Third World Fraud

The search for a new car finally ended. The journey was fun and we encountered the full gamut of deals ranging from decent to laughable. But the most fun part along the way was encountering the scammer that waits on the net ready to pounce on the unsuspecting chump who falls trap to the “unbelievable deal.”

Fortunately for me I was able to spot these scams. Actually it would take a completely naïve fool, on par with Woody Boyd to mistake one of these things for reality. If a car is advertised at 60% below Blue Book and you aren’t giggling then you deserve to have your money siphoned off to some warlord in Namibia.

There is something, however, that we can do to, not only combat this fraud, but have fun with it. This is called Scam baiting. And for those of us with a sense of humor it is a great way to level the playing field. Let me give you an example.

So we’ve been looking for a BMW X5. We’ve searched long and hard and have a very good idea of what the current market is for this vehicle. So when we found a 2007 X5 4.4 with 10,000 miles at an astounding price of $15,000 (KBB is roughly $50k) we knew we had found the bait.

We took the bait, responded, and waited for the fun. Sure enough within a day we got the following response.

Hello there,I am glad to hear that you are interested to buy my 2007 BMW X5 4.8I V8 FI DOHC 32V. Although I am registered in US, but I recently moved in Portugal (where my family is from) and the car is being shipped from here.The car is in a perfect cosmetic and engine conditions, and meticulously maintained. No damage, no scratches or dents, no hidden defects, never been into accidents and it is as advertised. I bought this car from US but when i tried to register it here in Portugal they said that i can't register it because it's an US vehicle and we have to do serious engine modifications in order to comply with the EU emission standards. As I said before, it is an US model (which complies with the american emission standards) and Europe regulations are different, also the fees to register it here in Portugal would be around 15,800 euros.I want to sell it in US because the car is still registered there.The price is low because here in Portugal nobody wants to buy it and so instead of keeping it in garage I decided to sell it to someone back in US.As no one will buy a car from overseas instead of local one only if the price is really attractive.The car comes with clear title, it is free of loan and liens.You will get from me the keys and all documents to register the car on your name.The finacial part of this deal will be manage by the shipping company and in this way both buyer and seller are 100% covered during the steps of this transaction.It will be insured during transportation and will be delivered at your address in maximum 15 days.Final price is $ 15,500 (the price includes shipping to US and insurance fees).Let me know if you want to move forward.Thank you!

Yes! We struck gold. This entry contained the classic signs of a baiter. The car was no longer in the country. The new country just didn’t value the car and the owner was forced to sell it at below market values. You are told to deal with a third party.

We decided to take action and call him out by telling him that in an absolute sign of good fortune I was planning to visit Portugal and I would like to arrange to visit the car in person. Naturally the response was that the car was unavailable for view. As it stands right now we are going to try and get our fraudulent friend to send us a picture of him with the car as a good faith gesture.

So if there is a moral to this story it’s this. Have fun with the people trying to bilk innocent people of their money. Don’t let them have the last laugh.

Addendum #1: It should be noted that I once fell for this scam back in 2005. It took a few days and a few people calling me an idiot before I came to my senses and realized that it was all smoke and mirrors. So, apologies to Woody Boyd.

Addendum #2: We are now in the shipping phase of the process. We were sent actual account information that we are to wire our money to and information on a shipping company called, Best Global Cargo Ltd.

What does your car say about you?

So I’ve spent the last three weeks looking for a new car. My visits to ESPN.com have been supplanted by exotic searches in Auto Trader designed to find me the hidden deal that will end all hidden deals. Well? Three weeks into this thing and I can tell you a whole lot about the car buying process or about German engineering but I still don’t have a car to call my own.

My problem? I can’t seem to decide on a specific car. I am in search of “the deal”. The result is that my searches are all over the board. I fall in love with one car and just as soon as the love begins to blossom a new chrome vixen comes storming into the picture. One of the positive side effects of this exercise in futility is that I get a pretty good sense for the brand perception and identity of each car. Here is my attempt at profiling the typical driver of the following cars.


Acura Guy- The car for a person who is practical, pragmatic, and likes to get to the bottom line. He respects value and performance but he isn’t driven necessarily by style or the need to impress his peers. He is the type of guy who wears his Blackberry on his belt on a holster and likes his button down shirts pressed but plain.

