith wasn't as strong.
The actions and tactics of this group caught my attention, given what is currently going on in the Middle East. While their motives might be different, Al Queda appears to use many of the same techniques employed anciently by the robbers. The most striking similarity is how they employ quiet and guerilla tactics, blending in among the people and using unconventional warfare. They both appeared to be extremely devoted to their cause, to the point of employing fear and elaborate rituals to ensure loyalty. I won't go as far to say that Satan is the author of Al Queda but both groups were set on the destruction of their enemy, the US now and the Church in ancient times.
This observation isn't too significant but it has shown me that human nature is virtually the same, regardless of place or time. The problems, tendencies, conditions that existed thousands of years ago still exist today. That is why I can read the writings of ancient prophets and still benefit from their teachings. The fundamental aspects of life are always the same.
Friday, March 25, 2005
A thought regarding the apostacy
I have been spending a lot of time with the missionaries these days. This has given me plenty of opportunities to particpate in the lessons they teach. It has been very rewarding. Recent changes in the lesson/discussion structure has included the apostacy and restoration as some of the first principles that people are taught. The first lesson, as taught by local elders, is longer and discusses more complex ideas then I was accustomed to teaching while an elder.
It was during one of these recent first lessons, or discussions or whatever they are called these days, that I was struck with a thought. Not a thought that would in anyway shake my testimony, but a thought that raised an issue that I don't feel has really been addressed. I am hoping that some of the occassional and silent watchers of this page- namely Bell and Gar- will help me with this.
We were at the point in the lesson where the apostacy and restoration were brought up. The elders were discussing what comprised a dispensation and what it meant to be in a state of apostacy. The next few minutes were spent teaching about the rejection of the early apostles and the darkness created by the apostacy. I got to thinking. According to our calculations and understanding of time, we have inhabited this earth for something like six or seven thousand years. (Gar correct me if I'm wrong) Why would the lord allow for such a long apostacy when that period of roughly 1,700 years would account for something like 25% of our existence on earth? That equals millions of people who never even had the blessings of the church and priesthood in their lifetimes.
It seems hard for me to think that a perfectly executed plan would include such a long period of time where there was little eternal progress. I realize that the millenium and temple work will help all of these people out. I also realize that, compared to the answers provided by mainstream religion, this one makes much more sense. This thought doesn't really shake my faith, it's just something I want to better understand.
It was during one of these recent first lessons, or discussions or whatever they are called these days, that I was struck with a thought. Not a thought that would in anyway shake my testimony, but a thought that raised an issue that I don't feel has really been addressed. I am hoping that some of the occassional and silent watchers of this page- namely Bell and Gar- will help me with this.
We were at the point in the lesson where the apostacy and restoration were brought up. The elders were discussing what comprised a dispensation and what it meant to be in a state of apostacy. The next few minutes were spent teaching about the rejection of the early apostles and the darkness created by the apostacy. I got to thinking. According to our calculations and understanding of time, we have inhabited this earth for something like six or seven thousand years. (Gar correct me if I'm wrong) Why would the lord allow for such a long apostacy when that period of roughly 1,700 years would account for something like 25% of our existence on earth? That equals millions of people who never even had the blessings of the church and priesthood in their lifetimes.
It seems hard for me to think that a perfectly executed plan would include such a long period of time where there was little eternal progress. I realize that the millenium and temple work will help all of these people out. I also realize that, compared to the answers provided by mainstream religion, this one makes much more sense. This thought doesn't really shake my faith, it's just something I want to better understand.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Public Places
I have been spending alot of time at the Phoenix library lately as I complete work on a current project. I find that I work better in an environment that is different and doesn't have the comfortable distractions of home.
Besides improved productivity I have been able to observe the general populace that goes to the library. The most prominent groups of people I see are high school kids avoiding school -strange place to play hookey-, groups of young school children, mothers with children, and homeless people. The homeless, as can be expected, are among the largest group. I guess if I were in their shoes this would be a preferred location, there aren't many spots where they are truly welecomed. At first I have been nervous, anticipating that every encounter will end in a solicitation for money. While that has happened, I have observed some thing different. They are among the most active people at the library. They seem no less smart then anyone else and are looking into topics that one would assume would belong to more educated folk.
The library has helped me humanize a portion of the population that is conviently turned into aliens. As I've become friends with a couple of people I've realized that, outside of a few bad breaks or choices, they are no different than anyone else. It's sad that I have prejudices but I'm grateful that the library is helping overcome one of them.
