Despite the changing times we live in a society that has pretty well established gender roles and expectations. Irregardless of whether or not you feel that the glass ceiling has been broken there is still a pretty strong consensus towards what is expected of each gender. Why all this babble about gender? Because Football season has started and I am beginning to question my ability to hold up the mantle as a "man".
Sure I love sports. I love women. I like cars. I grow body hair. But am I man as defined by the expectations of U.S. male culture? I believe that there are several characteristics that we expect of our men and I'm not sure that I pass muster. If I were to make a checklist of these expectations it would probably read something like this.
- Golf: As men age and their abilities to play real sports diminishes it is expected that they take up golf and immerse themselves in its culture. This includes planning trips around golf courses, talking about things like "Big Bertha", wearing hideously boring golf shirts, and considering golf the de facto activity at every guys only events. I'm sorry but I'm more willing to shave my chest then to pay tributes to altar of golf.
- Ability to quote from certain movies: Men are expected to emulate the tough guy images that hollywood gives us. It starts when we are boys with Han Solo and slowly matures to characters like Dirty Harry and whatever the heck John Wayne was in. And then to prove our manlihood we are expected to quote extensively from these movies that have come to define American Masculinity. "Godfather" anyone? Good movie, yes....but gatekeeper to the inner sanctum of manhood, hardly. I'm also expected to know every line uttered by Al Pacino, especially his so seminally violent work, "Scarface". Yes I've seen several movies by John Wayne and yes I think that James Stewart was a better actor and role model.
- Meat/beer: Evidently the food pyramid doesn't apply to the man's man. It looks more like a hot dog. He is expected to eat meat in all of its glorious forms and beer is his trusted liquid companion. He is expected to ridicule those weak souls who give into such idiocy as balanced diets. On this one I will have to blame my religion. My adherence to its doctrine has singlehandedly weakened my case in becoming a real man. (Authors Note: My sobriety in no way prevents me from enjoying some of the better beer related commercials, especially those provided by the Dos Equis guy.)
- Calendar Girls: A real man grew up with images of Kathy Ireland and Farrah Fawcett on their walls and has become indoctrinated in breasts and bums. Sure I am attracted to those things as well but my inability to become fixated on those things probably keeps me out of the man club. I have no desire to subscribe to Maxim despite of the fact that they have "good articles".
- Cars: Of course I like cars. But a real man is expected to love cars. I should know how many pistons are under my hood. I am expected to drool when I see a finely tuned Italian or American muscle car drive by. Since I only like and don't love cars I suppose that I suck as a man.
- Low Brow Humor: As a true man there a certain set of expectations when it comes to what I should find funny. I am supposed to make fun of the more cerebral comedies such as "Arrested Development" in favor of the more base works of people like Adam Sandler or Tim Allen. There is no need to think when there are still so many new ways to spin a fart, boob, or vomit joke. There are some actors/movies that straddle the fence....think Will Farrell. But a man's man will prefer his work in "Old School" and ignorantly overlook the genius exuded in "Anchorman".
6 comments:
You have proven it Jens. You are No Man.....Neither am I when I think of it. So, how do I explain all these kids?
This is a really interesting article. I guess the only thing I can say (seeing as I am a member of the church as well), that the world's view of "real" manhood differs from the Lord's view. In fact, the world's view on gender roles and relationships is something that continues to evolve. Who knows whether later on there will be enough men out there who end up having the same views as you, and then your behaviour becomes the new defintion of how the "real" man should be?
Jens, you forgot just one thing... Real men don't eat quiche.
Well Ferg, I qualify there. Maybe I'm more man than I thought. Raymond, interesting thoughts. I too have noticed that gender expectations have experienced quite an evolution over the last few years.
Yeah..... For example, as a drama student, we're learning all about how attitudes towards gender in theatre have evolved over time. Back in Shakespeare's day, studying drama was considered the "manly" thing to do, and women were not encouraged to perform on stage. These days, acting is considered the "girly" thing to do, as there are more women studying drama then there are men. Plus, back then, the women on stage were portrayed to be "the damsel in distress", the one who is always vulnerable, whereas feminism now plays a significant role in theatre, as we see more heroines emerging. So yes, ideas on gender role and relationships are always changing...
Amen to the Jimmy Stewart comment, he blows John Wayne out of the water. Although I'd be hard pressed to determine who was the better actor between James Stewart and Gregory Peck, my two favorite classical actors. Gregory Peck's performance as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird earned him the #1 spot on AFI's 100 all-time greatest movie heroes list, and he was the only one in the top 10 that never actually used violence or struck someone.
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