BMW Guy- This dude has got something to prove. He might be a little younger and he is out to show the world that he’s got edge, moxie, and means. He’s the type of guy that shops at Banana Republic and isn’t afraid to admit to being a metro sexual. He doesn’t need refinement and he wants to feel his ride as it makes its way down the highway.

Mercedes Guy- This guy might come from generational wealth. He wears a cardigan and he likes it. He likes performance but not at the expense of a smooth and refined ride. Where the BMW guy might be new to his status this guy owns a Mercedes because it says that he’s been here for awhile.

Volkswagen Guy- This guy likes to steer clear of the beaten path. He values quality and he most certainly prefers a Mac. He deals more in creativity and he laughs at the dude wearing the Dockers who happens to be driving the Acura. He wonders what the guys in the Mercedes and BMW’s are trying to prove. He likes his little unique corner of the world.

Lexus Guy- This guy thinks like Acura guy. But he also thinks he’s cooler. He wants the quality Japanese engineering with some of the cachet of the German brands. Whereas the Acura guy will quietly enjoy his drive, Mr. Lexus will vocally set out to prove to the other guys why their car purchases were wrong.

Jaguar Guy- This fellow is looking for his car to provide a little sex appeal. He might get mocked by the other guys for this. His judgment is also questioned by them as they wonder why he would want to drive a car that can’t hold its value. He doesn’t care; he’s just out to score.

Range Rover Guy- This guy is just out to flaunt his wealth. He says ‘to hell’ with fuel efficiency, practicality, and resale value. He might actually take this car up to the mountains….well at least to the Ski Resort. Even though this machine was designed for the Serengeti, the closest this guy will take this car to the rough outdoors is through the speed bumps outside the nearest wine bar.

Honda Accord Guy- This guy likes the club but kids, family, and life sort of got in the way. He’s not disappointed though because, while he gave up a little on the brand, he certainly gets most of the perks that the other guys have in their rides. He’s very practical and he’s not gonna put his family in debt just so he can look cool in the Safeway parking lot. He’s not even going to be at the Wine bar, Health Club, Discothèque or other hotspots that the other dudes frequent so he’s not too worried about image.

And now...time for something completely different

The Ryan Manifesto

Another political election fast approaches and our nation becomes more deeply mired in apathy, antagonism, and anger. The general populace aches for a return to past glory as our elected officials continue to bicker and feast on pork back in Washington. Our roads crumble, our infrastructure fails, our rights are hedged, our soldiers sent to fight unnecessary battles, our economy limps, our prices climb, our status plummets, and our future looks bleak.

This is not the country that I was raised to love. This is a country whose stewards have failed her. This is a country whose greatness has been covered in the tarnish of partisan politics and selfishness. Our politicians are experts in the art of pandering to special interests. Our citizens no longer ask what my country can do for me but what does my country owe me.
I, Ryan Jensen, can no longer tolerate this sad state of affairs. I write with the passion of a hundred furies and with the conviction of a believer. My vote is up for grabs and these are the conditions upon which I will consider your candidacy. I want my America back and I want its glory restored.