Besides improved productivity I have been able to observe the general populace that goes to the library. The most prominent groups of people I see are high school kids avoiding school -strange place to play hookey-, groups of young school children, mothers with children, and homeless people. The homeless, as can be expected, are among the largest group. I guess if I were in their shoes this would be a preferred location, there aren't many spots where they are truly welecomed. At first I have been nervous, anticipating that every encounter will end in a solicitation for money. While that has happened, I have observed some thing different. They are among the most active people at the library. They seem no less smart then anyone else and are looking into topics that one would assume would belong to more educated folk.
The library has helped me humanize a portion of the population that is conviently turned into aliens. As I've become friends with a couple of people I've realized that, outside of a few bad breaks or choices, they are no different than anyone else. It's sad that I have prejudices but I'm grateful that the library is helping overcome one of them.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Spring respite
I don't know what it is. Despite my best efforts of keeping a record of my life it always seems like theres a drop in my output in the early spring. I'm not sure if it is because this time of year is busy, or it has something to do with the spring soltice, or if there is just so much more to do outside. Nevertheless, I have failed to account for several weeks of memorable events, I will try to do better.
More to come....man, the weather is just too nice.
More to come....man, the weather is just too nice.
Friday, February 25, 2005
One last change
It appears that there has been a definite theme to my recent posts. Changes are a natural and necessary function to life, I'm glad that I have been able to recognize and learn from them. The following is just a trite observation that has made me painfuly aware of the fact that I am aging.
Two of my favorite sports icons have recently retired. In January Emmitt Smith joined the Cowboys for a day so that he could retire with a star on his helmet. I have carefully followed his amazing career ever since I was in Jr. High. The monumental 49ers-Cowboys games of the mid 90's were amazing events and strained some of my early friendships. Later, in February, Karl Malone announced that he was leaving basketball. My recollections of the Mailman go back even further to my days as a 4th grader. I remember, as a small lad, briefly meeting him at an appliance store. All of my friends embraced Karl and the Jazz, they were our only team in the world of professional sports.
I guess I took the careers of these two giants for granted. I just assumed that they would always be there, that was atleast the case for most of my life. Their retirements signaled the end of my real involvement and interest in sports and helped me realize that maybe I should devote my recreational efforts to tasks more befitting with my age such as gardening and the symphony. I will still follow sports, but the loss of my intimate connections with these games might lesson my allegiance to some degree. And that just might make my wife a little happier.
Two of my favorite sports icons have recently retired. In January Emmitt Smith joined the Cowboys for a day so that he could retire with a star on his helmet. I have carefully followed his amazing career ever since I was in Jr. High. The monumental 49ers-Cowboys games of the mid 90's were amazing events and strained some of my early friendships. Later, in February, Karl Malone announced that he was leaving basketball. My recollections of the Mailman go back even further to my days as a 4th grader. I remember, as a small lad, briefly meeting him at an appliance store. All of my friends embraced Karl and the Jazz, they were our only team in the world of professional sports.
I guess I took the careers of these two giants for granted. I just assumed that they would always be there, that was atleast the case for most of my life. Their retirements signaled the end of my real involvement and interest in sports and helped me realize that maybe I should devote my recreational efforts to tasks more befitting with my age such as gardening and the symphony. I will still follow sports, but the loss of my intimate connections with these games might lesson my allegiance to some degree. And that just might make my wife a little happier.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
more changes
I guess it takes certain events in my life to truly me wake up and take account for myself. The last few weeks have provided some major events that have really got my attention and focus. The latest of these events was the passing of my boss. He was only 41 and was in the prime of his life. His death has really touched me on many levels. He was a brillant man who positively touched the lives of many people, as was evidenced by the hundreds who attended his funeral.
I have spent several hours evaluating his life and what made it special. He was a visionary man who took risks and thought big. This was what attracted me to seek employment with his company. All it took was 5 minutes and you were equally sold and ready to sign on. More then that he made sure that you were included in his vision. Despite all of the ups and downs that this company encountered over the last few months, his first order of business was to always take care of his employees. He ran a business to make money, but not at the expense of more important things like family.
This death has also given me a chance to look inward. He lived such a good and full life... I needed to see how I was doing. His example has given me new resolve to make some positive changes in my life, that might be the best legacy he could have left me. I feel that I would be letting him down if I didn't act on his example.
This has been particularly hard for me. This is the first death of someone close who wasn't expected to die. He was my contemporary and a great mentor. I will always cherish those memories of our time together. Those times, after work, when we were able to leave work behind and discuss the similarities between Judaism and Mormonism, outline our goals for our future, or just to share quirky stories about our families.
