Thursday, January 07, 2010

If I were Sunday School President...




In this era of ADD and sensory overload there are very few things that can still manage to capture the attention of the "average Joe". The obvious exception is the top 10 list. We can come up a list, anything from best movies to most boring speeches from the 67th session of Congress, and we will be assured that it will draw the attention, ire and admiration of this attention deficient audience. The list is the equivalent of the hamburger; cheap, easy, and an object in which everyone has an opinion. And since we are all about conveniently summarizing things, such as our years, we are subject to myriad lists each December and January.

To keep with this theme I've decided to generate a 10 ten list of potential LDS Sunday School lessons. Our ward recently changed times and I rue prospect of dealing with the afternoon slot. I'm considering a move to the neighboring Lutheran congregation unless someone offers to teach one of these classes.


Top 10 Lessons not found in an LDS approved manual

  1. Cain, the White Horse prophesy, obscure comments from Brigham Young, and the truth behind Mormon urban legends.
  2. 101 Ways to replicate the Cafe Rio menu for your next ward gathering.
  3. Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, and the need for improved institutional oversight.
  4. How to successfully prepare a lesson with less then three references to your mission.
  5. Mormon Profiteering: 10 easy steps to side step trademark laws in coming up with merchandising ideas for Deseret Book.
  6. Culture Shock: A deeper look into life in Utah County and the oddities of Mormon culture.
  7. Awake!: How to confound a Jehovah's Witness in 4 verses or less.
  8. Neighborly Relations: How to peacefully confront and diffuse the awkward conversation from the family in the ward who is pushing Quixtar.
  9. Real Estate opportunities in Jackson County, Missouri.
  10. Gerald Lund, his writings, and a case for canonizing the "Work and the Glory" series.

Did I miss anything?

3 comments:

Dave said...

Thanks for the list. I've been SS President in my ward for a couple of months now and haven't exactly figured out what I am supposed to do. Your list gave me the inspiration to step up and I now have the topics for the next ten lessons I teach when one of my teachers bails, leaving me to sub at the last minute.

Ronifer269 said...

Honorable mention:

How to successfully play games on your blackberry during Sacrament meeting without being noticed by wife, children, neighbors, and Bishopric.

Proper food storage. When having a second box of Cookie Crisp in the pantry just won't cut it.

Jeffers said...

Lol! Especially because I just got home from an hour meeting with the Stake President about our 2010 goals for the Stake Sunday School (I'm the Stake Sunday School President). I'm definitely going to take some of those suggestions to my next stewardship meeting. But don't forget about the Yellow Horse prophesy either, the Adam-God theory, or Blood Atonement. Oh, and maybe we could get as a guest speaker the Japanese pilot who tried to bomb the Hawaii temple in WWII but his bomb failed and he later converted.

Dude