I. Limited Government- We are a nation of capable individuals. We are a nation buttressed by strong local and state governments. Our national government should protect our borders and our basic liberties. Our national government should ensure that commerce flourish under free and fair conditions. Our government should be doing anything that we can take care of ourselves and it should not be telling us how to live our lives.
II. Fiscal Responsibility- As a responsible individual I live within a budget. I know what my income is and if I purchase a fancy BMW I reduce my other expenditures so that my finances don’t bleed red ink. This simple principle seems lost on our politicians. We cannot be everything to everyone, regardless of how many votes can be won through pork barrel projects.
III. Diplomacy- Listen, we don’t have the exclusive rights to every virtue. Let’s talk to our neighbors throughout the world instead of walk over them. Much can be gained by seeking to understand their perspective. This doesn’t make us weak, it makes us wise.
IV. Inward Focus- We cannot police the world if we cannot even take care of ourselves. I do not want my tax dollars being spent to prop up some dictator some rat hole in Asia. I do not want dollars wasted abroad until our citizens at home are taken care of. The obvious exception to this would be humanitarian aid.
V. Education- Our schools lag behind those of the modern world. Our kids do not learn math and they are no longer taught the arts. No money is being spent to ensure that our students get the best education possible. Instead our teachers are being forced to teach to passing standardized tests. This is a no- brainer. Our nation’s ability to rise or fall depends on its citizens. Educated citizens make better citizens.
VI. Environmental Stewardship- I’m not a nut who wants to chain myself to a sycamore to prevent a housing development from starting. But I do believe that we need to take care of our land and to pay attention to the consequences of industrial progress. There’s nothing wrong with recycling and there’s nothing wrong in not developing all of the land in the hopes that it will be enjoyed for future generations.
VII. Energy Policy- We sent a man to the moon, we can certainly adopt an alternative fuel that is easier on our environment and doesn’t fill the pocketbooks of some sheik in Saudi Arabia. The technology is out there but the will to do so isn’t. I want someone who can take the reigns of leadership and push through a plan that gets us weaned off of foreign oil and into using an economical and environmentally friendly alternative.
VIII. Economy- The government should provide opportunities that benefit the innovative ideas of its citizens. The government should provide conditions for growth. The government should not villanize and over tax entities that provide an innovative product or service and make a profit. Free enterprise should be allowed to be free.
IX. Principled Leadership- Our leaders do not need to listen to focus groups in order to form an opinion. Our leaders should be transparent and consistent with their intentions. I do not want another leader who speaks to the other party as if they were bedeviled. I want our leaders to treat one another with respect.
X. Immigration Reform- Listen I understand the plight of the illegal immigrant. Their intentions are good. I also understand the complaints of the small local government whose resources are strained because they are being drained by people who aren’t contributing much to the tax base. But there is middle ground here. We don’t need a blanket amnesty program because it will just encourage more illegal immigration. We don’t need to criminalize these people and build a big wall either. We can revamp our system and make the pathway to citizenship easier. Let these people be contributing members of our society, no longer marginalized. I would much rather have a large Hispanic population that are happy and tax contributing US citizens then a group that is angry and forced into crime because they are not granted a far chance at equal status.

This is a simple and straightforward list. I join the millions of Americans who are absolutely fed up with the direction of our once great nation. We no longer are going to sit idly by as our politicians led us further down this road. My vote is up for grabs and if you can satisfy my demands I will gladly vote for you. Let all of us write our own manifestos and demand more of our government. This is a government by the people and for the people. Let our voices be heard!!!!

Randomizer Volume IV: Series III

• We spent two hours in Ikea and all we got out of it was a power strip, some light bulbs, Lingenberry heartburn, and a newfound respect for deodorant. That place amazes me.
  
• The Dollar is regaining ground against the Euro. I have been following it closely ever since planning for our Italy trip and it is at its strongest point since February. Just to illustrate the need to follow currency fluctuations here's an example. In early Feb the dollar was trading at .68 per Euro, by March it became .65. That small difference meant $200 lost in our vacation budget. One needs to be an expert in arbitrage in order to travel to Europe these days.
• Costco is the ultimate microcosm of 'America'. If I was from another time and another place and I was seeking to understand the inner workings and motivations of early 21st Century America I would spend a few hours at my nearest Costco on a Saturday afternoon. No store better defines the heart of America then that place.
  
• BYU is at best a top 15-20 team this year. A BCS bound team needs to have a better defense. Even if they run the table I don't know if they are truly deserving of a BCS game. Regardless of the BCS ramifications it would be unbelievably cool if Utah and BYU could go into their rivalry game undefeated.
  

Today's Word: Chaebol

Great news for Lacuna Strategic Marketing.

We signed up our latest client, LG. Business is slowly moving forward and soon enough we will have enough home grown capital to embark on some real growth.

I'm particularly excited about the prospects surrounding LG. It is a well established multinational. The project work is very intriguing and can lead to bigger opportunities. And it allows me to work closely with some friends in the Korean community.

While I'm a relative neophyte to Korean culture, I have had a few encounters with it that have planted the seeds of interest.

• My brother served his mission in Seoul. His love for the country and culture was demonstrated through his letters, souvenirs, and kimchee deposits left in the family fridge.
• I had several Korean friends at Thunderbird. They were actually my largest source of discretionary income. They would each pay me $20/an hour to hang out and chat in their efforts to work on their English.
  
• I remember doing research on the uniquely Korean business environment and the dominant role played by Chaebols. The Korean landscape is controlled by several uber- conglomerates that play a very vital role in most aspects of business dealings. Think of US Business Environment right before Roosevelt and his big stick took down the mighty monopoly.

The project should be exceptionally fun and hopefully there will be some travel associated with the work. Now I just need Jeff to help me out with some basic Korean phrases.