How 'bout dem Cowboys?

Well the bottom quickly fell off the good ship Cowboys this past week. I'm still coming to grips with the fact that the season is over and all I have to look forward to now is asking "what if" and analyzing stats of obscure players for the upcoming draft.

For some reason the Cowboys have been plagued with a couple of criticle weaknesses these past few years. These weaknesses have not been covered up by the superior atheletes on the team. They were present under the highly controlled and strict Parcells regime and they were also evident under the laid back leadership of Wade Phillips. In my humble opinion, the Cowboys won't be able to step into the football Pantheon that the Patriots are currently hanging out in until these are corrected.

1) Penalties- In the two biggest loses of the year (Patriots and Giants) the Boys had multiple drives killed by penalities, particularly holding or offsides. This forced the Cowboys into 3rd and long situations that limited play calling. We have a very powerful line but we need to play as a complete unit. Hats off to the Patriots because they do.

2) Discipline- This one stems from the coach I believe. This is the other sucky edge of the sword that gave Phillips and the Boys their early success. They were loose and won during the early going. But come December and playoff time they didn't have the discipline to ratchet up the intensity. As a result we had costly penalties (think Davis mauling Ominura during Giants game) There aren't enough strong personalities in the locker room to keep players in check and keep them from being complacent. Once again the Patriots are successful largely because they are the most disciplined bunch of the lot.

3) Distraction- Holywood starlets, stupid comments by players, etc....These things distract players and create posterboard materials for the opposition. Take a lot at the damn Patriots. Their benign and politically correct statements give nothing to their opponents to use. Everything is kept in house and you never hear discussion about the Brazilian bombshells that Brady is dating.

4) Defensive Secondary- This one is more on the schemes employed. The Cowboys high pressure pass rush dictates that CB's play in tight man to man or bump coverage. This prevents the QB from dropping the ball off to his hot receiver. But for some reason the Cowboys played with a big enough cushion that would make the princess and the pea jealous. We were too worried about giving up the deep ball that we let teams nickel and dime us with the short pass. This is a huge concern and it needs to be addressed in the draft.

All in all we are so close. It will be difficult to replicate a 13-3 season but we have the talent to pull it off. We need to take care of the intangibles. These are the things that seperate the champions from the chumps. These are the reasons why the Patriots are what they are.

One more mystery. Why didn't the Cowboys get TO involved in the 2nd Half? The Giants secondary was completely depleted and ripe for the picking.

Engagement Photos....You Decide

Over the Christmas break my sister kindly shot some Engagement photos for us. Several forced smiles and a long afternoon later we wound up with about 100 great shots of us.

The problem is that we are now having a hard time deciding on which photo to select. Here are some finalists...what say ye?

U2 with a sense of humor?

I always thought that U2 didn't introduce irony and humor into their act until the Zoo TV tour. This little gem from 1987 at least proved that the young U2 tried.




Speaking of a sense of humor. U2 letting Axl Rose peform with them. Now that's funny.

The thrill of the chase

Back in November we decided on Rome for our honeymoon. But those well intentioned thoughts quickly hit a brick wall with the realization that the dollar is as weak as Estelle Getty on a 3 day fast and international flight costs that go into the thousands of dollars. Undaunted and without a skymile to my name I ploughed forward. Our quest to spend our honeymoon in the company of Popes, Ceasars, and Gypsies was to be an uphill battle.

I've literally spent the last 3 months poring over countless travel search engines. I've looked at every possible scenario and every viable date. Some of the interesting insights:

• Affordable travel to Europe, particularly Rome, needs to be done in March at the latest. Between April and September the prices go up around 50%. These high prices carry on through Labor Day.


• Consider traveling to another cheaper city in Europe and then using a cheap regional carrier like Ryannair. In our case we will be flying through Frankfurt. Can you say Schznitzel?


• The best site for international travel that we found was http://www.vayama.com/. Easy to use, straight forward, transparent, and legitimate.

All in all we came away with two tickets to Rome for under a grand. My patience and perservanace paid off. That is quite a feat in this day and age of increase fuel taxes and ever increasing airline fees.

With this big initial road block out of our way we can now focus our attentions to Gelato, Trevi, David, and St Peter.

You don't get this in Iowa

Why do I quite enjoy the 11 hour drive from Phoenix to Salt Lake City? Sites like this, my friend, sites like this.

My Jodi Fair

My sweet heart with auburn curls
You make my heart swimmer swirl
When I’m with you I feel complete
Without you my heart skips a beat

Your sweeter then sugar sweet
Sunshine rays when our eyes meet
Your soft skin with a pale hue
How I got you I haven’t a clue

Please lend an ear to me
As I try to make you see
That you’re my chosen one
You’re my one sweet love

I sing and you listen to me
Even if I’m a tad out of key
Your precious smile offers so much
Almost as good as your warm, soft touch

Hand in hand almost all the time
You never let go, that’s a good sign
Your sweet lips plump and pink
Your infectious grin and your pretty wink

Please lend an ear to me
As I try to make you see
That you’re my chosen one
You’re my one sweet love

I count my lucky stars
Wondering how we got this far
With my weak words I try to show
That I never want to let you go

Please lend an ear to me
As I try to make you see
That you’re my chosen one
You’re my one sweet love

The First Noel through my ears

As an Elders Quorum we are creating a Christmas album. I selected the First Noel. I was struggling to perform and sing the song the traditional way. It has been performed so much better by so many other people. I wanted to look at the song from a different light and give it a different emotion.

It is very raw and was the first take. Bear with it....we only had one microphone. I uploaded it again...see if it works.

http://media.putfile.com/First-Noel-Take-2

Thanks for the crowns

My Dad retired over the weekend. To celebrate Dan hosted an open house in his honor. A great time was had by all. I was selected to give a brief roast. Text below.

-------------------------
From my vantage point, it appears our brother Dan has successfully muscled Dad out of the family business, but I suppose even the Corleones witnessed some change. Hopefully this change will be seamless and we won’t get Mo Green or the feds involved. Dan, or should I say, Don has asked me to spend a minute or two to offer a roast on my fathers behalf. No not the kind of Yankee pot roast that my dad faithfully prepared for his eight children for all of those years but the kind of roast that allows us to better understand and appreciate the Bruce that we all know and love.
Dad was a visionary in the field of dentistry. He came to a hamlet nestled in the Wasatch Mountains with a dream to providing a gentle touch and low cost dentistry to the cavity impaired population of Kaysville, Utah. The community flourished and their bright smiles could be seen from Roy to Salt Lake City. The Jensen name became known throughout the King Clarion community.
Now that singular vision and dream will be passed down to the first born. The old guard has been replaced by a new generation. The world Bruce Jensen entered as a young hot shot fresh from the University of Nebraska has changed dramatically. And now Bruce will step away from this world and never set his fingers in stranger’s mouth again.
- What does the future hold?
- Will Chris be able to share the house with Bruce?
- Is the yard big enough to keep my Dad occupied for 40 hours a week?
- Will the Jeff Jensen scholarship continue to exist now that its chief sponsor is no longer a contributing member to the tax base?
- Are there other realms that could benefit from a man with a gentle touch?
These are all pressing questions that will need to be answered in the weeks ahead. Dad, we will keep you in are hearts and prayers as you try to figure out what to do with yourself.

