Thanks for the crowns

My Dad retired over the weekend. To celebrate Dan hosted an open house in his honor. A great time was had by all. I was selected to give a brief roast. Text below.

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From my vantage point, it appears our brother Dan has successfully muscled Dad out of the family business, but I suppose even the Corleones witnessed some change. Hopefully this change will be seamless and we won’t get Mo Green or the feds involved. Dan, or should I say, Don has asked me to spend a minute or two to offer a roast on my fathers behalf. No not the kind of Yankee pot roast that my dad faithfully prepared for his eight children for all of those years but the kind of roast that allows us to better understand and appreciate the Bruce that we all know and love.
Dad was a visionary in the field of dentistry. He came to a hamlet nestled in the Wasatch Mountains with a dream to providing a gentle touch and low cost dentistry to the cavity impaired population of Kaysville, Utah. The community flourished and their bright smiles could be seen from Roy to Salt Lake City. The Jensen name became known throughout the King Clarion community.
Now that singular vision and dream will be passed down to the first born. The old guard has been replaced by a new generation. The world Bruce Jensen entered as a young hot shot fresh from the University of Nebraska has changed dramatically. And now Bruce will step away from this world and never set his fingers in stranger’s mouth again.
- What does the future hold?
- Will Chris be able to share the house with Bruce?
- Is the yard big enough to keep my Dad occupied for 40 hours a week?
- Will the Jeff Jensen scholarship continue to exist now that its chief sponsor is no longer a contributing member to the tax base?
- Are there other realms that could benefit from a man with a gentle touch?
These are all pressing questions that will need to be answered in the weeks ahead. Dad, we will keep you in are hearts and prayers as you try to figure out what to do with yourself.

Let me take a few brief moments and devise possible activities for my Dad as he prepares to chart the course for the sunset years of his life.

1. You have always been a very meticulous and detail oriented man. We all remember the Chris Jensen Beanie Baby craze of 1997. Perhaps you could catalog the entire collection and get it appraised. You could then put these on E-Bay and use the proceeds from the sales to supplement your retirement income.
2. You have demonstrated a consistent culinary wizardry when it comes to preparing and cooking meats. Perhaps you could develop your own up scale marinade or, better yet, open Kaysville’s first BBQ restaurant.
3. Your middle son loves to explore the world. Now would be an opportune time to take him to South America, or Croatia, or Minsk.
4. Someone mentioned that you like to watch an occasional movie. Maybe you should consider using part of your basement to create a home theatre..
5. There’s always Golf. Wait....oh, never mind.
6. You have a condo at the base of Powder Mountain that hasn’t been used by anyone in like 7 years. You can go up there and see if it still exists.
7. It’s well documented that you have the “gentle touch”. There’s got to be a good way that you can use this skill in retirement. Perhaps a “Gentle Touch” massage parlor? Maybe a “Gentle Touch” line of soft fleece blankets. The possibilities are endless.
8. You can follow mom’s example and dote on the grand kids. Just remember the people who produced those grand kids.

It appears that retirement might not be such a bad thing after all. We think you might make it after all. We hope that you enjoy this well deserved respite.