Steven Mark Gootter
Steven Mark Gootter was born on May 2, 1962 in New York. He passed away on February 10, 2005 in Scottsdale, where he resided for the past four years. He moved to Tucson with his family at the age of eight and graduated from Tucson High School, where he was state champion in tennis, and in 1985 graduated from the University of Arizona. Steve was an entrepreneur and enjoyed a successful career in real estate, financial planning, and mergers and acquisitions. He excelled in fostering his own and others' creative ideas. This passion was reflected in his founding of Journey IPD, an intellectual properties firm specializing in helping inventors and entrepreneurs license, commercialize and protect their ideas. Steve, himself, held several patents and has products selling in 27 countries. Steve was an active, giving, optimistic, and honest individual. He had a tremendous sense of humor and a gift for making others laugh. His "joie de vivre" radiated in everything he did and everyone he touched. His spirit will live on by all who knew him. He will be greatly missed by his wife Debbie, his two children, Sophie and Max, his parents Joseph George and Paulette Gootter, Sisters Shari and Claudine (Andrew) Messing, and his nephews, Alex Gootter and Drew Messing. Services will be held at Temple Emanu-EI on Sunday, February 13, 2005 at 2:00 PM., 225 N. Country Club Rd., Tucson, AZ. Interment will follow in the Temple Emanu-EI Section of Evergreen Cemetery. Remembrances can be made to The Steven Gootter Educational Fund, c/o Shoah Foundation, P.O. Box 3168, Los Angeles, CA 90078-3168 or the Sarver Heart Center for Research, UMC 1501 N. Campbell, Tucson, AZ.
I have spent several hours evaluating his life and what made it special. He was a visionary man who took risks and thought big. This was what attracted me to seek employment with his company. All it took was 5 minutes and you were equally sold and ready to sign on. More then that he made sure that you were included in his vision. Despite all of the ups and downs that this company encountered over the last few months, his first order of business was to always take care of his employees. He ran a business to make money, but not at the expense of more important things like family.
This death has also given me a chance to look inward. He lived such a good and full life... I needed to see how I was doing. His example has given me new resolve to make some positive changes in my life, that might be the best legacy he could have left me. I feel that I would be letting him down if I didn't act on his example.
This has been particularly hard for me. This is the first death of someone close who wasn't expected to die. He was my contemporary and a great mentor. I will always cherish those memories of our time together. Those times, after work, when we were able to leave work behind and discuss the similarities between Judaism and Mormonism, outline our goals for our future, or just to share quirky stories about our families.
Steven Mark Gootter
Steven Mark Gootter was born on May 2, 1962 in New York. He passed away on February 10, 2005 in Scottsdale, where he resided for the past four years. He moved to Tucson with his family at the age of eight and graduated from Tucson High School, where he was state champion in tennis, and in 1985 graduated from the University of Arizona. Steve was an entrepreneur and enjoyed a successful career in real estate, financial planning, and mergers and acquisitions. He excelled in fostering his own and others' creative ideas. This passion was reflected in his founding of Journey IPD, an intellectual properties firm specializing in helping inventors and entrepreneurs license, commercialize and protect their ideas. Steve, himself, held several patents and has products selling in 27 countries. Steve was an active, giving, optimistic, and honest individual. He had a tremendous sense of humor and a gift for making others laugh. His "joie de vivre" radiated in everything he did and everyone he touched. His spirit will live on by all who knew him. He will be greatly missed by his wife Debbie, his two children, Sophie and Max, his parents Joseph George and Paulette Gootter, Sisters Shari and Claudine (Andrew) Messing, and his nephews, Alex Gootter and Drew Messing. Services will be held at Temple Emanu-EI on Sunday, February 13, 2005 at 2:00 PM., 225 N. Country Club Rd., Tucson, AZ. Interment will follow in the Temple Emanu-EI Section of Evergreen Cemetery. Remembrances can be made to The Steven Gootter Educational Fund, c/o Shoah Foundation, P.O. Box 3168, Los Angeles, CA 90078-3168 or the Sarver Heart Center for Research, UMC 1501 N. Campbell, Tucson, AZ.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Changes....part duex
I grew up in a very stable household. My dad was a dentist and my childhood passed without any great needs or deviations from normal life. That environment did very little for preparing me for my sojourn into life.