Let me take a few brief moments and devise possible activities for my Dad as he prepares to chart the course for the sunset years of his life.

1. You have always been a very meticulous and detail oriented man. We all remember the Chris Jensen Beanie Baby craze of 1997. Perhaps you could catalog the entire collection and get it appraised. You could then put these on E-Bay and use the proceeds from the sales to supplement your retirement income.
2. You have demonstrated a consistent culinary wizardry when it comes to preparing and cooking meats. Perhaps you could develop your own up scale marinade or, better yet, open Kaysville’s first BBQ restaurant.
3. Your middle son loves to explore the world. Now would be an opportune time to take him to South America, or Croatia, or Minsk.
4. Someone mentioned that you like to watch an occasional movie. Maybe you should consider using part of your basement to create a home theatre..
5. There’s always Golf. Wait....oh, never mind.
6. You have a condo at the base of Powder Mountain that hasn’t been used by anyone in like 7 years. You can go up there and see if it still exists.
7. It’s well documented that you have the “gentle touch”. There’s got to be a good way that you can use this skill in retirement. Perhaps a “Gentle Touch” massage parlor? Maybe a “Gentle Touch” line of soft fleece blankets. The possibilities are endless.
8. You can follow mom’s example and dote on the grand kids. Just remember the people who produced those grand kids.

It appears that retirement might not be such a bad thing after all. We think you might make it after all. We hope that you enjoy this well deserved respite.

LDS Feminists

One of my friends recently sent the following link, http://whatwomenknow.org, and asked for my thoughts. I suppose to better understand what it means you should read a recent General Conference talk given by Sister Julie Beck of the Relief Society and the carefully chosen words of the women who signed and issued the statement on the website.

While I agree with a lot of what was said I have to question the way in which these people issued their concerns. By going to the trouble of calling out a specific talk and then signing their names it seems like they've drawn a pretty strong and definite line in the sand. I couldn't help but think that there would have to be a better way to deal with these "slights" then to publicly call out someone like that.

I can sort of understand the motivations for these statements but I don't necessarily agree with them. It appears evident that these women feel that their chosen lifestyles have been called into question by the church. It seems like they want the church to confirm to their chosen lifestyle, not the other way around. I might be wrong but that's the way it appears. I have done this before but haven't gone to these lengths.

I don't know what is going to happen here. Maybe it will spur some debate within the church. Maybe some people will be censured. Maybe things remain the same. I doubt that. Members of the church are becoming more educated and more independent. It's almost as if the church is just one of many membership cards that we now hold.

New Song- "What I'd Say"

A fairly simple melody almost reminicent of Buddy Holly. An older piece that was almost set up as a conversation. One friend pleading with another to look past his hurt and move on.

http://media.putfile.com/What-Id-Say

It happened one night...

...well actually it was more of an early evening.

It's about time. The Jodi-Ryan courtship has gone on for too long and has been far too good without it leading to the ultimate conclusion. Love, engagement, marriage, and a long life full of happy moments.

With the aid of Heidi and Dave I set about my plan. The proposal took place at Camelback mountain at dusk. I threw enough misinformation at Jodi to successfully surprise her. Suffice to say it worked and we had an incredible evening that wont soon leave our rembrance. Enjoy a couple photos! (For more photos check the "repository" link)

No peace with the damn pigeons

One of the annual rituals that comes with living Phoenix is the fall planting of the rye grass. You see, we have the summer and the winter grass here. In the summer a hearty Bermuda grass grows. As the temperatures cool it goes dormant and people who want to preserve their yards have to plant a softer, greener rye grass.
And so like clockwork home owners spend their weekends in October and November making the transition. And as sure as the sun rises in the East their yards are pillaged by roving bands of pigeons, ready to gorge on the gluttony provided by the freshly sown seeds.
When I did this for the first time last year I decided to take a diplomatic approach. I planted my seeds but I also put an ample pile of leftover seed in my neighbors yard to serve as both a diversion and an offering of understanding. They would be fed but I would also have my yard.
That approach worked for nothing. The moment that I put down the manure to cover the seed I noticed a scout pigeon of in the distance on a neighbors roof. It almost appeared that the manure was a beacon, me turning on the neon "open" sign if you will. Within minutes about 20 pigeons landed on the house across the street and patiently waited for my departure.
I left and what ensued was a avian orgy of the worst variety. I returned home and was greeted by the sight of these pigeons gorging themselves and what was supposed to be my lawn. Bastards! They did not accept my offering. Their obesity also revealed that they weren't eating out of necessity but for pleasure.
I charged them in anger. They casually flew away and waited. I waited until they returned and then charged once again. They made a minimal effort and flew away. This act would repeat itself for the several days until what was left of the seed had sprouted.
Initially I tried to make peace with these birds. They haughtily rejected my offering. Now there is now peace between us. I have attempted to hurt them by hurling stones. They have responded by leaving turds on my car. I have cursed them in my human tongue. They have left turds in my lawn. I lost the upper hand.
They no longer bother me because there is no seed left. But this act will repeat itself next year. I have no doubt that those mongrels will get their share of my seed. But I intend to make them earn every last kernel.

Arizona on one tank of gas

Jodi and I decided that we needed to get out of Phoenix. This desire and the rental of a $1900 Canon 70-200 lens served as the proper impetus to get out and see some of Phoenix. Here is the ground that we covered in a 24 hour period. (More pictures are posted in the "my photo repository" on the right side column)

• Picacho Peak, home of the furthest west battle of the Civil War and the Nut Factory. http://www.pr.state.az.us/Parks/parkhtml/picacho.html



• The San Xavier Mission, the first and still active mission in Arizona. http://www.sanxaviermission.org/



• Bisbee, the onetime mining boomtown was once the largest city between St Louis and San Francisco. http://www.discoverbisbee.com/



• Tombstone, the legendary site of the OK Corral and now nothing more then a comercial theme park were everything has a price. http://www.cityoftombstone.com/



• Globe, another mining hamlet east of Phoenix in the famed Superstition mountains. http://www.globemiamichamber.com/

A new song

Follow the link below to another new song. I'm still not set on the title. Humor me and listen.

Click here to watch "Peace-comes-in-the-morning"

Another song

It's a bit old and speaks of another time. It's titled "I had a dream and it wouldn't end". I will be redoing the vocals but since I don't know when I will get to it I will post this.


