What does your car say about you?

So I’ve spent the last three weeks looking for a new car. My visits to ESPN.com have been supplanted by exotic searches in Auto Trader designed to find me the hidden deal that will end all hidden deals. Well? Three weeks into this thing and I can tell you a whole lot about the car buying process or about German engineering but I still don’t have a car to call my own.

My problem? I can’t seem to decide on a specific car. I am in search of “the deal”. The result is that my searches are all over the board. I fall in love with one car and just as soon as the love begins to blossom a new chrome vixen comes storming into the picture. One of the positive side effects of this exercise in futility is that I get a pretty good sense for the brand perception and identity of each car. Here is my attempt at profiling the typical driver of the following cars.


Acura Guy- The car for a person who is practical, pragmatic, and likes to get to the bottom line. He respects value and performance but he isn’t driven necessarily by style or the need to impress his peers. He is the type of guy who wears his Blackberry on his belt on a holster and likes his button down shirts pressed but plain.

BMW Guy- This dude has got something to prove. He might be a little younger and he is out to show the world that he’s got edge, moxie, and means. He’s the type of guy that shops at Banana Republic and isn’t afraid to admit to being a metro sexual. He doesn’t need refinement and he wants to feel his ride as it makes its way down the highway.

Mercedes Guy- This guy might come from generational wealth. He wears a cardigan and he likes it. He likes performance but not at the expense of a smooth and refined ride. Where the BMW guy might be new to his status this guy owns a Mercedes because it says that he’s been here for awhile.

Volkswagen Guy- This guy likes to steer clear of the beaten path. He values quality and he most certainly prefers a Mac. He deals more in creativity and he laughs at the dude wearing the Dockers who happens to be driving the Acura. He wonders what the guys in the Mercedes and BMW’s are trying to prove. He likes his little unique corner of the world.

Lexus Guy- This guy thinks like Acura guy. But he also thinks he’s cooler. He wants the quality Japanese engineering with some of the cachet of the German brands. Whereas the Acura guy will quietly enjoy his drive, Mr. Lexus will vocally set out to prove to the other guys why their car purchases were wrong.

Jaguar Guy- This fellow is looking for his car to provide a little sex appeal. He might get mocked by the other guys for this. His judgment is also questioned by them as they wonder why he would want to drive a car that can’t hold its value. He doesn’t care; he’s just out to score.

Range Rover Guy- This guy is just out to flaunt his wealth. He says ‘to hell’ with fuel efficiency, practicality, and resale value. He might actually take this car up to the mountains….well at least to the Ski Resort. Even though this machine was designed for the Serengeti, the closest this guy will take this car to the rough outdoors is through the speed bumps outside the nearest wine bar.

Honda Accord Guy- This guy likes the club but kids, family, and life sort of got in the way. He’s not disappointed though because, while he gave up a little on the brand, he certainly gets most of the perks that the other guys have in their rides. He’s very practical and he’s not gonna put his family in debt just so he can look cool in the Safeway parking lot. He’s not even going to be at the Wine bar, Health Club, Discothèque or other hotspots that the other dudes frequent so he’s not too worried about image.