The first performance

Earlier this year I set the goal to perform live by the end of August. With the self-imposed deadline fast approaching I decided to act. The location? The "Into the Bean" coffee shop just north of the Mesa Community college. The audience? About 20-25 some odd college aged kids present to catch some music, do some homework, and get the latest tips for Dungeons and Dragons. It was open mic night and full of possibility.

I opted to go with two songs. I would lead with my arrangement of the unheralded McCartney classic from the White Album, "Mother Natures Son". That song would fade and lead into one of my own numbers, "i had a dream and it wouldn't end." All in all the mood evoked would be somber and one of loneliness....the feelings that seemed so over powering in my life a year ago.

I had prepared the arrangement about three weeks and practiced it until I could play it blindfolded and in the dark. I even got the vocals to the point where I felt like I could successfully embellish certain lyrics. I was geared up and ready to go. Nothing big, right? Nothing to lose, perform in front of a few anonymous people and be done with it.

I was fine until about twenty minutes leading up to the performance. The kid in front of me did a splendid job with some of his songs and performed with poise and confidence. Meanwhile I was starting a feel some mild trepidation. I had to play the songs with a new guitar- mine didn't have the necessary pickups- and I had never sung into a mic while playing. The amplified vocals would definitely exacerbate any flaws in my singing. I was wavering when my name was called.

I introduced myself and the fact this was my first time doing something like this. The crowd was very understanding and their interest seemed to pique slightly when they heard this fact and saw that my nerves were becoming soft. I took a deep breath and went into the piece.

From the get go, the Beatles song was fraught with miscues. I played the tempo too quick and the vocals were off. I lost a little bit of confidence and lowered my voice, things were lost. Thankfully the song ended and I moved into my song. Things definitely improved as I was far more comfortable with my music then with hacking up an accepted classic. My vocals felt more natural and more emotion was released. I felt slightly better.

All in all the whole thing lasted about 8 minutes. The performance sounded so much worse then the countless times I practiced it in private, I blame that on nerves. I understand the big picture. This was nothing more then a small coffee house and not a spacious concert hall. But I am very glad to have done this and I think that I will do some more. I have overcome the first and most difficult hurdle. The first, and most difficult, step has been taken.