Click here to watch 'I-had-a-dream-and-it-wouldnt-end'

Mr Jensen throws a stone at Washington

Rare is the occasion that I get involved in politics. I have a number of friends who have the "beltway" mindset but I enjoy my place on the sidelines. I have a few pet issues but the current situation in Washington has really soured me to the entire process.
I was casually watching a stump speech made by Hillary the other day. She was working a crowd up to a fever pitch with her talk of universal health care and the role that the government should play in making life better for the overlooked masses. While I agree with the sentiment that we should lift up the less fortunate through charity and assistance I have a hard time believing that it should come from the government. Then a thought came to my head..............

"I don't want the government involved in matters that I can resolve myself"

I want to keep government involvement at a minimum. I can make my own decisions regarding whether or not I will allow an abortion. I don't need the government to get overly intangled in matters that could better handled by the people alone. But I will rely on the government for matters that I can't individually impact. I will support government coverage in terms of infrastructure (highways, for example) or miltary protection. These are areas that it would make sense to rely on a larger entity to adequately bring to pass.

I just don't think that I should expect the government to provide for me in matters that I could handle myself. I think I'd do a better job. Thoughts?

What makes a road trip a ROAD TRIP?

We’ve been trying to do more road trips lately. There is much to see and we are always looking for excuses to pull out the camera. So far the results have been a mixed bag. Some trips have been spectacular while others have been spectacularly sucky. In an effort to create more of the former, I’ve compiled a list of the components necessary to making a road trip a success.

• Company- You can do a road trip alone but you can't do it with the wrong company. Good company leads to good conversation which leads to not caring that you are somewhere in a remote part of South Western New Mexico.


• Snack- You want something that can sustain you while not filling your bladder and making you more hungry. Almonds and string cheese are great candidates.


• Destination- You've got to have a nice goal at the end of the road to reward the journey; whether it be a hot tub in a nice lodge or campsite.


• Music- The right music can set the mood or get a good conversation going. Road trips are also a great place to sample some new tunes that you've been meaning to get to. But never forget the timeless standards such as "Joshua Tree".


• Comfortability- Nothing deflates an excursion quicker than a case of Monkey Bum. You don't want to be dealing with a numb butt when you should be taking in a scenic butte.


• Roadside Views- It's always nice to have the ability to pull of to the side of the road and quickly snap a few shots of a scenic vista or over look. Road side views take little effort and keep things fresh.


• Dives- You're in nowheresville, Montana and you're going to eat at a Subway? I think not. You need to try out the local establishments. It's a hit and miss affair but one that will more likely generate memorable outcomes then a combo meal.


• Local Flavor- Step off the beaten path. Visit the local market or square. If you are in Colorado City, Arizona then drive down a side street and admire the sturdy craftsmanship of the polygamist compounds. The point is, take the time to understand the people behind the place.


• Singularity of moment- Take notes, take pictures. Good moments like these are few and far between. Enjoy the ride because you will soon be back in traffic slowly pacing your way to a job that is only moderately satisfying.

Sugar Sweet Something

Here is one of my new songs for your listening pleasure. Click on the link below to sample


Click here to watch 'Sugar-Sweet-Something-Master'

self portrait

An open road and some string cheese

Arizona is a relatively diverse state and has a lot to offer in terms day trips and excursions. I’ve made it a goal to consistently explore all of the reaches of this the land of the Grand Canyon. We will often consult with local guides and recommendations from websites to ensure that we cover all of our bases.

We had an open Saturday and excitedly decided to follow a recommendation from the city of Mesa website. We embarked on the scenic loop that would take us through the Superstition Mountains to the historic Roosevelt Lake and then through Globe. This route would take us through the legendary saguaro covered foothills that define Arizona and then to the world’s largest Masonry dam and area that Teddy Roosevelt once called among the most beautiful on earth. We were excited and left fairly early.

We were absolutely captivated by the beauty of the Superstition foothills; rolling, red mountains covered with Saguaro, Cholla, and Prickly Pear. This is the vision of Arizona that I had as a kid watching and reading westerns. Things took a slight turn when we ran out of paved road 30 miles into the excursion.

The travel guide that we were following made no mention of dirt roads and weren’t expecting to take the Passat “off roading”. But your options are limited when you are in a remote desert and one direction to go. We pushed forward and covered some very remote and beautiful country. Unfortunately my camera battery died just as we were getting to the real pretty country. For being a published scenic route we encountered very few people. That was actually a good thing as the road was very narrow and we had a few dicey switch backs just south of the dam.

We eventually made it to the fabled dam and found the visitors center so that we could charge the battery. While there we learned about how cool the dam is and how Phoenix wouldn’t exist without it. We also struck up some small talk with the local park ranger. I was getting hungry and wanted to probe for a good local place that was an authentic representation of the community. We left with a charged camera, a renewed hunger, and a hearty recommendation for “Ma’s” just a few miles a way.

Eating at the local “dive” is definitely a high-risk, high reward proposition. If you don’t take the gamble on local spots you might miss out on some great experiences in dining. At the same time you might just get some bad recommendation made by some schmuck whose brother runs the kitchen of the restaurant.

Well our experience was more of the later. Jodi’s grilled cheese was akin to something a mom makes her kid on a rainy day. My chicken fried steak was heavy on the fry but light on the flavor. Not even the tub of gravy that accompanied it could help out. A few things you can always count on in these local diners.
- ¾ of the menu will consist of fried items
- The lettuce will always be iceberg
- There will be a picture of the owner holding a prize fish on the wall.
- Next to the picture will be a plethora of business cards advertising every MLM scheme available.
- You will know the first name of the waitress by the end of the stay
- Regardless of the meal you will always be glad you came. These local diners are truly the barometer of these little towns.

After our lunch we were pretty much tired. The treacherous dirt road dampened our enthusiasm. We skipped the desert museum and an archaeological site so that we could get home for a nap. Arizona is full of nice little day trips and hopefully the coming weeks will be filled with several more.

Studio Stuff

Lately I’ve been working on getting three or four of my songs recorded in a professional manner. It’s been an intriguing and very eye opening process. If things go according to plan I should have songs to post here shortly. Here are a few observations:

- Technology goes a long way these days. We are producing the songs using a program called Cubase. A solid understanding of this program is almost more valuable then a sound musical understanding. You can edit and alter effects and tracks to the smallest detail. This software really opens up possibilities to the throngs of amateur musicians, such as me, who are looking to get their stuff out.

- At the same time a great degree of precision and detail is needed to get a track to sound right. I’ve learned the hard way about the need to have a sense of rhythm and timing. When you are literally synching up the 15-20 individual tracks in a song you’ve got to get everything lined up so it sounds seamless.

- If you’re paying some dude $30/hr to help you out you need to have a clear vision of what the song should sound like. If you don’t clearly communicate the intended emotion and texture of the song you are wasting money and run the risk of getting a sound based on the producers understanding of what you wanted.