The last few years have been full of many twists and turns, ranging from ultimate bliss to the fear of uncertainty. Shelley is now pregnant. With that comes all of the expected changes to our life. These changes will be joyful. One the other end of the spectrum is my current job. It appears that my company will not receive the necessary funding needed to get the business self sustainable. I love my job, my co-workers, and my work but I am now faced with the grim specter of having to find another job. I could stay here and continue to work in uncertainty and risk or I could search for a more stable job. With the upcoming kid, I will be forced to do the latter. The next few months will be filled with faith, diligence, and networking as a work to achieve that stability that I was accustomed to growing up.
The last few years have been full of many twists and turns, ranging from ultimate bliss to the fear of uncertainty. Shelley is now pregnant. With that comes all of the expected changes to our life. These changes will be joyful. One the other end of the spectrum is my current job. It appears that my company will not receive the necessary funding needed to get the business self sustainable. I love my job, my co-workers, and my work but I am now faced with the grim specter of having to find another job. I could stay here and continue to work in uncertainty and risk or I could search for a more stable job. With the upcoming kid, I will be forced to do the latter. The next few months will be filled with faith, diligence, and networking as a work to achieve that stability that I was accustomed to growing up.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Passing of an american generation
With this weeks passing of Johnny Carson I realized that some of the key voices of a generation have left us. People like Johnny, Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra, and even Ronald Reagan were instrumental in serving as a mouth piece for a generation of americans. While I was too young to catch these people in their "cultural" primes I have nonetheless felt the impact of their lives. I truly miss the good nature, nostalgia, and pride that these performers brought. Today's popular culture is void of figures we can relate and look up to.
I remember those occasions as a child when my parents let me lay at the foot of their bed to catch Johnny's monologue. I didn' t understand much of his humor, but that didn't matter. He had a charisma and likeability that resonated enough that even a small boy could be drawn in. In a way, Johnny Carson helped me connect with my parents, grandparents, and so many older people that I loved and respected. I hope that our generation can do the same thing for those that follow.
I remember those occasions as a child when my parents let me lay at the foot of their bed to catch Johnny's monologue. I didn' t understand much of his humor, but that didn't matter. He had a charisma and likeability that resonated enough that even a small boy could be drawn in. In a way, Johnny Carson helped me connect with my parents, grandparents, and so many older people that I loved and respected. I hope that our generation can do the same thing for those that follow.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Changes
It seems like everything I get all of my ducks in a row and start to acclimate myself to a certain stage in life, something happens to make me alter my course. This year is no exception. After a year and half my wife and I are finally pregnant. And with this pregnancy comes a multitude of changes that will completely affect every facet of our lives. And we thought having a dog required adjustments!
Anyways, words cannot adequately express the excitement that I have regarding the upcoming birth. I have looked forward to fatherhood for quite some time. All of those hours spent creating parenting strategies and planning family trips will finally be realized. I just hope that I am ready for this awesome responsibility. Oftentimes my thoughts will uncover inadequacies. Some of them real and some of them created by an overly active mind. Either way I am counting on plenty of help from up above on this endeavor.
Anyways, words cannot adequately express the excitement that I have regarding the upcoming birth. I have looked forward to fatherhood for quite some time. All of those hours spent creating parenting strategies and planning family trips will finally be realized. I just hope that I am ready for this awesome responsibility. Oftentimes my thoughts will uncover inadequacies. Some of them real and some of them created by an overly active mind. Either way I am counting on plenty of help from up above on this endeavor.
Monday, January 10, 2005
Well then...
The New Year, my renewed committment to my paper journal, and my apathy have all conspired against the blog. I will commit to blowing the dust off of this thing and will get back into my routine.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Randomizer (Series I Volume VI)
- Home teaching is a very underrated calling. Many people, myself included, take it for granted and treat it like a monthly obligation. We teach two people who have changed my mind and helped me realize its potential. Both men are single, live alone, and have various issues that have kept them from church attendance. But both men openly embrace our visits and look forward to being able to converse with someone. It's such a small gesture on our part, but they really appreciate it. Last night we dropped by some holiday treats to them and we received the most gracious thank yous I have witnessed in a long time. It's amazing how the littlest things can have the biggest impact.
- I have been able to learn alot of things in my life. One of the most valuable truths that I have learned is that I probably won't learn everything during my stay on earth. Opinions are rarely fixed and absolute, but evolving according to study and thought. I am around a couple of people, at work and church, who have strong opinions about everything. I don't mind that, but it does bother me when they presume their opinion is truth. Nothing annoys me more then getting involved in a conversation with this type of person. The dialogue soon becomes one sided and I get preached to about one subject or the next. Oftentimes some simple questioning, a la the Socratic method, reveals the shallowness of their comprehension, other times I just gradually tune out. Is it so wrong to say "I don't know?" or "I am still studying that topic" instead of "This is how it should be!"?