- Don’t try to add too many unnecessary layers or effects to the song. Only choose what adds the right emotion that you are going for. Don’t be enamored by all of the options, effects, and potential sounds and fall prey to the sirens song of putting too much into a song just for the sake of it. Some songs need little in the way of production others may need a lot.

Since I’m very new to this process you can take all of my observations with several grains of salt.

Solidarity on Southwest Flight 434

Flying on bargain airlines truly is a singular experience. Heck, flying in general these days is a new and ever changing experience. And no airline makes more of an impact then Southwest. Let me paint the picture...

I was due to leave SLC on the 12:30 flight. The airport is small and mid-afternoon flights are generally light. A great time to fly, no hassle. I appear on time and go through the normal obstacle course, making my way to my gate. Upon arriving I am greeted with some news. "Sorry, your flight has been cancelled due to mechanical issues." I was to be rebooked on a later flight. I saw my opportunity and asked for some kind of compensation. My demands were quickly rebuffed and my new flight was to leave an hour later.

I sat down, somewhat defeated, and sat in the appointed area. I asked around and found several over mildly annoyed passengers who had been pushed back. I would normally be competing and elbowing these people for the front of the line; now they were my allies and fellow martyrs. We banded together and went to Customer Service only to be pushed back again. And we waited.

Finally our time to board approached. As the line jockeying began we observed our plane. There was a crew outside working outside on its landing gear. Within minutes we got news that the plane had issues and that we were being pushed back again. This was the second plane with issues in less then an hour. Our mild annoyance turned into frustration.

Over the next two additional hours we followed the same routine. A poor employee would have to get on the intercom and inform us that things had been pushed back even more and that we would be getting more news in a bit. Another plane was finally rerouted and we left SLC about 3 1/2 hours later then promised.

During this waiting time I forged strong ties with the people in line. It's strange to think that during normal conditions I wouldn't make any kind of effort to strike up conversation with someone else. On the contrary, everyone seems so self involved, selfishly guarding their place and their personal space. But the minute that the passengers are wronged or the flight is delayed then we become a band of brothers fighting for our cause of fair passenger treatment. We are martyrs and fellow sufferers. We open up and before you know it I am shown pictures of some ladies grandkids. For those three hours we are family.

And the flight ends and we go about our own business. Flying truly is a strange experience. It is a great experiment in observing individual behavior and group dynamics. We can either see the best or worst in people when we watch them act around strangers.

In Search of Authenticity

Just an observation. We live in a time of virtual reality, unknown identities and disposable everything. This sense of transience has created an urge for things of authentic or vintage quality. We pay extra dollars for a set of furniture from Pottery Barn because it claims to be of the same quality of the furniture our grandparents had. We drop an extra dime on a pair of levis that has that worn and individual look. I spend $2 on a rootbeer in a bottle that looks like it came from 1955. It doesn't take an astute marketer to see that there are so many items that are sold under the "authentic" or "geniune" label. It almost seems like we are aching for authenticity in our lives. The kind of authenticity that can't come from a blackberry, myspace page, or on demand television.

Our lives are so frantic that we want to feel like we are rooted in something. The whole "authentic" or "vintage" movement that we see seems to be the response. These products or activities allow us to maybe recreate bygone memories or instill some sort of values. It's almost like we are jumping all over these nostalgic items because we want to go back to those times. This is our superficial way of kind trying to recreate a more authentic experience.


Am I the only one who sees this? Just an observation....

A saturday afternoon with the kids

So as part of the Washington Street foundation we visited the Cosanti Foundation grounds up in Paradise Valley. Cosanti and Arcosanti are both “ideally formed” communities that Italian architect Paolo Solari has been dreaming up in Arizona over the past 50 some odd years.

We were given a guided tour through the community by a middle-aged and starry eyed academic from Austin. He spoke in an incredibly esoteric manner, wore suspenders to hold up his sagging pants, and was an absolute evangelist for the building philosophies of Solari. The community itself looked like something that hobbits would have created should they have ever left the green, rolling hills of the shire for the Sonoran desert.

Evidently Solari was a prized pupil of the famed Frank Lloyd Wright. He believes that people and their building initiatives should be in harmony in nature. He is a strong opponent of the sprawl that we see in Phoenix and his Arcosanti community, 60 miles north of Phoenix, was developed to draw people closer together and drive cars out of communities. (http://www.arcosanti.org/) The word cosanti is derived from two Italian words- cosa, meaning thing; and anti, meaning before.

The community is maintained by a group of free thinking academics much like what you would have seen in the Berkeley area in the 1960’s. A lot of its operating revenue is generated by the sale of custom made bronze and ceramic bells that are made on site. They showed us how a kiln worked and walked us through the smelting process. I enjoyed myself and got wrapped in a couple of conversations regarding “arcology”, which is Soleri’s theory on how architecture and ecology should coexist.


Meanwhile the kids……wait, there are kids…….

Meanwhile the grandiose and idealized views espoused by our guide were completely lost on the 10 kids in the group. To their credit they quietly fidgeted and tried to pay attention. The guide didn’t even try to speak to the kids and help them understand the concepts. At least they got some lunch and got to swim afterwards.

More friendly visits

Since I pretty much have no friends and family in Phoenix I always welcome visits. Last week I welcomed both a cousin and a Greg to town. While both stays were briefy they did a nice job of breaking up the daily monotony.

It was a weekend full of football and interesting conversation. I'm just now realizing how much time I spend in devotion to the undisputed favorite sport of this great nation I would be more worried if I was the only one with this tendency. But it's pretty obvious that a good slice of our population is overly devoted to football. All you need to do is to take a random sample of housewives and girlfriends to ascertain the source of the strange change that most men make starting in late August. I mean between the ASU-Colorado game, BYU-UCLA game, Cowboys game, and misc. football commentary we probably spent 10 hours bowing down to the grid iron gods.

Beautiful Wedding Weekend

I spent a very memorable weekend up in Utah celebrating the wedding of Heidi. The effort that she put into the weekend - yes the whole thing lasted like 5 days- was incredible and her attention to detail is astounding.

Among the highlights of the weekend:

• Obtaining some Jensen pride on the dancefloor at LaCaille. It only took 30 seconds of "Thriller" before all of the inebriated guests bowed down to the sublime moves supplied by 10 perfectly sober Jensens.


• The manicured gardens at LaCaille were gorgeous and verdant. The Wasatch moutain backdrop gave the gardens an alpine scent. The buildings were very french and opulent. Heidi's embellishments and add-ons were incredible. For more pictures go to my "photo repository" link on the side of the page or visit http://www.heathergibbphotography.com/slideshows/slideshow.php?Slideshow=heidi+wedding.


• The wedding open house in Kaysville was more understated and casual but still well done. It was for a wider audience and neighbors. Dad spent hours generating brisket and wound up making around 15lbs. Everyone loved it and I think I caught Max Fraughton helping himself to 4ths.


• Throw in a few visits with friends, a Fantasy Football Draft, BYU win, and the weather and I must confess that I miss Utah.

The first performance

Earlier this year I set the goal to perform live by the end of August. With the self-imposed deadline fast approaching I decided to act. The location? The "Into the Bean" coffee shop just north of the Mesa Community college. The audience? About 20-25 some odd college aged kids present to catch some music, do some homework, and get the latest tips for Dungeons and Dragons. It was open mic night and full of possibility.

I opted to go with two songs. I would lead with my arrangement of the unheralded McCartney classic from the White Album, "Mother Natures Son". That song would fade and lead into one of my own numbers, "i had a dream and it wouldn't end." All in all the mood evoked would be somber and one of loneliness....the feelings that seemed so over powering in my life a year ago.

I had prepared the arrangement about three weeks and practiced it until I could play it blindfolded and in the dark. I even got the vocals to the point where I felt like I could successfully embellish certain lyrics. I was geared up and ready to go. Nothing big, right? Nothing to lose, perform in front of a few anonymous people and be done with it.

I was fine until about twenty minutes leading up to the performance. The kid in front of me did a splendid job with some of his songs and performed with poise and confidence. Meanwhile I was starting a feel some mild trepidation. I had to play the songs with a new guitar- mine didn't have the necessary pickups- and I had never sung into a mic while playing. The amplified vocals would definitely exacerbate any flaws in my singing. I was wavering when my name was called.

I introduced myself and the fact this was my first time doing something like this. The crowd was very understanding and their interest seemed to pique slightly when they heard this fact and saw that my nerves were becoming soft. I took a deep breath and went into the piece.

From the get go, the Beatles song was fraught with miscues. I played the tempo too quick and the vocals were off. I lost a little bit of confidence and lowered my voice, things were lost. Thankfully the song ended and I moved into my song. Things definitely improved as I was far more comfortable with my music then with hacking up an accepted classic. My vocals felt more natural and more emotion was released. I felt slightly better.

All in all the whole thing lasted about 8 minutes. The performance sounded so much worse then the countless times I practiced it in private, I blame that on nerves. I understand the big picture. This was nothing more then a small coffee house and not a spacious concert hall. But I am very glad to have done this and I think that I will do some more. I have overcome the first and most difficult hurdle. The first, and most difficult, step has been taken.

Why Phoenix, why not Prescott?

When I moved to Phoenix some 5 years ago I was plagued with one simple question. Why was this valley founded and settled? It is hot, arid, virtually waterless, and did I say hot? You can drive 40 miles in three directions and be in a perfectly habitable land that is 10 degrees cooler and more suited for living. I don't remember the answer locals give about why Phoenix and not Prescott was settled, something about Indians and the Salt River or something.

The riddle become deeper this past weekend as we made a weekend trip east of town to the Heber-Show Low area. It was a good 20 degrees cooler, verdant, open, and clean. This is the type of place that one could live in. It's odd because most of the state of Arizona is like this. The only place more hot and barren then the Phoenix valley is along the California-Arizona border.

Those Darn Medici's

So I've been reading "The House of the Medici" by Christopher Hibbert. While the book succeeds in taking a lot of the magical intrigue out of the powerful family it does do a good job of burying you in facts and names. In spite of the prosaic writing style I came away with a better sense of the Renaissance, the family, and of that time.

First things first, I was not surprised to see that the same themes that are uncovered when I read about Rome or Constantinople are also present here. Greed, power, and lust have been powerful forces in just about every civilization. I guess human nature is always human nature. This is still the case today although it seems somewhat covered in a shroud of restraint and civility.

Second, the level of corruption that was oozing out of the Vatican was astounding. Positions were bartered as means to buttress the power of certain families. Enemies were mercilessly killed. All of the sins that were so clearly condemned in scripture were being openly violated in front of the public eye. This is especially upsetting given the upcoming movie, "September Dawn" that is using shoddy facts and inclusive circumstantial evidence to paint Brigham Young as a murderous tyrant and the LDS church as cult like. Yes, the episode was horrible but it is irresponsible to draw those conclusions given the information available. I hate being demonized as a church for one episode for which there is no established tie and yet there are so many religions/groups with confirmed skeletons that are leveling these charges. Anyways...

Third, It is absolutely astonishing the this many influential figures came from one region and during one period of time. The list is long and includes names like: Botticelli, Da Vinci, Machiavelli, Michelangelo, Galileo, Donatello, and Brunichelli. It makes you wonder if there were many other equally impressive people in history who are forgotten because they didn't benefit from the incredible Medici PR machine that brought them prominence and immortality.

Something that came to me...

I was in church the other week when a story came to my mind. It seemed like an allegory or fable and was based on some thoughts and feelings that I had regarding certain things taking place in my life. The story definitely sounds familar and I'm sure that its moral has been shared through more effective prose and illustration.


Anyways, here it is.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dfzw7fqm_7f7c2cg

Our own New York Doll

About a year ago Garrett recommended that I watch a documentary called "New York Doll". It chronicled the unlikely journey of Arthur "Killer" Kane from his meteoric rise as the bassist of the New York Dolls to his fall from grace to his life reaching a destitute low to his baptism in the LDS church to his reunion performance with band that was spear headed by Morissey.

Well I finally watched it and was moved. The story was as compelling as anything out there and it was absolutely intriguing to see his new found life as a worker in the LA Temple geneaology center juxtaposed with his hard punk roots.

I am very surprised that this movie didn't get more play in the LDS community. It seemed like is was better received in the Sundance community than in mainstream LDS culture. It's kind of ironic because the culture is always clamoring for the latest rumor that ties together any kind of celebrity with the church, why was this so over looked?

I think we all failed to realize the sheer impact and influence that this band had on just about everything that we grew up listening to from Morrissey to Motley Crue to the Clash. Arthur was more a hero to members of the Rock N Roll community than members of the LDS community.

This is and was a great story. Hopefully everyone will get a chance to watch the show and appreciate his life.

(http://www.newyorkdollmovie.com/)

What shouldn't happen when two men get together

This past weekend I recieved a visit from an old childhood friend, Lennox. Growing up he was known as Robb, his given name. Some where along the way it changed; maybe he has a special affinity for the air conditioner that shares that name, maybe chicks find Lennox more attractive. Anyways, he was spending a few days with me and I had to play the role of host.
So we did the typical things meant to showcase the city. We got dinner at Pizzeria Bianco, the best pizza in America according to the New York Times. We got pistachio gelato. We went swimming. We went to a Diamondbacks games. And we went shopping......wait, what did I just say?
Yes, we spent the better part of Saturday visiting the myriad clothing stores in the valley. We both have vain tastes when it comes to clothing. I would typically abstain from a such a spree but my resolve is weak. We went to the "Last Chance" and sorted through all of that crap in search of a gem. I found a pair of pants that ripped down the seams when I put them on. Robb, err Lennox, found some used Alan Edmunds. Next we went to Kierland and my home away from home, Banana Republic. I found some splendid deals and won that battle. Robb then routed me in all our subsequent stops with purchases ranging from shirts to sun glasses. Heck, all that was missing from this excursion was lunch at a cafe and an afternoon getting our nails done.
Part of me is embarrassed to admit that I like clothes. Part of me is proud that I have taste and don't fall in line with the millions of men that are so poorly dressed in dockers and striped shirts.