- I have been able to learn alot of things in my life. One of the most valuable truths that I have learned is that I probably won't learn everything during my stay on earth. Opinions are rarely fixed and absolute, but evolving according to study and thought. I am around a couple of people, at work and church, who have strong opinions about everything. I don't mind that, but it does bother me when they presume their opinion is truth. Nothing annoys me more then getting involved in a conversation with this type of person. The dialogue soon becomes one sided and I get preached to about one subject or the next. Oftentimes some simple questioning, a la the Socratic method, reveals the shallowness of their comprehension, other times I just gradually tune out. Is it so wrong to say "I don't know?" or "I am still studying that topic" instead of "This is how it should be!"?
Friday, December 17, 2004
Randomizer (Series I Volume V)
- I never really understood the popular imagery surrounding roses until the other morning when I was gardening. Man, I really pricked myself while trying do some pruning. Such a beautiful plant, such a painful prick....maybe I should write a song about it.
- It would be really cool to travel back into time and see how correct or incorrect our traditional notions are of certain things. What if the "wild west" really wasn't that wild or what if Helen of Troy was really just an average looking girl or what if the Knights Templar were just a group of guys who needed some time away from their wives so they could drink. There is a giant grey void that seperates factual history from popular romanticism, it would be fun to bridge the span and get the real picture. But then again, some of those embellishments and mysteries are what makes history such a fun subject to study.
- It would be really cool to travel back into time and see how correct or incorrect our traditional notions are of certain things. What if the "wild west" really wasn't that wild or what if Helen of Troy was really just an average looking girl or what if the Knights Templar were just a group of guys who needed some time away from their wives so they could drink. There is a giant grey void that seperates factual history from popular romanticism, it would be fun to bridge the span and get the real picture. But then again, some of those embellishments and mysteries are what makes history such a fun subject to study.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Of All Things Wassail
The other day I was shopping at the local market. It's unique and healthy items have earned our patronage, unfortunately it has also earned the accolades of many other people. While waiting in an insanely long line, 25 minutes by my count, I started to think..."Is this fancy olive oil and hormone free corn fed angus beef that I have in my cart worth this kind of wait?" It only took a second before I determined that it didn't.
It also invoked a quirky yet accurate theory and formula that was devised by a close friend a few years ago while observing similar circumstances. It became known as the Wassail Factor.
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Simply put, the Wassail formula measures the true worth of a product, event, or trend by dividing its perceived or given value by its actual value. Like the warm cider from which it is named, this formula takes into account some of the unnecessary baggage associated with many popular things.
(The value that is assigned to X by public)/(The actual worth of X)= Wassail
For example, while we love our local market(Trader Joes) we do not feel that the value derived from shopping there is worth the wait and insane crowds. The wassail factor would most likely be greater then one, something not good. The same can be said about things like Cafe Rio, the latest successful sports franchise, or RadioHead. All of these things, by themselves, are great but they can begin to lose value once their popularity and associated baggage begins to weigh them down.
The ideal scenario involves finding something that brings great value but does not carry the weight of Wassail, one that would measure at 1 or less. This would allow you to enjoy the fruits of the product without having to deal with the unnecessary attention and crowds so commonly associated with products with a high wassail factor.
It also invoked a quirky yet accurate theory and formula that was devised by a close friend a few years ago while observing similar circumstances. It became known as the Wassail Factor.
-------
Simply put, the Wassail formula measures the true worth of a product, event, or trend by dividing its perceived or given value by its actual value. Like the warm cider from which it is named, this formula takes into account some of the unnecessary baggage associated with many popular things.
(The value that is assigned to X by public)/(The actual worth of X)= Wassail
For example, while we love our local market(Trader Joes) we do not feel that the value derived from shopping there is worth the wait and insane crowds. The wassail factor would most likely be greater then one, something not good. The same can be said about things like Cafe Rio, the latest successful sports franchise, or RadioHead. All of these things, by themselves, are great but they can begin to lose value once their popularity and associated baggage begins to weigh them down.
The ideal scenario involves finding something that brings great value but does not carry the weight of Wassail, one that would measure at 1 or less. This would allow you to enjoy the fruits of the product without having to deal with the unnecessary attention and crowds so commonly associated with products with a high wassail factor.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Well it happened...