Morning addendum

So I recently took my OCA (Oxford Capacity Analysis) or personality testing through the Church of Scientology. Here are a couple of links to give some background on the test. http://www.xenu.net/archive/oca/oca.html http://www.scientology.org/oca.htm

I was called back to review the results with an expert. For the most part I agreed with the test and felt that it adequately expressed how I currently felt about myself. It seemed about as effective as a Myers-Briggs, Birkman, or Kolbe test in terms of measuring ones personality.

We didn't discuss the results long because my expert wanted to dive right in and get me to get involved in several courses. It appears that this test is a gateway into the program and the myriad costs of the program. The church is run very much like a business and you are coaxed into programs with expensive price tags.

Needless to say, I declined her offer. I did appreciate the fact that she wasn't too pushy. She gave me a few reccommendations and left it at that. I have no intentions of becoming an L Ron Hubbard (by the way, his picture was everywhere and his name was on everything) disciple anytime soon. But I did in the very least quench some curiosity that I had about them.

Becoming what?

In church we recently had a lesson regarding change and resolution. I know, you’re thinking what is this theme doing in August? This is the type of discussion reserved for January and misguided goals. But the reality is this is a reality that needs to be faced early and often. There is no way to determine how we are doing relative to our goals unless we are measuring how far we’ve gone and how close we are to attaining them. Alright, enough Tony Robbins. Time to move on.
There was quote that really stuck with me. It reads as follows:

“Life must always be becoming, never being.”

I’ve read it several times and I completely agree with it. It’s what gets me up in the morning. It’s what provides the prodding guilt when I get complacent. It should be the raison d’etre of everyone. Anyone who isn’t moving is falling back. This isn’t new to anyone, so I’ll leave it at that.
The fun and challenging thing is determining what the “becoming” is. I imagine that it is different for everyone and depends on values, tastes, and interests. For me I’ve been able to determine what my “becoming” consists of. There is a little bit of everything. I’ve got the obvious choices that define my character and determine my career trajectory. Then I have the hobbies and worthwhile activities that bring a little additional satisfaction to my well being. All in all, these things comprise the essence of who I am.

The First annual under appreciated list

Let's face it, everyone loves lists. They engender animated discussions. They cause dissent. If I am casually watching TV and I see a promo for the 100 most beloved dogs in cinema history, I will probably watch. I don't know why, but we are drawn to them. So here is my list ....

The 2007 Ryan Jensen list of things that are overlooked and under appreciated

1. Comedy Movies- (The Cable Guy) This dark comedy that features the acting talents of Jim Carey and an under appreciated Matthew Broderick. It was written by Ben Stiller, who at the time was full of some very fresh ideas. It also showcased performances by then "unknowns" Jack Black and Owen Wilson. Completely overlooked. An honorable mention goes to Anchorman for giving us some of Will Farrell's finest moments. The movie was lacking in parts but there were some completely memorable one-liners. I had no idea what San Diego meant in German.
2. TV program- (CBS Sunday Morning) This is my chance to feel like I am a cultured and sophisticated part of society. This, PBS, and NPR are often my only chance to stay abreast of what is going on in areas outside of news, gossip, and sports. It is so refreshing to wake and not be greeted by politicians who berate one another.
3. Music- (Oingo Boingo) I think that the mainstream success of such 80's hits as "Dead Man's Party" and "Weird Science" obscured the far better material in the Boingo anthology. They were fresh, they were pure energy, their lyrics were quirky and envelope pushing. We enjoy your musical scores Mr. Elfman, but we sorely miss your rock sensibilities.
4. Song- (Made Up Love song #43- Guillemots) This is an absolutely sparkling love song that carries a heartfelt and carefree frivolity. It just sounds so pure and innocent. A great song that deserves recognition.
5. Virtue- (Fidelity) We live in an age where no respects the commitments they've made to one another. As one who has been personally affected by infidelity I can speak very strongly to the fact that it is a lost virtue.
6. Super Hero- (Green Lantern) Hats off to a dude who has to save civilization and fight bad guys with only a lamp. That takes true courage.
7. Candy- (Toblerone) While this candy might be considered a higher end specialty treat, I say that it deserves a place amongst the everyday bar. It does a perfect job of balancing the delicate ratio between creaminess and crunchiness.
8. Actor- (Don Cheadle) Just take a look at the roles that he has played over the last decade. He has moved seamlessly from comedy to drama and everything in between.
9. Beatles Song- (Two of Us) Such a simple and pure song that seems to reflect the joys of friendship during a time when the Lennon-McCartney partnership was coming to a close.
10. Clothing- (Cargo Pants) The male answer to the Capri pant. It is versatile, comfortable, and its ability to hold excess items is legendary.

This is just a start. Maybe I will post more later. Maybe you can post a few items that you don't feel get the necessary recognition.

The Flight of my Fancy

I’ll be the first to admit that there has been a void in my life ever since Fox prematurely pulled the plug on Arrested Development last year. That was the type of show that only comes around once every 3 or 4 years. It was my reason for watching TV, ray of laughter to bring sunshine to my otherwise monotonous life.
With its departure I pretty much accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to receive satisfaction from the TV for at least 2 years. There just isn’t anything to get excited about. Sure there are decent shows like “Office”, “30 Rock”, “Ali G” and “Scrubs” but they just didn’t have the same ability to get me into an excited conversation at the water cooler. I resigned myself to the fact that the few hours spent watching TV a week would be spent experiencing only moderate joy.
So I gave up a lot of TV (something that is fairly easy when you only have 4 channels) and I engaged in other pursuits. I wrote songs. I read books. I became more social. I took up photography. I even learned to knit….ok it didn’t go that fair. Well you get my point. TV just wasn’t the same.

That all changed three weeks ago.

I was in a casual conversation with a friend when he mentioned a great new show on HBO that he was watching called “Flight of the Conchords”. Knowing that great TV is hard to come by I let his recommendation fly in one ear and out the next. The next day on the radio my favorite personality put in a huge plug for the same program. Two endorsements from two trusted sources within 24 hours. Maybe there was hope. The deal was sealed no less the 14 hours later when we were having dinner with a couple from our neighborhood. Not more then 15 minutes into the conversation the husband brought it up. I was now committed to giving this show a chance. He was ready to share and already had a burned copy of the first 4 episodes for my viewing pleasure.
I have to admit that it took a couple of viewings before I truly got the hang of the brand of humor. It is the dead pan stuff that really resonates with the young, educated crowd to which I belong. The humor isn’t exceptionally complex but it has appeal to the refined senses.
Now there will never be a replacement for “Arrested Development”. I am fine with that. But I have also realized that there is more then one way to generate a laugh. From what I have seen of this show I strongly believe that it has the potential to be the “it” comedy for the foreseeable future. Hats off to my two new favorite Kiwi’s, Bret and Jemaine.

For the ignorant, here is the link- http://www.hbo.com/conchords/

Observations from a drug screen

I recently decided that I needed to invest in my community by doing some service. I wanted something out of the typical realm found in church. After a little bit of research I selected the Washington Street Foundation. (http://www.wsfkids.org)

I recently met the kid I will be tutoring and he is top notch. He is in fifth grade and has an incredible zeal for life. This should be a rewarding experience indeed. But before things begin I must pass through a few things to ensure that I am not crazy. One of those things was submitting to a drug test. Here are a few observations from my recent visit.

• All in all it seems like a simple task, right? Pee in a cup and then have some dude in a lab coat look at and confirm that I haven't been smoking doobies or something.
• Like any vestige of the Health Care industry there was a boring waiting room, a crowd, and a long wait. The only thing that made this scene slightly different was the sight of 15 grown men gulping down water and coffee in hopes of preventing stage fright once their time came to deposit their speciman.
• I camped into my seat and scanned the coffee table for a magazine. My options were either." Deciding that I wasn't that desperate I decided to read over the shoulder of the gentleman next to me who was reading the sports page.
• After 20 minutes I was summoned to the front. I was surprised that things were moving so quickly. That amazement was soon extinguished as the real reason for the summons was revealed. I needed to sign a new battery of forms. After 20 more minutes I was called up again. Yep, more papers to sign. All this for a little pee?
• By now the room is really full and no one has been summoned. And to my amazement, no one is surprised or complaining. We've just come to expect this kind of inefficiency.
• After an hour I was finally called. I was sent back with a lady nurse who asked me to empty my pockets. In a robotic and monotone manner she walked me through the drill. I had 4 minutes to take care of my business.

After 90 minutes my routine task was finally completed. I went about my about my daily routine. Sometimes it takes a crowded and long morning in a smelly waiting room to recognize how grateful you are that the rest of your life runs efficiently.

The Secret. What secret?

We were recently swimming at the house of a friend of a friend. The house was fairly nice and we were soon escorted around. I’ve learned that people really love to show off their toys and prized possessions; I don’t mind obliging. My favorite spot to visit is typically the office or study. It gives me some interested insights into the true nature of the inhabitants.

This place was no exception. It didn’t take long at all before I was able to get a solid read. The place was littered with the latest “self-help”, “get rich”, and diet books that currently were flooding the market. The types of books that teach you how to look great, make a ton of money, and influence people…that sort of thing. And much to my unsurprised a copy of “The Secret” (www.thesecret.tv) held a central spot along the sparsely populated bookshelf.

Next to the copy of the book was a bulletin board. The board was covered in several pictures. What were they? There was a big picture of a BMW. There was a picture of a very physically attractive female. There was a large mansion that looked like it would have fit in right off of Sunset Blvd. And then there was a homemade check for $1,000,000 that was made out to the owner of the house.

Once again this didn’t surprise. A year ago the only place that you could find a copy of “The Secret” was in a new age book store. Now it is a best seller and can be found anywhere from a grocery store to a Costco. The premise of the book is so simple that it is baffling. The “Law of Attraction” has been a closely guarded secret throughout the ages and is responsible for the success of the leading figures in history. It has only recently been publicly available.
What is this law and what does it teach? Basically, keep a positive attitude. Think positive and you will attractive good things. The same goes with bad thoughts. The big example used in the book and DVD is something like this. Wake up in the morning and believe that you are a millionaire. These consistent thoughts will attract money to you. Do you understand the mass appeal now?

I can’t help but draw a correlation but this book and the whole Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) culture. Both talk about an easy and attainable path towards finding happiness. I’m certainly not against the desire for improvement. But I do have a hard time with claims of grandeur and then vague descriptions on how to attain it.

I definitely believe in fulfillment and thinking positive. I don’t know anyone who isn’t. But I am against the notion of a quick buck because I don’t think that it’s realistic. I can dream all I want of having the perfect house and body but nothing will happen until I draw up a specific plan and then actually get off my canal to achieve it.

This book is successful because it taps into the essence of our culture. We all want the good life but we want the easiest road to it. Our vision of the good life is incredibly shallow and our idea of how to get it is way too lazy and unrealistic.

Whoa….I just noticed that I was standing on a soapbox. That’s enough preaching for one night. I’ve got to run over to the car dealership and drool over the new BMW 540.

The rediscovery of Ryan

I’m currently in between work right now. This presents a great opportunity to take advantage of hobbies and pursuits that typically get left behind by bills, work, and daily crap. As it currently stands I have about 1 ½ days a week that I don’t have to devote to grown up, responsible activities. Here are some of my latest endeavors.

· Kundalini Yoga- I like to discover things that are off the beaten path. The Sikh temple that occupies my neighborhood is one such place. The local Sikh community is somewhat interesting in that half off it comprises the real, turbaned Sikhs from India and the other half is a group of bohemian hippies who have latched on to the teachings. This dynamic is pretty interesting and makes for some great yoga. I typically go once or twice a week and I find that it supplements regular exercise very well. (http://www.yogaphoenix.com/) Plus I get to be taught by cool cats like Sevak. (Pictured left)
· Scientology fun- I like to seek out things that are somewhat new and different. This keeps things fresh and helps me be somewhat informed and objective. Scientology has been constantly hacked from the media; I am interested to see if it is warranted. This week I intend to take a 45 minute personality test at the local offices. I really have no idea what this lead other then a chance to take a peak at a religion that inspired John Travolta to make one of the worst pieces of cinema in the last 20 years. If anything the experience will make for some interesting dinner conversation.
· Photography- I recently purchased a Canon Rebel and taking photos has never been the same. Phoenix is full of nice day trips that provide many get back drops from which to test my burgeoning skills. I have taken a somewhat artistic approach and prefer landscape and architecture as my primary subjects. You can visit http://picasaweb.google.com/ronifer to view some of my recent stuff.

Why do I love the Phoenix Library?

I have a few friends who question my regular habit of getting work done at the local library. They insist that there are weird people there and that it’s too noisy or crowded to get things done. My retort is simple and straightforward. By getting out of the house it formalizes whatever work I was pursuing and I get free internet. Plus, where else am I going to have the opportunity to be harassed by a deranged man while reading.

My own Bluth Boy Adventure
(But minus the other boy and with a girl friend)

We recently found ourselves in Southern California again. We were staying just outside of Laguna Beach, minutes away from the Bluth residence. (For the novice and ignorant: The Bluth family are the key protoganists in the best television program of the last 10 years- Arrested Development) We had a little time to kill so I decided that we needed to get a frozen banana.