Tonight Shelley and I completed a very important rite of passage within the Mormon community. We sat through our first multilevel marketing sales pitch from a couple of ward members. This event typically takes place after the mission, marriage, and home ownership. The solicitors will use tactics and techniques once employed as missionaries and will even testify of the program and how it gives them the financial freedom to focus on other more righteous causes.
The meeting goes something like this, regardless of whether or not its Quixtar, Amway, or Equinox. 1. An overblown and dramatic pitch on the value of taking control of your life and breaking the shackles of normal employment to become empowered as your own boss. Who wouldn't want that? Stories and testimonies abound about how their friend was once living in poverty but since they have discovered program xx they have a six figure income and vacation in the Caymans. 2. The vague program overview, describing how you make the money. 3. There might be mention of the actual product that you are pushing. 4. They might even drop the name of the company. 5. Strong sales close and more bearing of testimonies.
These schemes make me hesitant because the emphasis is on the program and not the actual product. You never hear about how great this product is that you will be selling. All you get is talk about how wealthy you will be once you have 15 people working under you. Meanwhile no one actually sees the product and it languishes in the basement of the guy at the bottom of the pecking order. Its the program they push, the product is inconsequential.
Anyways, the meeting went better then I expected. I was very hesitant and put up a wall of resistance. These two ward members weren't pushy, I appreciated that. They presented the program without doing things that would jeopardize the relationship.
The evening is over and I guess I can finally feel like a part of the ward. I have spoken in sacrament meeting. I have a couple of callings. And now I have been approached with a MLM scheme. We've arrived!
The meeting goes something like this, regardless of whether or not its Quixtar, Amway, or Equinox. 1. An overblown and dramatic pitch on the value of taking control of your life and breaking the shackles of normal employment to become empowered as your own boss. Who wouldn't want that? Stories and testimonies abound about how their friend was once living in poverty but since they have discovered program xx they have a six figure income and vacation in the Caymans. 2. The vague program overview, describing how you make the money. 3. There might be mention of the actual product that you are pushing. 4. They might even drop the name of the company. 5. Strong sales close and more bearing of testimonies.
These schemes make me hesitant because the emphasis is on the program and not the actual product. You never hear about how great this product is that you will be selling. All you get is talk about how wealthy you will be once you have 15 people working under you. Meanwhile no one actually sees the product and it languishes in the basement of the guy at the bottom of the pecking order. Its the program they push, the product is inconsequential.
Anyways, the meeting went better then I expected. I was very hesitant and put up a wall of resistance. These two ward members weren't pushy, I appreciated that. They presented the program without doing things that would jeopardize the relationship.
The evening is over and I guess I can finally feel like a part of the ward. I have spoken in sacrament meeting. I have a couple of callings. And now I have been approached with a MLM scheme. We've arrived!
Sunday, December 05, 2004
The Truth and "The Truth"
Today was fast sunday, and with it all of the bearing of the testimonies. It is a great opportunity to have your faith reaffirmed by the testimonies and convictions of others. It also exposes one of the most oft quoted phrases within the church, "I know this church is true". It's a shame that whoever created that statement can't receive a royalty everytime it is invoked.
Anyways, my intent is not to be flippant but rather try to understand that phrase. I want to understand it, especially, from the perspective of someone who isn't familar with the LDS vernacular. If I am hearing that phrase for the first time, what does it mean? Are the members reliable and trustworthy, is that what it means? It seems vague and and I think that many of us just repeat that phrase because it is easy and it is assumed that everyone understands it. It seems like it is a short cut to something more descriptive and accurate like "I am grateful to be a member of the church that was restored by Jesus Christ and contains all of his Gospel truths." Along the way between habit and description I feel many new attendees can get lost.
I also feel like this is one of the several phrases that are used in church that shield us from actual thought. Many times the "read the scriptures and pray" response is more a trite facade to ward off another question from the Sunday School teacher than an actual investigation into a spritual matter. We've all been through the sunday routine so many times that it is hard to avoid generating new discussion. I have been dealing with this myself. Many sundays the call of the leftovers in the fridge and a nice nap preclude me from actually contributing to Elders quorum discussion. This is quite damning to my progression and something I have been conscience's been working on. Church should be a wonderfully enlightening experience not a habit.
Anyways, my intent is not to be flippant but rather try to understand that phrase. I want to understand it, especially, from the perspective of someone who isn't familar with the LDS vernacular. If I am hearing that phrase for the first time, what does it mean? Are the members reliable and trustworthy, is that what it means? It seems vague and and I think that many of us just repeat that phrase because it is easy and it is assumed that everyone understands it. It seems like it is a short cut to something more descriptive and accurate like "I am grateful to be a member of the church that was restored by Jesus Christ and contains all of his Gospel truths." Along the way between habit and description I feel many new attendees can get lost.