It only took us 10 minutes to find out that the show wasn’t filmed in Orange County, where it is supposedly set. It was rather filmed in the more economical and convenient location of Marina del Rey and Culver City, just west of LA. What the heck, let’s make the trip.

The easiest spot to visit would be where the banana stand was located. According the the flirty lady at the Marina del Rey information booth it was at fishermans wharf. Sure enough, she was right. We went over there, took some shots, and talked to a few people who were around during the shooting.

The visit was great but it still hasn’t filled the void created when the show left the air over a year ago. I have all three seasons on DVD but it sucks not knowing that there won’t be anything fresh, I was particularly hoping to see who would go with Lucille to Mother Boy XXXI. Nonetheless it was a good run and in closing I will include a few favorite lines from the series. Feel free to post a few of your own.

Gob: Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother, Tio. Spanish actor: Como? Gob: Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right.

--
Michael Bluth: Do you know what they do to people who commit treason? George Sr.: First time. Michael Bluth: I've never heard of a second. George Sr.: I got the worst [bleep] George Sr.: -ing attorneys.

--
Michael: I burned it. Down to the ground. George Sr.: There was money in that banana stand. Michael: Well, it's all gone now. George Sr.: There was $250,000 lining the inside walls of the banana stand. Michael: What? George Sr.: Cash, Michael. What the hell did you think I meant when I said... [strangles Michael] George Sr.: [yells] There is money... in... the banana stand. Prison guard: [George Sr. quickly takes his hands off Michael] No Touching. George Sr.: No touching. Prison guard: No touching.

--
Steve Holt: I've made a huge mistake. Gob: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more. Steve Holt: I won't forget this... Dad. Gob: [swallows roofie] I will. I will.

--
Narrator: In an effort to "hip" up his act, Gob had briefly introduced a puppet. [Gob is acting as a black puppet named Franklin in front of the family] Gob: [as Franklin] Can I tell you something, my man? Gob: [as himself] Sure, Franklin. Gob: [as Franklin] You are one cool [bleep] Gob: . Speaking of mothers, let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. [the puppet 'kisses' Lucille] George Sr.: Get off my wife, you bastard. [strangles Franklin] Gob: [as Franklin] What's the matter with you? Gob: [in the present] Franklin said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear. Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act? Gob: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.

--
Michael: What do you think of when you hear the name, "Sudden Valley"? George Michael Bluth: Salad dressing. But I don't really want to eat it. Michael: What about, "Paradise Gardens"? George Michael Bluth: Yeah... I can see myself marinating a chicken in that...

--
Buster: Mom is becoming a little controlling. Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again? Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a Graham Cracker out there. Michael: You baited the balcony? Lucille Bluth: Prove it.

--
Lucille Bluth: Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out? Gob: She's not "*that* Mexican," Mom, she's "*my* Mexican." And she's Colombian or something.

--
Michael: [discussing evidence that links George Sr. to Saddam Hussein] If this information was so damaging, why didn't you just shred it? George Sr.: Well, Saddam owed us money. Michael: And you didn't realize that he wouldn't pay? George Sr.: Your mom had a good feeling about him.

--
Lindsay Funke: Barry, did you talk to a doctor? Barry Zuckerkorn: I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? How the hell did I get that? [Cut to a shot of a rest area] Lucille Bluth: She was talking about George. Barry Zuckerkorn: Oh, he's the same. Look, I guess we should decide on who's going to speak for the family. I would, but I have Laker tickets. [Cut to a shot of the rest area]

--
George Michael Bluth: Don't you always say "family first"? Michael: Yes, I do. But that is not a family. Okay? They're a bunch of greedy, selfish people who have our nose. And Aunt Lindsay. George Michael Bluth: She's not my real aunt? Michael: Not her real nose. Got a picture of her when she was 14 in a swimming cap. She looks like a falcon.

--
Lucille: Buster. Thank God you're back. There's no shame in being a coward. Buster: A coward? I'm not a coward. Would I coward have THIS? [holds out a stuffed seal] Lucille: What the hell is that? Buster: These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship and the gorilla is for sand racing.

Getting our red lights turned on

The Police (Dodger Stadium)

June 23rd, 2007

Ever since the Police announced their reunion tour in February I toyed with the idea of seeing them live. Their music left a big mark on my teenage years and I was always told that they generated a great energy live. The deal was sealed when my very persausive friend held out some good tickets in front of my face. Not one to turn down a good concert, nor a chance to be with friends; I decided to go. After all, this could be the only time that I ever get a chance to hear "Invisible Sun" live.

So I set out with three life long friends to the sunny and mild clime (relative to Phoenix) of Southern California. We would spend the day at the beach and then pass the evening at the concert. Our expectations weren't too high; the real treat was listening to the songs with the same kids that made them special to me.

The evening didn't get started with the band that we'd hoped. That can be blamed on the bumper to bumper gridlock that we were subjected to for about two hours. My heart goes out to the poor people who have to deal with LA on a regular basis. I mean, 25 miles in two hours? The insanity. We were stuck on this elaborate concrete labyrinth and every route we took was frought with Toyotas and Hondas. Luckily our dash board navigation system helped us find a surface street that shaved 30 minutes off the tail end of the drive. With our spirits bouyed we parked our car in the red light district and made the trek up to Chavez Ravine, home of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Since it is LA every thing was behind. We were suprised that we only missed the first half of the Foo Fighters performance. I kind of feel bad for the band. You are a grammy winning band and you are playing in front of a half full stadium of people who came to see some old guys sip geritol and play hits from 25 years ago. I did enjoy the three songs that we heard and I didn't feel too bad because I've already seen those guys live.

It was time to start the show. With our $6 dodger dogs in hand we prepared for the grand entrance. Finally the lights dimmed and our experience commenced. I believe that they started off with "Don't Stand". I'm not certain because I was distracted by the gossiping, pot-smoking chicks behind us. There were alot of those kinds of people around. The Police are "in" right now. Being "in" attracts that kind of crowd.

The band played through hit after hit without changing instruments or making stops. Pretty suprising considering their age. They sounded fairly tight and kept the songs basic. I noticed that they changed the key and tempo of many songs. I didn't mind too much but I believe that some nearby purists were upset. Too be honest, I wasn't exceptionally impressed with the new arrangements. Sting still managed to get the crowd to sing the chorus on just about every song.

The concert ended after approximately two hours. Long enough to cover most hits but too short to delve into some of their obscure stuff. My expectations were met. I wasn't expecting to be blown away and I wasn't. But I did enjoy my time and the company. Now I can say that I've seen the Police. I do hope that this is only a one time tour and that they don't milk a few more milllion dollars out of fans for years to come. In my opinion you are only entitled to one "greatest hits" tour. I would feel completely ripped off if they keep touring without any new material. Damn, the Stones, Neil Diamond, and the Eagles for setting such a bad example.