I also feel like this is one of the several phrases that are used in church that shield us from actual thought. Many times the "read the scriptures and pray" response is more a trite facade to ward off another question from the Sunday School teacher than an actual investigation into a spritual matter. We've all been through the sunday routine so many times that it is hard to avoid generating new discussion. I have been dealing with this myself. Many sundays the call of the leftovers in the fridge and a nice nap preclude me from actually contributing to Elders quorum discussion. This is quite damning to my progression and something I have been conscience's been working on. Church should be a wonderfully enlightening experience not a habit.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
He's not that Machiavellian after all
I've been reading the Prince lately, something I've wanted to do since my first political science class way back in high school. I always wondered if the book and its author earned all of the connotations that it's been given over the years. Well, after reading the first 13 chapters I would have to conclude that the book and Nicolo weren't as evil and conniving as all of my professors made him out to be.
I found the book to be a compilation of very astute political observations that have been recorded throughout history. These observations served as the basis for understanding human nature, particularly when it comes to obtaining and preserving power. He was merely describing what has worked and not worked concerning politics and power. I found his insights, despite their antiquity, to adequately describe what we see taking place today in the world of business, politics, and everyday life. He never overtly suggests one tactic or another, he merely describes what has worked over history and what hasn't. If anything he discouraged deceit, greed, and other adjectives usually accompany his name and works.
Anyways, the book has been a good read, if I only had the fortitude to finish Joyce's Ulysses. Books are great, it's just a struggle to get beyond the ease and convenience of TV and other distractions to get to them. Back to Seinfeld reruns.
I found the book to be a compilation of very astute political observations that have been recorded throughout history. These observations served as the basis for understanding human nature, particularly when it comes to obtaining and preserving power. He was merely describing what has worked and not worked concerning politics and power. I found his insights, despite their antiquity, to adequately describe what we see taking place today in the world of business, politics, and everyday life. He never overtly suggests one tactic or another, he merely describes what has worked over history and what hasn't. If anything he discouraged deceit, greed, and other adjectives usually accompany his name and works.
Anyways, the book has been a good read, if I only had the fortitude to finish Joyce's Ulysses. Books are great, it's just a struggle to get beyond the ease and convenience of TV and other distractions to get to them. Back to Seinfeld reruns.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Fists of Fury
Since it everyone else has commented on it, I thought that I would add my two cents. The event of course was the brawl and subsequent melee that took place last Friday at the Detroit-Indiana game. It would be pretty hard to avoid this one, since the event has been broadcast on every media outlet and commented on by every commentator incessantly since it took place.
I agree with the harsh penalty meted out to Artest. Granted the fans were lame but you should be able to control your own reactions. You may not be able to control anything else, so only worry about what you can control...your actions. Players have been pelted with batteries, beers, and everything else since the birth of organized sports, that's just the way it's been. If you are an athlete you know and prepare for this, you tune it out.
I also feel like the fans should pay some of the penalty. They fanned the flames and acted despicably. It becomes a lot more difficult, however, to exercise justice on the 10-15 semi anonymous people who committed these acts. Maybe you can revoke beer sales at future Detroit games. Maybe you can have Detroit forfeit a few home games. Something needs to be done to nip this kind of activity early.
Like they say, Sports is a reflection of society. It doesn't take a sociologist to point out that society is becoming more violent, more self centered, and less responsible. This didn't happen in a vacuum and we can't think that it did.
I agree with the harsh penalty meted out to Artest. Granted the fans were lame but you should be able to control your own reactions. You may not be able to control anything else, so only worry about what you can control...your actions. Players have been pelted with batteries, beers, and everything else since the birth of organized sports, that's just the way it's been. If you are an athlete you know and prepare for this, you tune it out.
I also feel like the fans should pay some of the penalty. They fanned the flames and acted despicably. It becomes a lot more difficult, however, to exercise justice on the 10-15 semi anonymous people who committed these acts. Maybe you can revoke beer sales at future Detroit games. Maybe you can have Detroit forfeit a few home games. Something needs to be done to nip this kind of activity early.
Like they say, Sports is a reflection of society. It doesn't take a sociologist to point out that society is becoming more violent, more self centered, and less responsible. This didn't happen in a vacuum and we can't think that it did.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Book Learning
Ever since I have left the hallowed halls and ivory towers of academia I have sought to maintain a continual thirst for learning. It was in that spirit last week that I decided to browse amazon.com in search of some good reading. I had already created a list of books that I have always wanted to read so I naturally went to the title at the top of the list, "The Art of War".
My delight at finding the aforementioned title for only $4.99 was turned into sheer bliss when I was notified that I could get that book and book #7 on my list, "The Prince", for only $4 more. My mind raced with anticipation as I looked forward to wonderful evenings spent learning about very pertinent subjects from civilization's finest minds. No more evenings spent gloomily watching reruns on the history channel.
The next Friday I rushed home to claim my new prize, the books had arrived in the mail. I went inside and hurriedly opened up the package. I quickly pulled the copy of "The Prince" and some pocket sized pamphlet and turned the package upside down waiting for "The Art of War" to fall out. When nothing came out I reexamined the fallen contents. the pocket sized pamphlet was indeed the book! This great piece of literature had been reduced down to a 2" by 2" booklet with about 300 words. Didn't Sun Tzu write more then this? My disappointment and amazement were released in a loud chortle. I didn't decide whether this was really funny or if I had just been robbed of $5. I opted for laughter and decided to buy the book again, this time paying very close attention to the reader reviews supplied by amazon.com.
Since I don't know any Lilliputians I suppose that I will keep the book and use it as a conversation piece. Maybe I will keep it on my coffee table. Or maybe it can be kept and used by future children for usage in their doll collections. There are so many things that can be done with miniature books.
My delight at finding the aforementioned title for only $4.99 was turned into sheer bliss when I was notified that I could get that book and book #7 on my list, "The Prince", for only $4 more. My mind raced with anticipation as I looked forward to wonderful evenings spent learning about very pertinent subjects from civilization's finest minds. No more evenings spent gloomily watching reruns on the history channel.
The next Friday I rushed home to claim my new prize, the books had arrived in the mail. I went inside and hurriedly opened up the package. I quickly pulled the copy of "The Prince" and some pocket sized pamphlet and turned the package upside down waiting for "The Art of War" to fall out. When nothing came out I reexamined the fallen contents. the pocket sized pamphlet was indeed the book! This great piece of literature had been reduced down to a 2" by 2" booklet with about 300 words. Didn't Sun Tzu write more then this? My disappointment and amazement were released in a loud chortle. I didn't decide whether this was really funny or if I had just been robbed of $5. I opted for laughter and decided to buy the book again, this time paying very close attention to the reader reviews supplied by amazon.com.
Since I don't know any Lilliputians I suppose that I will keep the book and use it as a conversation piece. Maybe I will keep it on my coffee table. Or maybe it can be kept and used by future children for usage in their doll collections. There are so many things that can be done with miniature books.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Randomizer (Volume I Series IV)
- The other day I heard a law official on TV declare that they were going to come down on a criminal with the "full weight of the law." If I were to ever commit a crime I hope that the person prosecuting me only uses 1/4th to a 1/3rd of the law, I don't think I could handle everything.
- Last night we hosted a house warming party. It was quite stressful because we invited a very diverse and eclectic set of guests, ranging from Shelley's flamboyant gay coworker to my conservative church friends. Suprisingly the experiment worked and by the end of the evening most groups had done an admirable job socializing with one another. It almost felt like we were conducting a sociological experiment measuring the conversational results of mixing up very different people.
- Last night we hosted a house warming party. It was quite stressful because we invited a very diverse and eclectic set of guests, ranging from Shelley's flamboyant gay coworker to my conservative church friends. Suprisingly the experiment worked and by the end of the evening most groups had done an admirable job socializing with one another. It almost felt like we were conducting a sociological experiment measuring the conversational results of mixing up very different people.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Uncertainty 2004
I, like everyone else in the U.S., is following the presidential results as they trickle in....are exit polls really this accurate? Shelley and I voted this morning. Things ran very smoothly and the whole process took 20 minutes. I am very anxious to see this day end. One, because I am sick and tired of all of the political mud that has dirtied up my living room and. Two, because I really am nervous about the outcome.
While I strongly support Bush, I am tentatively getting myself ready to accept Kerry. He just doesn't seem decisive or charismatic and he bases his stances according to the breeze. But, I would rather accept a clean defeat then have to endure two months of uncertainty. I really hope that our nation can recover from the division that has been created through this campaign.
While I strongly support Bush, I am tentatively getting myself ready to accept Kerry. He just doesn't seem decisive or charismatic and he bases his stances according to the breeze. But, I would rather accept a clean defeat then have to endure two months of uncertainty. I really hope that our nation can recover from the division that has been created through this campaign.
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